"kids these days..." (single, quote, band, Ching)

jibber · 05-13-2008, 01:05 AM

Every now and then I feel old. I'll be talking to girls I go to school with, who are only two years younger than me and just feel years ahead of them. It's not that they're SO imature, it's that all of them seem to be in such a rush to move into the "adult" phase of their life. Two girls in my class are 19 and have met the "love of their lives", certain they are going to be married. Call me cynical, call me bitter, but I refuse to believe that getting married that young is a good idea. One guy in my class was "engaged" to his girlfriend for years before they even turned 18. They split up halfway through the semester and he promptly dropped out. I'm always hearing people talk about how their new boyfriend of girlfriend is the "love of their life" and they're "meant to be together." All this after only knowing the person for three months. I've had food in my fridge longer than that. I'm sure I'll get a load of responses of couples they know who met at 18 and were married 2 months later, and still live happily together 25 years down the road. That's great, lucky them. But I don't know a single couple in my personal life who have not gotten divorced within their first year after marrying in circumstances like that. I've also noticed that the most imature people I know are the ones who try as hard as they can to place themselves in adult situations. Relationships are great when you're young, they're fun, but I see no reason to place youself in that serious of a situation when it has such a HUGE chance of failing. I see no point in giving up the one time in your life when it's ok to be completely and utterly selfish about what you want to rush into something that's probably going to fail anyway. I hear girls I know talk about quitting college early so they can get married, have kids, and then maybe finish their education when the kids are in school. I'm baffled by this. I can't imagine that that's how they want to spend their lives, that they don't have any goals or ambitions for themselves other than a family. Yes, this is incredibly biased and based only on my own personal views, but still, if this "love of their life" is really "meant for them", they'll still be meant for you when you're old enough to know what you want out of life. A good indication that you're way too young to get married is that your facebook status changes from "married" to "it's complicated" when you hit a rough patch. Updating your facebook profile should NOT be your first priority if you're trying to save a marriage. And yes, I actually witnessed someone doing this in the throes of divorce. When I was 12 I knew people who were already having sex. When I was 15 people were talking about how in love they were with their boyfriend/girlfriend of a whole month, when I was 18 people were getting married, and now at 21 those people have one divorce under their belts. Am I the only one who is content to milk my youth for all it's worth and not rush into this stuff? I can't help but be convinced that these people are going to look up one day at 25, with three kids, an ex husband and a mortgage, and think "why the hell didn't I wait?" Kids these days....

~~The Unfan~~ · 05-13-2008, 06:07 AM

Odd, I was just having a similar conversation with my mom. Out of all the people I used to hang out with there are two of us left who are trying to follow our ambitions. The rest (average age of around 20) settled down and are content with working 9-5 at Staples.

NSW · 05-13-2008, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jibber

I'm sure I'll get a load of responses of couples they know who met at 18 and were married 2 months later, and still live happily together 25 years down the road.

You may get some responses, but I don't think you'll get "loads". It happens, but it's just not that common anymore.

It sounds cliche, but I firmly believe that people shouldn't commit themselves to someone else until they feel comfortable with themselves and where they are personally, as individuals. How can people move forward in reaching goals as a couple when they don't even know what they want for themselves? And I'm sorry, anyone can argue this point with me, but while a teenager might have clearly defined ideas of what they want in life, more often than not those will change drastically once they hit their mid-20's at least. 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce (last I checked), but the odds for people who get married in their teens are even worse than that.

Seriously people, stay young as long as you can! Enjoy it while it lasts. Because while working and marriage and the "adult" life have their perks, they require so much more time and effort and are soooo much more complicated than just being a teenager.

And off my soapbox I hop...

WWWP · 05-13-2008, 08:48 PM

I hear ya, sister.
A cousin of mine met a girl in the town I live one summer, and they "fell in love."
They kept their "relationship" through the next school year when he went back to his hometown, and then he dropped out, got his GED, and moved back up here.
Her parents didn't want them dating because of the age difference, and then she had a pregnancy scare.
She of course spilled and told her parents.
They freaked out and it was this whole big situation, so instead of taking care of it, her and my cousin took the easy way out and got hitched instead!
She's still a junior in high school, and he's starting to realize how much he really didn't know her.
Oh, and she doesn't believe in divorce.
Cheers to ruining your life!!

sweet_nothing · 05-13-2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Cheers to ruining your life!!

i'll drink to that!

