Jesus will predict your future!
 

Ask me and with the help of my incredible Jesus powers, I will predict your future! Ask me specific questions though, e.g. When will I die? Will I ever make it as a rapper? Only ask me specific questions, as I haven't got all day!

How long will my marriage last?

6 years. Your partner will file for divorce, and leave you with not a penny to your name.

umm this is a bit strange.....

Damn...a whole 6 years!!! :mad:

I sense you have confusion inside of you... I also sense you made this post to boost your post count...

How long will I have mono?

Only one more week to go. Then you will be free of the Rush in the Bush!

will i start seeing the guy in my day dreams (that yes is real and not just a dream guy) :o) ???

No. Unfortunately he likes your best friend. Although something could change his mind...I'll give you a clue.Black PVC

haha my best friend is a guy!!!

Well, my predictions are never wrong, so you need to do A LOT to get him to take your eyes off his dream guy.

hahaha.. your so wrong!!!!!!

but heres a good question... when will i get knocked up???
hahah!

Never. You will find out that you can never be pregnant.

i already know that...

Will scientists ever invent a way for men to get pregnant?

No. They will never even try. They will realise that getting a man pregnant is one part of nature they should never mess with.

Will i ever not be late for science? & will i not be sent to the deans office for at least a week?

You will turn over a new leaf one morning and start getting to school earlier and stop getting into trouble. You will realise that without a good education, all the paths that you wish to follow have traffic cones lining them and a banner saying 'under construction'. If you continue to live your life without care, then the paths will never be completed.

without care? i do care. okay, heres another

will my father realize he is wrong?

will the man that has my blood.. which by the rest of the world would consider to be my real father..when will he die?
just wondering really..

Your father hates to be proved wrong, doesn't he? Even though he will realise he is wrong, he will never admit it. Just rest with the fact that he knows he is.

14 years from now. Before his death he will have a private conversation with you, which will go really well. You will then consider calling him Father, but just as your relationship strengthens, he will die suddenly.

Will you ever realise that there was a thread like this made my Urban?

There was a thread like this made by Urban, but his was a general Q and A thing. Mine is predicting the future. Also, that thread was to ask HIM things, this one was to ask ME. So therefore, me and Urban are going to have totally different answers because we are totally different people. Now have you got a sensible question, or are you going to point out something in another thread, just to make yourself feel better in your miserable little existence?

NEXT PLEASE.

good to know.. thank you...

Why do you mock the name of Jesus Christ?

umm answer this..
what will i do with my life???

Yes! What will i do with my life?

haha this is mean.. are we being mean to hobojesus ??

How can I mock myself?

You will run an Art shop for many years, before taking over as owner. You will then begin to paint, and discover a hidden talent. You will become a moderately famous painter and will be worth a small fortune.

Will my cock ever shrink in the near future?

Girls are starting to complain that two feet is too long.

If you are Jesus then why aren't millions of people not here today? And why hasn't the apocalypse started? And why hasn't a new leader rose out of a far nation? And why do you mock yourself?

You will move to the country, running away from a disagreement you had with a Gang. In the country you will become a farmer, but go bankrupt when the rival gang catches up with you and kills your livestock and cuts down your crops.

Can it get any smaller?

I didn't say I am the Jesus Christ that you speak of. I am another Jesus Christ. I share the name with the one you treasure most dearly. And I don't mock myself, I mock people who I am better than, you insignificant worm, you.

i think if that is my future.. i will be a very happy person

will i become a happy person?? bet this depression??

guess again

will i ever become one of those cool types that speaks like a sarcastic 19th century butler with a crippling self confidence issue?