I used my mom's facial wipes to wash my makeup off. I was on my second wipe when I noticed that it said "personal clensing" on the label.

Thats right. I used doosh wipes on my face.

Meh, I discovered my Mom's sex toy stash once.

You'll never guess what I mistook as a strange balloon in the bathroom closet when I was a kid...

Once me and my friend were looking for my friend's dad's porn mags and we found pictures of his mom naked. I never looked at her the same again.

A colostomy bag?

I feel like my life as it is now could be a Michael Gira song... :(

:clap: One of my favorite Swans songs of all time. I'm sorry you're feeling bad.

Nope.

I was a kid, and when I brought it out to the parents (blowing it up and all cheery faced because I found a new toy) my dad started laughing and my mom, screaming, at the same time. They never told me what it was, but just that I couldn't put it in my mouth or play with it. Years later, I found out what it was...
A re-usable douche nozzle. (with douche bag attached)

I felt like such a douche.

Wow, that's far more hilarious than you finding a condom.