NSW · 05-13-2008, 08:52 PM

How old was she when they got married??? She's only a junior in high school??! Holy crap, talk about getting in over your head.

WWWP · 05-13-2008, 09:13 PM

They got married this year, so she was 17. He's 20.

NSW · 05-13-2008, 09:14 PM

Wow. When I was 17, the very LAST thing on my mind was getting married. I was still running around outside playing sports and thinking about going to the skating rink the next weekend.

That's just crazy.

WWWP · 05-13-2008, 09:20 PM

That's what I told him. Not to sound cliche, he could have gone places. He's a smart guy and it's sad to see him throw his life away. He'll never go to college, and now he's supporting his "family" working 45+ hours a week at a dead end job at a C-Store.

sweet_nothing · 05-13-2008, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

That's what I told him. Not to sound cliche, he could have gone places. He's a smart guy and it's sad to see him throw his life away. He'll never go to college, and now he's supporting his "family" working 45+ hours a week at a dead end job at a C-Store.

It's pretty typical these days

05-13-2008, 01:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople... Posts: 1,536	"kids these days..." Every now and then I feel old. I'll be talking to girls I go to school with, who are only two years younger than me and just feel years ahead of them. It's not that they're SO imature, it's that all of them seem to be in such a rush to move into the "adult" phase of their life. Two girls in my class are 19 and have met the "love of their lives", certain they are going to be married. Call me cynical, call me bitter, but I refuse to believe that getting married that young is a good idea. One guy in my class was "engaged" to his girlfriend for years before they even turned 18. They split up halfway through the semester and he promptly dropped out. I'm always hearing people talk about how their new boyfriend of girlfriend is the "love of their life" and they're "meant to be together." All this after only knowing the person for three months. I've had food in my fridge longer than that. I'm sure I'll get a load of responses of couples they know who met at 18 and were married 2 months later, and still live happily together 25 years down the road. That's great, lucky them. But I don't know a single couple in my personal life who have not gotten divorced within their first year after marrying in circumstances like that. I've also noticed that the most imature people I know are the ones who try as hard as they can to place themselves in adult situations. Relationships are great when you're young, they're fun, but I see no reason to place youself in that serious of a situation when it has such a HUGE chance of failing. I see no point in giving up the one time in your life when it's ok to be completely and utterly selfish about what you want to rush into something that's probably going to fail anyway. I hear girls I know talk about quitting college early so they can get married, have kids, and then maybe finish their education when the kids are in school. I'm baffled by this. I can't imagine that that's how they want to spend their lives, that they don't have any goals or ambitions for themselves other than a family. Yes, this is incredibly biased and based only on my own personal views, but still, if this "love of their life" is really "meant for them", they'll still be meant for you when you're old enough to know what you want out of life. A good indication that you're way too young to get married is that your facebook status changes from "married" to "it's complicated" when you hit a rough patch. Updating your facebook profile should NOT be your first priority if you're trying to save a marriage. And yes, I actually witnessed someone doing this in the throes of divorce. When I was 12 I knew people who were already having sex. When I was 15 people were talking about how in love they were with their boyfriend/girlfriend of a whole month, when I was 18 people were getting married, and now at 21 those people have one divorce under their belts. Am I the only one who is content to milk my youth for all it's worth and not rush into this stuff? I can't help but be convinced that these people are going to look up one day at 25, with three kids, an ex husband and a mortgage, and think "why the hell didn't I wait?" Kids these days.... __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

05-13-2008, 08:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
NSW Bigger and Better Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Texas girl living in the UK Posts: 2,596	How old was she when they got married??? She's only a junior in high school??! Holy crap, talk about getting in over your head. __________________ Hi.

05-13-2008, 09:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
NSW Bigger and Better Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Texas girl living in the UK Posts: 2,596	Wow. When I was 17, the very LAST thing on my mind was getting married. I was still running around outside playing sports and thinking about going to the skating rink the next weekend. That's just crazy. __________________ Hi.

05-13-2008, 06:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
~~The Unfan~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Methville Posts: 2,116	Odd, I was just having a similar conversation with my mom. Out of all the people I used to hang out with there are two of us left who are trying to follow our ambitions. The rest (average age of around 20) settled down and are content with working 9-5 at Staples.