ITT I wouldn't second guess mother.

Thanks. For so long I didn't think of myself. At one point I was so depressed I was unable to eat for three days. Nothing at all. First time I tried it all came back up, and I went two further days without even trying to eat. I got so weak I literally believed I was dying, and was ready to go next door to hand in the door key and ask them to call an ambulance, and have Karen looked after. Luckily I survived, but during that time, at its height, I had to get the doctor for Karen and was told she had to go to hospital. I was basically fainting myself but still had to take her, wait about sixteen hours to be seen and get home again, then grab like two hours' sleep, get up and give her her dinner (we left for the hospital about 9pm and finally arrived home about 2pm the next day). There was nothing I could do, nobody I could turn to, but I felt if I went to the hospital I would not come back.

Now I'm more careful, and even if I don't feel like eating I make sure I do. I don't ever want to go through that again. I can't afford to. If I get sick or die who will look after her?

Oh, I used to have an office job, same job for almost 30 years. It was in a freight firm. I quite enjoyed it.

Thanks ribbons. I have to leave my halo in to be repaired... ;)
I'm no saint, believe me. I lose it like anyone else. But to my mind there was and is no choice. I couldn't stand to think of her slowing wasting away in some cold impersonal nursing home. It literally would kill her, I know it would. She has broached the idea of ending it all more than once, which is pretty terrifying because what can you say to convince her otherwise? Luckily (I guess) she can't do it on her own and it's illegal for me to assist, though in the darkest times I have wondered...

I got to agree with Bat. Kettle cooked are the best kind of chips. Perfect amount of crispiness to each bite. Most don't have an obnoxious level of flavoring/residue that gets stuck on your hands. Ever had Cape Cod's Dark Russet kettle cooked chips? **** is just too good.

I got to say that Pringles are basically my least favorite chips though. Pringles are basically a communist utopia inside a underwhelming tasting LIFO stack of potato crisps - everything is the same, it all comes out one way and it has a piss-poor version of the Monopoly man as a mascot, to further muddy the waters and distract you from how mediocre the chips are.

I'm late but f u c k it.

1. What piece of old-style technology do you miss, and why?

Camcorders. Having a phone to record all the time is great, but there was something about the ritual of shooting on tape -- and the beautiful imperfections of the final result -- that's just hard to duplicate on digital.

I actually have a camcorder app on my phone I use occasionally and it does give footage that nice 1996 soft glow and static, but something about knowing it's just a recreation of something that once was makes it less satisfying.

2. What's your favourite flavour(s) of crisps/potato chips?

Are Cheez It's crisps? Those.

3. If you could visit any planet, real or fictional, which one would it be?

I'd visit Alderaan and tell those people to GTFO.


4. What was the last thing that made you lose your temper?

Some facebook drama involving a pedo webcomic artist. She uses her sizable platform to equate transgenderism with her kink for baby animals wearing diapers and ****ting themselves. The actual LGBT community suffers so much because of these clowns.

5. What's your level of gardening? Green thumb? Black thumb? No interest etc?

I have been known to watch my dad garden while holding a drink for him lol.

6. What do you think is the single most important issue in the world today?
Elimination of poverty/emancipation of women/end of capitalism

1. What piece of old-style technology do you miss, and why?

I miss VHS home videos. Specifically, the ones from my childhood. I would give anything to watch those again.

2. What's your favourite flavour(s) of crisps/potato chips?

Now you're asking the important questions. I'm quite privy to sweet potato chips or dill pickle flavor chips.

3. If you could visit any planet, real or fictional, which one would it be?

Definitely would have to go with fictional because of the lack of information in the alternative. Nothing specifically comes to mind, so I'd rather make my own imaginary planet full of all manner of absurdities and beauties.

4. What was the last thing that made you lose your temper?

I'm DEFINITELY not a bad-tempered person and I generally keep any anger I feel under control. I hate being around angry people who throw their temper around because I grew up around abusive angry people. That being said, I did get angry last month because the washing machine lid slammed on my finger. The blood blister is still healing. Hurt like a bastard.

5. What's your level of gardening? Green thumb? Black thumb? No interest etc?

Super interested in gardening yet I know nothing about gardening. This is true of many things... perhaps one day I'll give it a proper go.

6. What do you think is the single most important issue in the world today?

Very tough question. I mean, setting aside the pandemic, economic inequality comes to mind where I live in America. Shoot... so many things come to mind though. Lots of issues that need to be tackled. A large net must be cast in short time while the fire is hot.

Hmm. To go into my "Yes Minister" mode for a moment, if you cast a wide net while the fire is hot the net is going to go up in flames.

Okay, well, if you guys are going to leave me to do these every week I'm gonna theme this mother****er.

This week's theme is a dark one...

1. When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

2. Without condoning it, which war/conflict/battle interests you most?

3. Which musician we lost (recent or not) do you miss most?

4. What instrument seems the saddest to you?

5. Truthfully, how do you think you would hold up under torture?

6. Who is your favourite (!) serial killer?

Told you it was a dark one!

1. When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

Can't remember the last time I actually felt my life was in danger.

2. Without condoning it, which war/conflict/battle interests you most?

Stalingrad probably.

3. Which musician we lost (recent or not) do you miss most?

Haven't had any losses that affected me but I'll miss Alexi Laiho even if Children of Bodom have been long in the tooth for years. They headlined the first show I ever went to on my own.

4. What instrument seems the saddest to you?

Violin obvs.

5. Truthfully, how do you think you would hold up under torture?

The Jews are in the attic, sir. Please don't hurt me.

6. Who is your favourite (!) serial killer?

Ted Bundy. The platonic ideal of the serial killer.

1. When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

When I hit a moose on the highway in the middle of the night. By some act of god, though it landed right on my windshied, it somehow didn't break through. Glass all over me and in my clothes. My sedan was totaled.

2. Without condoning it, which war/conflict/battle interests you most?

That's a tough one. Perhaps the Romanian Revolution of '89.

3. Which musician we lost (recent or not) do you miss most?

That's easy. Mark E. Smith.

4. What instrument seems the saddest to you?

The violin.

5. Truthfully, how do you think you would hold up under torture?

Depends on if I knew what the end-goal was and the circumstances. If my loved ones were on the line, I'd hold up well. If I was being tortured for the sick pleasure of my assailant, I would not hold up well.

6. Who is your favourite (!) serial killer?

Albert Fish. The fact that he lured the girl, roasted her buns, and sent her mom a disgusting letter about it puts him over the top.

Finally, I'm actually doing this on Saturday.

1. When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

I don't frighten easy. Few years ago my friend's husband threatened to murder me in a genuinely unhinged moment for him and I actually in that moment felt he was capable of it. I believe he was worried I'd magically turn his wife into a lesbian and steal her away. He's got issues and generally isn't a violent guy but in that moment his imagination really seemed to be running away with him and I read the situation as deadly serious.

2. Without condoning it, which war/conflict/battle interests you most?

Vietnam. Hopeless imperialist conflict. So much death for absolutely nothing. The disillusionment produced great music, as a side effect.

3. Which musician we lost (recent or not) do you miss most?

Sophie. She left us way too early.

4. What instrument seems the saddest to you?

Oboe, because nobody gives a **** about it.

5. Truthfully, how do you think you would hold up under torture?

Truthfully, I might enjoy it a little too much.

6. Who is your favourite (!) serial killer?

Probably Luca, the guy who made those awful kitten snuff videos. He only killed one person but the manhunt to find him is just an incredible story. If you can stomach it check out Don't F**K with Cats documentary.