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Things that make me want to headbutt everything
1: The Vintage Trend http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...lexa-chung.jpg Here is Alexa Chung. Alexa Chung is an idiot, one of the numbnuts that Nathan Barley would probably feature in sugaRAPE magazine. She's relatively well spoken, about as charismatic as a plank of wood but she wears delightful shades of grey and brown so therefore we must put her on the telly. The Vintage Trend is just ridiculous. It's not even the choice of battered clothing that makes it so completely hateable, but the pretentious attitude that comes along with it when these girls throw on their nans scalf. I can't stand the better than thou attitude, the fact that all these teens were 'scene kids' about a year ago and that they give off the impression that they may have a good taste in music, when in fact they just listen to the same old **** that everyone else does. Bin them. |
I have a feeling this list might actually entertain me.
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I think we all know why she's on telly...
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she looks like a combination of about 4 of my ex-girlfriends.
they were all pricks. |
Never heard of her but she looks the typical middle class English girl that bore me senseless.
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2: Tip-Toeing around Racism http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...iwog-truck.jpg Racism happens and it's our there and it's widely acknowledged, but it seems to be dealt with using this simple calculation; white man have problem + black/asian man have problem = white man racist. Now I know that isn't factual and in no way does that apply to everything, and I know that white people cause a LOT of racism, because everybody can behave like a neanderthal at times. I'm also sure that a lot of other MB users will have stories to tell that will also completely contradict what I have just said. However, from my experience, I have found it hard to not think racist thoughts a lot of the time. Deep down inside I know that people should never be judged by the colour of their skin, but I think that society handles each race so differently to each other that it's very easy to stereotype everyone. In the college I go to, there are a lot of asian students and they cause a very large amount of trouble. Only a couple of months back, because of the trouble going on in the middle east, the pakistanis and the sikhs began gang fighting each other in the park, which is the route you have to take to get out of the college. Now I know a lot of white people were saying violentally racist things after this, and I have to admit I was also a culprit. The gang-fights began because of racism going on in another part of the world, but for them to bring it here? It's just using any excuse to cause trouble. Now police have to walk around the park 24/7 and what was once a scenic route now looks like a police escort. The school have employed an ID card rule now where if you do not show your card at the gate you will be sent home. However, I turned up to college about a month ago just behind a pakistani lad in the queue, and he was somehow allowed to enter without his card by simply signing in, whilst I had forgotten my card and was sent home... I just wish that society wasn't the way it was, and that it was far easier to judge everyone in the same way. |
My mother collects those dolls.
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Cool another "Things I hate Thread...." I was just thinking we need more.
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And no boobs... |
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3: People On The Internet
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Yes lets share, so let me post my opinions too.
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4: James ****ing Corden Now, I don't necessarily hate James Corden. He seems like a nice and likeable fella and whatever, and Gavin and Stacey was quite good. However, he's just EVERYWHERE. I turn on Nevermind The Buzz****s, he's there, glance towards x factor, there again, comedy awards - up on the stage accepting an award, film awards, accepting keira knightleys award, big quiz of the year, there he is again. Now he's very lovely and round but he's just not funny enough to warrant this amount of air time. At best he is an above average comedian who has quite a silly laugh. I don't hate you, James but chill out for a bit. |
5: Unnecessary Doors http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...lving_Door.jpg There are a set of double doors in my college that completely defy any logic or reasoning. They swing backwards and forwards, like doors you see in the kitchen of a restaurant. They are also very big doors that, if hit full force with one, would send you flying through one of the opposing windows. I have been hit with these doors seven times and counting, and once i have had my leg stuck between both of them. It is completely ridiculous that doors in such a frequently used part of the college would be so heavy yet so agile - like a camoflauged elephant. Another example of this would be revolving doors, shown in the photo. The amount of times I get stuck in these because of ridiculous children jamming them shut just to piss EVERYONE off. Seriously. There's one in my local shopping centre that is ALWAYS broken because of this, and what makes it even more unnecessary is the fact that because the revolving doors are disabled so much, they have built two regular doors either side of it. |
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I've seen so many other students battered by those swinging doors, though. It's the most hilarious thing ever when you're not on the receiving end - it's a double edged sword
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It slows the doors down, and smacks them in their face. :) |
good stuff, i particularly like the thinly-veiled british xenophobia (we do it so well don't we) and the Alexa chung moan. She's sh*t, and she goes out with the skinny schoolboy from Arctic Moon-kehs. Like we really needed a 'scene' Simon Amstell.
