A woman is standing in front of a mirror and says to her husband, "Honey, I feel fat give me a compliment." And he says..."Bitch, u got perfect vision."

Old joke;

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plough?


Give the bitch a shovel!

Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.
Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Earl continues, slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You'd better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find."

That last one is funny. =P

Why do women go to the toilet in pairs?

.. One sits down on the loo, then the other one squeezes her head.

HAHAHA. I've heard that before.

But for some reason it was funnier this time. =P