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View Poll Results: Hey. Did you just grab my ass?
Yes... 30 34.48%
From where I'm standing that is a physical impossibility 26 29.89%
Sh...Should I? 31 35.63%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-03-2014, 06:33 PM   #17321 (permalink)
Maelian
 
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Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Thoughts from the Super Market...


Dear Ms. Dumb Bitch Blocking My Way,

I would like to thank you for stopping your shopping cart in the aisle, right next to a stocking cart that had been left there by an employee. I mean, it would be understandable had you done this for five seconds while picking something off of a shelf, or if you just didn't see anyone around you, but it takes a special kind of cunt to just stand there, blocking my way, when I am clearly right in front of you. I also very much appreciate it that you pretended not to notice me when I tried to move the stocking cart, so that I could get by, and continued to stand there with your thumb up your ass. And the employee who grabbed the stocking cart when he saw what was going on was an asshole. How dare he show basic courtesy.

I hope your children drown in a toilet,

The Batlord


Dear Stupid, Old People Who Were Also Blocking My Way,

Granted, I was behind you, but it was still magical how you decided to stop right next to someone else, completely blocking the aisle for a good thirty seconds. Now, I don't know who stopped next to who first, but you're all a bunch of delightful fuckwads who will thankfully not be on this earth for much longer, allowing me to shop in peace.

Here's hoping your relatives pull the plug sooner rather than later,

The Batlord


Dear Poor Person Who Can't Read a Coupon,

So, regardless of whether you all want to admit it, the most irritating sight in a store line is someone who is clearly on the lower end of the economic spectrum, holding a coupon. I don't know if they are feigning ignorance in the hopes that the cashier will just give in and let them use a "buy 2 get 1 free Kraft macaroni and cheese" coupon when only buying two of them, or if their lack of education leaves their reading comprehension level with something to be desired, but what I do know, is that I want you dead. Dead dead. Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars, just die. Painfully. Hopefully I will be able to watch. And if not, someone please film it.

Yours in withering contempt,

The Batlord
I was really having such a miserable day until I read this. Stuff has kind of made me laugh today but this really knocked me out.

The only thing worse than customers pissing me off at work with their unbelievable stupidity are customers being complete fucking shitheads when I'm out shopping.

I really hate those fucking All-American Soccer Moms™ with their seven screaming hellcreatures, giant-ass stroller (pushed by one of the older children) and shopping cart blocking off an entire aisle while the shit-for-brains cow compares labels on whatever disgusting shit her sprogs are going to eat for dinner.

Or those types that you almost know for sure are typically hermits but couldn't bother someone else to do their shopping for them, so they rounded up a full cart and pushed their sweatpants-wearing ass to the self-checkout, scanning their frozen dinners one by one as slowly as possible.

I fucking hate bad customers.
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:56 PM   #17322 (permalink)
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Also, what do you mean by the original post? Parents don't like losing to their children. Haven't you ever watched "American Dad"?
I've never watched it. I think a lot of parents are selfless enough to take pleasure in losing to their children so the kids feel good about themselves.
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:59 PM   #17323 (permalink)
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that's not losing to your kid, that's letting your kid win.
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Old 12-03-2014, 09:30 PM   #17324 (permalink)
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I've never watched it. I think a lot of parents are selfless enough to take pleasure in losing to their children so the kids feel good about themselves.
By all means, have your kid grow up entitled and not knowing how to lose.
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Old 12-03-2014, 10:43 PM   #17325 (permalink)
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that's not losing to your kid, that's letting your kid win.
Ahh, semantics, how I love you so..

And boxers that throw fights don't lose either. Am I right?

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By all means, have your kid grow up entitled and not knowing how to lose.
Not arguing that point. There should be a balance. I was just messing with Trollheart, and then it got all serious. I don't even want kids. I'm not wasting 20+ years raising something that may or may not grow up to be a Batlord. I'm selfish, we only live once.
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Old 12-03-2014, 10:44 PM   #17326 (permalink)
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there is a difference though. cause when your kid grows up and then genuinely beats you, much different from when you let him win when he was little.
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Old 12-03-2014, 11:23 PM   #17327 (permalink)
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Ahh, semantics, how I love you so..

And boxers that throw fights don't lose either. Am I right?



Not arguing that point. There should be a balance. I was just messing with Trollheart, and then it got all serious. I don't even want kids. I'm not wasting 20+ years raising something that may or may not grow up to be a Batlord. I'm selfish, we only live once.
It's not that simple, boxers are sometimes pressured into throwing fights. Either through personal threats or threats to love ones. I had a friend who was a boxer, and he had to carry a piece cause how ridiculous it was guys coming up to him about that.
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Actually, I like you a lot, Nea. That's why I treat you like ****. It's the MB way.

"it counts in our hearts" ?ºº?
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Old 12-04-2014, 04:12 AM   #17328 (permalink)
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6 AM, haven't slept. Got a super duper nagging, vague sense of unease that isn't typical finals stress. Never came close to failing an exam before, and I only need 75% correct on it tomorrow, but I can't shake this anxiety that I'm going to magically **** everything up somehow.
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Old 12-04-2014, 04:46 AM   #17329 (permalink)
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Don't self-handicap.
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Old 12-04-2014, 05:50 AM   #17330 (permalink)
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Have a big ass packet due in Honors English today, and I lost it weeks ago. Well could be worse I suppose.
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