Brilliant. I am all for London suicide bombings as long as they all take place in or around the Old Blue Last. And while we're on a hatred vibe (again), James Corden should be shot. NOT FUNNY. His co-star in the unequivocally average Gavin & Stacey is in Saxondale however, which is the best British comedy for years. Now back to the music |
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6: People That Write In Complaints http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...ughterjpg2.jpg Who on earth would ever want to shatter the wholesome reputation of the lovely Georgina Bailie (pictured)? I ask you, WHO?! Well, those two little urchins Brand and Ross, I tell you. Unless you've been hiding under a rock these past few months, you'll have heard of the confrontation between the silly haired duo and Manuel, sorry, Andrew Sachs. It was more important than the war and the economy crisis and everything. Yes, how dare they foul the wonderful career of one quarter of the Satanic Sluts? How dare they launch her into the public domain, practically forcing her to undress for modelling shoots in the Daily Star? Who do they think they are to bring such distress into the lives of the 4 people that complained whilst the show was on the air, and then the other 4 million that complained after reading about it in the next days paper? This could only bring me to draw up comparisons between other such full scale comedic assaults on our right to remain completely oblivious to everything bad that is happening in the world. Brass Eye's Paedogeddon, for instance. South Park belittling Scientology and making the story of Xenu (Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including Earth, which was then known as "Teegeeack". The planets were overpopulated, each having an average population of 178 billion. The Galactic Confederacy's civilization was comparable to our own, with aliens "walking around in clothes which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute" and using cars, trains and boats looking exactly the same as those "circa 1950, 1960" on Earth. Xenu was about to be deposed from power, so he devised a plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. With the assistance of psychiatrists, he summoned billions of his citizens together under the pretense of income tax inspections, then paralyzed them and froze them in a mixture of alcohol and glycol to capture their souls. The kidnapped populace was loaded into spacecraft for transport to the site of extermination, the planet of Teegeeack (Earth). The appearance of these spacecraft would later be subconsciously expressed in the design of the Douglas DC-8, the only difference being: "the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn't." When they had reached Teegeeack/Earth, the paralyzed citizens were unloaded around the bases of volcanoes across the planet.Hydrogen bombs were then lowered into the volcanoes and detonated simultaneously. Only a few aliens' physical bodies survived. The now-disembodied victims' souls, which Hubbard called thetans, were blown into the air by the blast. They were captured by Xenu's forces using an "electronic ribbon" ("which also was a type of standing wave") and sucked into "vacuum zones" around the world. The hundreds of billions of captured thetans were taken to a type of cinema, where they were forced to watch a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for thirty-six days. This implanted what Hubbard termed "various misleading data"' (collectively termed the R6 implant) into the memories of the hapless thetans, "which has to do with God, the Devil, space opera, et cetera". This included all world religions, with Hubbard specifically attributing Roman Catholicism and the image of the Crucifixion to the influence of Xenu. The two "implant stations" cited by Hubbard were said to have been located on Hawaii and Las Palmas in the Canary Islands. In addition to implanting new beliefs in the thetans, the images deprived them of their sense of personal identity. When the thetans left the projection areas, they started to cluster together in groups of a few thousand, having lost the ability to differentiate between each other. Each cluster of thetans gathered into one of the few remaining bodies that survived the explosion. These became what are known as body thetans, which are said to be still clinging to and adversely affecting everyone except those Scientologists who have performed the necessary steps to remove them. A government faction known as the Loyal Officers finally overthrew Xenu and his renegades, and locked him away in a mountain, where he was imprisoned forever by a force field powered by an eternal battery. Although the location of Xenu is sometimes said to be the Pyrenees on Earth, this is actually the location Hubbard gave elsewhere for an ancient "Martian report station". Teegeeack/Earth was subsequently abandoned by the Galactic Confederacy and remains a pariah "prison planet" to this day, although it has suffered repeatedly from incursions by alien "Invader Forces" since that time.) seem positively ludicrous. And what about Frankie Boyle commenting on the Queen being so old that her vagina is haunted? Do these comedians have no shame? Yes, when looking at the statistics for the complaints made over the Ross 'n' Brand scandal, one thing was made completely clear. People have way too much time on their hands. |
One thing i've always maintained is that people LIKE to be offended, and go looking for it.
