my girlfriend hates indie rock
 

My gf cannot stand any indie bands I am into. Even bands I consider to have strong pop elements like r.e.m., pixies, spoon, she can't get into. For some reason this bothers me more than I feel it should, to the point that I am almost ready to give uo on the relationship because in past relationships I have felt a stronger bond and understanding with women when we relate to each others tastes in music. Am I being to harsh or does anyone else feel the same?

I think that's kind of dumb.

I feel the same.
Only I check this out before I start a relationship :).
I don't mind if her taste is different, but there has to be some similarities so we can enjoy music together. It's the most important thing in my life. Must be shared.

What does she like?

Why the hell would you gauge any important aspect of your relationship with another woman on the basis of music preference? What, are you guys also in a band together? If not, then it doesn't matter. Let her listen to her music and you can listen to yours. If you're trying to force your taste down her throat then the issue lies with you. And if you're only finding a connection with a woman via music, then maybe you should hold off on dating until you're a bit older...

The only caveat I have to this is the matter of mutual respect. If either of you can't NOT blare your unwanted preferences in front of each other 24/7, then that's a problem. Otherwise, you should both be seeing more important things in each other than what style of music you like or can talk about. And if you do, then you shouldn't have any problems respecting each other's personal differences.

I think you should watch High Fidelity

I say dump her.

Not because she doesn't share your taste in music but because you'd use something as insignificant as taste in music to find an excuse to question dumping her.

If the exact same taste in music is your standard for staying together then don't. If she has any self respect, she isn't going to change her style of music tastes just to stay in a relationship with you. So either learn how to live with the different tastes of music or find some one with the standards you set.

If you really feel that her musical preference is a reason to dump her then you must not have very strong feelings for her. So, unless you can't find a way around this dilemma then I suggest you leave her (but do it nicely and don't tell her the reason). I'm sorry to hear that this is even a problem...

I'm personally looking forward to a relationship where me and the girl have nothing musically in common. I'm a sucker for contrast. But it's never a necessity. I honestly never converse with girls about music, if only abruptly. Finding mutual ground is more important in a relationship than looking for mutual ground to already be settled; part of the fun has to lie in discovering your compatibility without it being too obvious, doesn't it?

Unless it's to the point where she's breaking your CDs and pissing on your iPod, it doesn't matter at all. If you HAVE to listen to music when you're around her, use headphones.

Musical tastes should have no real effect on relationships. I've gone out with girls who were into the likes of My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park and Nickelback and it didn't bother me the slightest. Likewise they didn't mind whatever music i was into either, we did have some overlap though. If you both have strong feelings for each other then your musical interests should have no effect.

all my exes and my fiancee hates all the music I listen to except maybe for slow jazz and classical

my fiancee hates country and black metal the most

Hahaha, I disagree with all of you ;D.

I guess it depends more on how important music is for you, than on how important your girlfriend is for you. You guys may have noticed my ex was (is) very important to me but I can assure you that we wouldn't have been together if she hadn't had a huge interest in music. I wouldn't want to be together with a girl that didn't share the love for music. It doesn't have to be the same music, but it has to be a proper music freak. Not some top 40 follower.

Dump her ass. Kick her to the curb.

I don't feel the same way you do when it comes to music and I'm okay with my future girlfriend not liking anything that I like but I know that it's a big part of being in a relationship for you. Listen to your heart if it doesn't feel right then let her go. You probably take music a bit too seriously and let it hinder relationships but that's fine. If it turns you off that she doesn't like a certain genre then who are we to judge you for it. It is NOT harsh.

^^only one of my exes was seriously hip to Indie - she likes Radiohead, Jesus and Mary Chain and Placebo

Can't say I don't agree with her though. Sometimes indie music can get so repetitive, and I end up not being able to tell other bands apart from each other. Albeit, not all indie is like this (some of it can be fantastic). A bit off topic...

I'd prefer that my girlfriend and I both enjoy what each other chooses to play on our many car rides. And I'm really glad that we do. If your significant other hates what you love, whether it be music, sports, video games, hiking, surfing, or anything for that matter, I feel like you should search elsewhere.

That's a touch... egotistical. You'll never have all the same preferences. Besides, I'm sure in time she'll come around.

People have had strong relationships despite differences much greater than music taste in the past.

That being said, I find music taste is a large dictate of personality (not a determinant but a component). And if your music is important to you, than why shouldn't you be disappointed that this person is having trouble appreciating something you're so invested in.

No advice, just words.

"my girlfriend hates indie rock" (all lowercase of course) sounds like the name of an indie rock album.

I would never dump/date a girl because of her musical preferences but my ex didn't really like music at all which was a shame since music is the most important thing to me. She didn't quite understand why I'm so passionate when it comes to music and sometimes when I was listening to music she came and put it away saying she couldn't listen to it. I'm kind of hoping that the next girl I'll be with would be atleast a little passionate when it comes to music. It's not an issue for me but it would be nice nonetheless.

