right-track's guide to essential life-skills.
 

1. How to get by in Welsh.

Apologies to moley and Mr. Sensitive.

Out of my way you thieving dark haired little midget.
Allan o fy ffordd, y corrach bach gwallt-dulladronllyd.

Don't you "Boyo" me, you Taffy yokel.
Paid galw "Boyo" arna' i, taeog Gymro.

And my favourite...

No I don't want to see another chapel...are there no pubs?
Na dydw i ddim eisiau gweld capelarall...oes na ddim tafarndai?

2. How to disgust your mates.

1. Wet your fingers with water and creep up on a mate.

2. Pretend to sneeze and simultaneously flick the water onto the back of their neck.

3.For extra realism put yogurt on your other hand and when they turn round...lick the yogurt off your fingers and ask them if they want some.

Call me ignorant, but Welsh is a spoken language? I thought it was akin to elven.

Similar, in that they are spoken by people of about the same height.
Sadly, a dying language.

Moley tried to teach me a welsh word once, I couldn't pronounce it :(

^ oh me too
it wa slike 237930 charchters long

Imagine hawking up flem, it helps with pronunciation.
It's a real shame if it dies out. It's the oldest language in Britain.
Estimated at between 2,500 - 4,000 years old.

3. How to cop a free feel.

One for the boys.

1. Bet the girl you fancy 50p, or whatever is half a dollar these days, that you can make her tits wobble without touching them.

2. Wobble her tits...give her the money.

That would never work on me.

Its like the whole

"Can you touch your elbows behind your back?"