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jibber 10-31-2004 01:58 AM

gotta love the radical christians
 
**found in a christian news letter**

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, andviolence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: 'I'm so gothic, I'm dead', 'woe is me', 'I'm a goth'.
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

SwitchFootRocks! 10-31-2004 07:37 AM

are you seriouse i do about 2/3 of these things it dosnt need i need medical or mentatl attention. i think that all churches are scary as hell. i dont really belive anything they talk about.

IamAlejo 10-31-2004 07:56 AM

Quote:

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
The best one by far.

SwitchFootRocks! 10-31-2004 08:17 AM

im sorry but this thread is retarted

David Frost 10-31-2004 08:24 AM

its alot better than most threads on this board.

SwitchFootRocks! 10-31-2004 08:26 AM

no its not. (just my opinion)

Pimp_racer 10-31-2004 10:23 AM

i think it is. it made me laugh at least

Han 10-31-2004 11:05 AM

This is great. It made me laugh so much when i read it. As I believe God and everything I think it is really extreme, like frequently wears black clothing and wears black nail polish leading children in ways of the devil.What a load of ****. what christian newsletter was this!?

franscar 10-31-2004 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jibber
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Masturbates

Surely these two are linked for EVERY teenager? And if not, then why not dammit?

jibber 10-31-2004 04:41 PM

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

god forbid we try to expand our knowledge of the world. and I have no clue what newslestter this is from, but it is perfectly authentic, and funny as hell.


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