TrampInaTux

Raine how old are you again?

DontRunMeOver

She's 16 (nearly 17).

There's no need for you to dump your boyfriend at the moment. I don't think you should consider giving in to pressure to get married anytime soon though, as whatever you've already been through in your life and however mature you and others already consider you to be, you're going to mature and change further over the next few years... whereas a 25 year old guy isn't going to change so much. Chances are, give it a few years and you'll be seeing him as immature and he'll annoy the hell out of you. But that'll all depend on the progress of time. You might not have painted the best picture of him by saying that he doesn't stand up to his mum, but that was specifically something that pissed you off, so I suppose for now it'd make sense to assume that's the worst he's done.

You say arranged marriages are still popular in your (Japanese?) family and some think you should be married by the age of 16? What the hell? I've hung out in rural villages in India and Africa and don't know of anybody in these places who is married by 16 anymore. Except the weird tribals who live in the woods. And they were weird... and lived in the woods.

__________________

TrampInaTux

See this is the thing... I don't find a 25 year old guy dating a 17 year old girl to be disgusting. But a 16 year old girl...that's a totally different story. I don't know why but there's something wrong about a 25 year old guy dating you. And your boyfriends mother called you a tramp? Shouldn't she be judging her son more? You are young and still naive. He has no excuse.

I find it disturbing that you don't seem to bothered about dating guys two decades older than you. You need your head sorted.

MURDER JUNKIE

I don't give out advice over the internet unless it is asked for

cuz I'm cool like dat

DontRunMeOver

Spot on. Personally, I don't think there's a problem at all from the girl's side in a 16 year old girl wanting to be in a relationship with a 25 year old guy. The man is going to tend to be more emotionally mature, wiser, more stable and probably more physically attractive aged 25 than he was at age 16. Women find those things attractive, its only natural to do so, so its a case of going for what they find more attractive. There are pros and cons for girls to date guys their own age and for them to date guys older (also to date guys younger, but this doesn't appeal so often!).

But what you've got to ask is what a guy is looking for in a girl in her mid-teens when he's in his mid twenties. He might be very physically attracted to her, but personally I'd have to worry about his own mentality when he finds he gets on best with somebody with that many less years of experience under her belt. Now, Raine sounds like she might have had more than the usual share of experiences packed into her 16 years (although to assume so might be pretty patronising to all of the other people her own age), but still that leaves me wondering what the hell a guy is thinking we he wouldn't rather be dating a woman around their own age - at least within a society where he should have been brought up to see that as the norm.

__________________

TrampInaTux

I think it's alright for a 16 year old girl to be attracted to an older guy, there's no harm there. But surely at 16 you must wonder exactly what a 25 year old guy wants with you? And for you to be living with him also? There's the age old saying that love has no age limits, but there's another lesser known saying to go along with it... 'a 25 year old man shouldn't be screwing a 16 year old.'

Barnard17

Raine, you're at school so presumably he's the one making the money. Why the bloody hell is he letting you be the one doing the pushing? You should be the one on the bloody sofa if you're the one with the complaint.

He sounds like a complete pussy, to need to be going out with someone 9 years younger than himself at his age and to let you have such control within the relationship. My bets? He's either getting sex from elsewhere, or will be soon.

Has for the whole mother issue. Men don't get into arguments when they can just as easily ignore them. Why? Because getting into the argument means you WILL be pissing off one person a lot, and takes effort. And men are lazy.

__________________

explosions-in-my-pants

for one, I don't agree with the girlfriend and mother having problems.. because they shouldn't have enough conversation that a problem would arise out of it.. I mean when your married you can start to talk to each others parents because well weather each other likes it or not your there for good (well hopefully seeings how you'd be married) other then if your just a simple girlfriend, if fights get too awkard between parent and girlfriend the boyfriend might give up his family for you, ruin his life then blame it all on you and then you both have dragged out ****ty lives together or apart.. and or if he choose what his mom thinks then you be understanding and go oh well.. get over it.. and stay with him.. and hope that you and his mom are ok...

so in my opinion he should side with whomever he agrees with and then give his opinions as to why or why not he agrees and disagrees.. if not then things can just get messy and be ugly for a few days.. and have a weird awkward impack on the relationship.. maybe even a un-noticed one.. but it will uncover its self...The age difference is even to big for my liking.. when it comes to your ex's that you've dated.. there are limites.. I think at least I have them. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 24 going on 25 and well I wouldn't go any older then that really well at least i can't see it happening.

I can tho understand your feelings towards the topic about your boyfriend and his mother. I mean its not fair that he wouldn't trsut you.. he should have ask his mother what she thought of you long before it got to this point.you don't need to do that if you live with someone thats older then 18, and its ok with your parents if its of the different sex....also with age back a long time ago it was normal for women to be 14 - 15 -16 years of age seeing men and marrying them with the men being in there late 20's.... whys it looked so down upon now?

keep in mind I wouldn't see a man EVER more then 10 years older then me, and when I would those ages I wouldn't see a man more then 5 years older then.. there are ages when its completely wrong and ages where its ok because of matureity.

oh and to me... every man that has a attaction for women with find a attaction to teenage women.. why? because well how do you know there teenagers for one.. by the time women are that age they pretty much look the way they will when there in there 20's.. so its only normal for a man to be attacted to a woman that young even if its only looks wise and not really any other way.. its not something that really can be controled you either are attacked to it or your not. Doesn't mean if your a 40 year old man that you should do something about it tho.. I mean just cause you grow older doesn't mean your taste for women does.. so if your wife was a hottie when you meet then you'll maybe always like hotties.. just don't do anythng about it.. anyways... there are limites more so for girls in high school.. but theres not always something wrong with the men.

Raine

wow this thread is old.

1) do guys lose interests inf riendships over periods of time?
2) what's it mean when a guy starts acting differently
3) is it possible for me to lose my male (best) friend to a girl friend (if he had one) in the sense that if he started dating how much would it effect our relationship
4) if you reject a guy (that is your friend for whatever reason) it is possible to still be friends. Right?
5) about those long awkward silences. . . . what do they really mean? or are guys just not always talkative all the time. Like I dunno how to explain it. . .

thanks MBers.

__________________
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

TrampInaTux

1) Well if it's a proper friendship then no... you should never lose interest in a good friendship...
2) He might like the person he is acting differently to, he might be thinking of her in a new light.
3) Yeah it is possible. If he's in a relationship with another girl then it could take a toll on your friendship, the same way it might take a toll on his friendship with other blokes. He might see it as he doesn't need the girl who is his friend anymore as he has a girlfriend. Unfortunately this isn't his fault, it might just be subconsciously.
4) Well kinda... I know some people who got rejected by friends and they still carried on being friends, but it was never quite the same... others handle it differently. Some spend the friendship trying to impress the girl, others spend it trying to belittle them as payback.
5) Well it's just nervousness around you... there's not much else to it... unless he's not a very talkative bloke...