^ That is exactly how I am. I used to have three friends who I felt I could talk to about anything and whenever anything happened, I had anything on mind or I felt myself wanting to talk someone's ear off, it was perfectly natural for me to go to one of them. It was often a two-way street too.

Now and for the last few years, I just don't do this anymore. Talking to those three friends is not really an option anymore and I don't do it with anyone else, even though I have friends who i've known for much longer. Bottling everything up is now natural to me and it is actually really difficult for me to open up to anybody, even when the opportunity presents itself.

I think thats why I am the kind of person I am, and by that I mean when I know or sense someone has something on their mind, I push them to talk about it. Because thats the only way I ever talk to anyone about anything. I could have someone in my life who meant the world to me and whom I trusted with my life and it would still take me a long time to change my ways. I would need pushing and not everybody does that.

Welcome to adulthood. :(

I suppose this is going to sound extremely naive coming from a 30 year old woman, but I didn't realize this was as common a feeling as it is. It's nice to know I'm not broken! Or not alone in being broken. :p: I'm hoping Janszoon's wrong and it's not simply a part of becoming an adult though, lol. Realizing that we all grow apart from old friends as we get older...is it so wrong to expect new ones to take their place? Or maybe we're so closed off we can't make new friends. Hmmm...thoughts to ponder...

Being open with people is overrated. I have had the opposite experience, where I've gone from being bottled up to being open with people. All I have to show for it is a mess that nobody really wants to clean up, which is humiliating for me and alienates the people I know. I had more friends and felt better about my personality before I opened up to anybody. Now I'm working on clamming up again.

I think the general idea behind it is that most people, as they grow older, start families and/or careers and that results in a different focus and different priorities for their lives. Most people will still have friends after that, but are unable to dedicate the time and energy into a friendship like they could when they were younger, and that probably results in weaker connections between friends. Weaker connections usually don't foster the kind of trust that strong ones do, so it may feel like a sub-par friendship to many because they find themselves comparing it to friendships they've had when their entire lives were only about their friends and nothing else.

I wouldn't be right to say it's impossible to have very good, close friends as an adult with a family or what have you, I mean, I wouldn't even know personally.. I paused my life for 6 years in the Army and I'm just starting it back up as a sophomore in college. but I think it's generally observable that most people just eventually find themselves placing more importance in other things than friends. And that has to be some kind of indication of something.

I could also be talking out my ass. I'm definitely not qualified to speak as a family man.

In the future, I'll keep this in mind. I'm still pretty pissed, but I'm just going to let this go and not bother with either of them.

I'm not going to associate with her at all anymore, since she's turned into a insufferable megabitch. As for him, idgaf. Let him get screwed over, I don't care anymore. It's not my problem, I tried.

Been there, done that, seems like I'm going right back to the former.

Can't believe I'm the one to post in here again, but here goes:

I'd like to have the guts to ask my parents to go out more often. I can do it, but I need some time. I don't like asking for favours, I don't like feeling like a burden and I don't like begging. Fuck whatever this is, it's keeping me from living.

Bitch: much anticipated trip to new york got canceled last minute. but at least it's nice discussing ways in which the cancellation is similar to a shitty blowjob.

It really bites.

im sick and people are soooo ****ing irritating... :(