s_k

People telling me I'm a lazy **** who doesn't want to work is really the very worst thing you can say to me. When it comes to words, it really doesn't get worse, literally. If you don't understand, you're just going to have to take my word for it. The fact that this hurts me so much should explain to you that it's not like I haven't tried. If I were that lazy ****, I'd just go 'yeah, it's great, innit? I don't do **** but I do get paid'. Well I never chose to be like this, I can assure you that.

@ right-track: The Dutch aren't relaxed .
And it's impossible for me to be nice to everyone and not care. The reason I am nice is because I care about the people around me.

@ Neapolitan: This is going to sound a bit odd, but I am too autistic (google again ) to have real insight in what others feel. My cause --> effect system is also lacking. So I wouldn't know if what you say is true. I sure as hell know though that there's a couple of very frustrated people here and I think this definitely has something to do with the way they respond to me. Why else would they bother?

@ Vanilla: I cannot 'select' stuff. It all hits me with the same impact. I haven't got that switch that a lot of people have, to turn off your senses. I can't prevent the stuff I read from touching me as much as I cannot NOT hear music. E.g.; In supermarkets or on the radio. When there's an awful song you really don't like on it, you just don't listen to it. I can't do that. It's a very strange thing to say, but I just can't ignore stuff. It's just not possible for me.
Go figure how bullies in elementary school worked 8-).
"Just ignore them"
Rrrright.
Eitherway, thanks a lot. Really. It's hard to be angry, sad and nice at the same time but I really appreciate what you say.

I'm sort of mixing replies to two topics up, here. But anyway; For those people who say I'm egocentric, and I'm not going to deny that, please google aspergers syndrome. Again, it's not like I can help it.
And for those people who think I should be working; It's virtually impossible here to get a disability benefit. You don't get **** unless you're really in trouble. The benefit itself is about 1300 dollars, so it's not like I'm making it easy on myself with that tiny amount of money. Then, I love to work. I work every ****ing day helping loads and loads of people. I just can't work when someone is telling me exactly what to do and I'm not organized enough to be my own boss. It really is that simple.
You people shouldn't forget that I've been on this earth for 27 years. In 24 of those years I was struggling to get through schools and get jobs, even though I already had my benefit for years. I just gave up finding a job though the regular paths now, it's not like I've always been like this. But there is a moment in which you have to be honest to yourself and admit: I'm not going to make this. Well I am not going to make this.

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Have some music recommendations!