^^neither would I

my only finagle is when during intercourse, and she disagrees with the background music I put on

That's a fuucking rad album title.

If having sex was important to you and your girlfriend would never have sex, would you end the relationship?

not sure if you are going to see this but w/e

hell yes I would have to terminate that relationship pronto.

I would use the line "it's not me, it's you!"

I wouldn't. Depends on the reason she has for not wanting to have sex :)

of course you wouldn't....no one asked you :rolleyes:

j/k

Allright, you want to know the complete unsubtle answer? ;)
I wouldn't, but then she has to agree with me jerking of whenever I want.
And that's not a joke either. But that's not really the stuff you just put on a forum, is it?
Come to think of it, where is Dirty lately?

Eitherway, ontopic. Apart from that, I don't mind having a sexless relationship as long as there's other ways for us to show eachother we love eachother :)

idk he's been M.I.A. lately but it is a friday night so maybe he went out drinking/to a bar.

I couldn't deal with a sexless relationship.

sigh.

look, ignore these holier-than-thou dopes who say this is no criteria to base your relationship on. Its very much a viable platform to move from so long as you don't like ****ty indie.

She doesn't like indie, though, because you aren't hipster enough. Are you jeans tight enough? Your courier bag bright enough? Did third world mothers knit your knit cap? I don't think so. You must push yourself father, to bend her will to indie music.

As Prince would say, thats pussy control.

I'd listen to that.

In the past, I can honestly say that I have been guilty of basing someone's suitability as a potential significant other on trivial things such as musical taste. I went so far as to not date possibly one of the greatest people I've ever met because she was into musical theatre more than dramatic theatre. Not kidding. One of the biggest regrets in my life, to be quite honest.

So basically, it should be about the person, and not about the musical common ground as much. You'll find somewhere where you intersect musically. You really shouldn't be that nit-picky in a relationship; you already like them for some reason. Musical taste, a trivial detail to be honest, should not change that.

If she's baggin' the shit out of your music, perhaps she's got better taste and you should pay close attention, otherwise it's perfectly cool to dump her.

If she just ain't interested but ain't stopping you from listening to it either then you need to dry your eyes mate.

^ By the way, is that ron weasley with a guitar?

Allright, it's time to tell you something. You're not going to like me for this.
I seriously dislike theatre plays and musicals.
And to make stuff even worse, you're the very first person who participates in theatre I actually like. It's probably a dutch thing, but all the theatre people I know and have heard about here are egocentric overly dramatic attention-whores.

I'm sorry if this shocks you so I'd like to add, altough I have said that more than once, that I really like you. And I'm sure there's more people in theatre that are really likeable, but maybe just not in the Netherlands or I just ran into the wrong people. There's quite a few references though as two of my friends have studied theatre technique (as in lighting, audio, video).

Eitherway, this has an ontopic side to it; I would think twice before starting a relationship with someone who has parts in plays. So I don't think of it as a strange or stupid thing that you didn't date her because of the form of theatre she attends.
Sorry to hear that it was a mistake though... Or maybe not :)

And I stick to my point: I wouldn't want a girlfriend who can't share what is most important for me; Music. Somehow though I've so far managed to run into girls who have a great taste in music and into girls who say they don't care for music, until I play music when they're there. I somehow manage to pick the right stuff, because after they've been at my place I'm always making mixed tapes for them... Yeah :)

:rofl:

Musical taste may seem like a trivial detail to you but it's not to him. He places a higher value on it and because of that. That's the main reason I told him to dump her. So what if he likes other qualities in the girl it's not worth it if he places such a high value on music taste that way. You'd have to be in his shoes to really understand.

No, you are right, S_k a majority of the people associated with dramatic theatre/musical theatre are very unlikeable people. Sara is the first one that I have come across that is a bit different than the normal stereotype but a majority of the time people in those fields live up to the stereotype.

Egocentric overly dramatic attention whores is all they know it's their way of life and it's fraking annoying.

Allright. I sort of hoped it was a dutch thing.
But Sara rocks :).

Couldn't have said it better myself.
Besides isn't it supposed to be our differences that bring us together? If niether of you are willing to make the effort to find a common music interest (which in all honesty shouldn't be hard) then you obviously won't be willing to make efforts in any other aspect of your relationship. Obviously we don't know the details. But if loving Indie music is really that important to you, shouldn't you have noticed this right away? Like on the first date, your first question should have been "Do you like Indie ?" And if the answer was "no".. you should have IMMEDIATLY WALKED AWAY. Just some advice for the future :)

Have to agree. I also don't think you should worry about whether or not it is 'right or wrong' to dump someone over musical tastes. It's obviously important enough to you if you're even considering splitting over it. Who cares if it's right or wrong. It just is.