I have too much time on my hands but not that much time i'm afraid. |
Have you ever seen the Paedogeddon Brass Eye special? Seriously, it's one of the funniest things I've witnessed, just because whilst watching it I was thinking of all the old people that were petitioning against it right at that moment.
And here's a little anecdote - my nan complained to the 24 hour house makeover program hosted by Carol Smiley, arguing with them that they possibly couldn't makeover a house in 24 hours. Most useless complaint ever made? Yes. |
I've only ever seen bits and pieces of Brass Eye sadly and i should really change that.
You mentioned South Park though and anyone who gets riled up by that needs a wake up call. Didn't Gregory Isaacs leave the show because of that Scientology episode? Sad really. |
Isaac Hayes? Gregory Isaacs never worked for South Park...
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7: Braving The Ice... http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s143/paulta/snow.jpg ...in winklepickers. http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...klepickers.jpg For some unholy reason I disposed of every trainer/plimsoll like item i ever owned. anything that was not on the 'shoe' side of the footwear spectrum no longer belongs in my wardrobe. When I'm embracing the nightlife, I look like the belle of the ball with my expensive collection of leather winklepickers. However, now that england seems to be covered in a permanent sheet of ice, I regret making such a ridiculous fashion decision and instead want to root out my old battered gola trainers that would get me bullied in P.E. lessons. I find myself making outrageously conservative steps on my 30 minute trip to college, looking like I have **** myself by raising my legs in the air like an ostrich. So far, I have been late to college everyday for the past 2 weeks because even the kid with the dodgy limp and the mullet overtakes me. I've even heard him snicker whilst doing so. |
8: Remembering what is best to forget such as the time where i got really drunk at a party and got a handjob off a random girl and told her that i loved her during ejaculation. such as the time where i called my current girlfriend my ex-girlfriends name the very first time that i told her loved her. such as the time where i tore a hole in the crotch of my trousers at school and spent a day walking around like it. such as the time where i got really drunk and sent a text message to the girl that i liked containing just the words 'your hair smells lovely'. when i woke up the next day, i felt a surge of relief knowing that the girl didn't have my number. however, checking the outbox in my phone, i found out that i had included my name and a winking face at the bottom of the text. she never replied. such as the time where i had a house party and rode my bin like a horse such as the time TWO WEEKS AGO, where in an attempt to impress my girlfriends attractive friends, i felt it appropriate to try and start a fight on every male in the club. instead, they all left me in there alone. including my girlfriend. such as the time where i farted in geography and couldnt stop laughing about it so i was sent out the classroom. such as the time where i tried to swagger past my girlfriends ex-boyfriend, thinking it was a gracious attempt at me showing him how much cooler i was, but then falling over onto my arse. |
How does your girlfriend put up with you?
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it's a mystery
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Best New Poster since Hookers with Machine Guns scared them all off.
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9: Paypal and, to a lesser extent, ebay. http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...lta/Paypal.jpg Okay, so. About 2 months back now I repeatedly tried to sell my xbox 360 over ebay. THREE sellers in a row turned out to be frauds, and their accounts terminated, but of course it would have been extremely petty for me to claim the money back that I had paid ebay to put the item up for auction in the first place. I just wanted to sell my console. So, eventually, I sold my xbox to a customer who seemed legit. After a few setbacks, I informed him that I would be posting the Xbox to him a few days later than expected. So, I did so, and he sent an email to me when it had arrived claiming that the xbox was broken and that he was going to send it back to me. I said to him how no way was the Xbox broken when I sent it to him, but still received the xbox back anyway to check on it, as the 'customer is always right' etc. Needless to say, the 360 was in full working condition just like I had presumed, so I told the customer that I felt it unfair that I would have to now give a refund after all of this, and that as the seller, surely I should at least have SOME rights. Needless to say, I didn't have any rights whatsoever. Paypal gave a date for the case to be settled upon, and if it wasn't settled by then, it would intervene. As I was given no options other than clicking 'yes' or 'no' to 'has your item has been returned', and after already explaining in the open case form how I felt this whole scenario was completely unfair, I decided that I'd have to sit it out and WAIT for paypal to intervene. After waiting a good few weeks, and having absolutely nothing happen other than seeing the words 'case pending' on my paypal account, I signed in a couple of days ago to notice that the money had been taken out. No explanation given. And, just to piss me off that little bit extra, I now had an outstanding fee of 4.68 owed to paypal. But it gets better. I'm now attempting to buy evil dead 2 for 5 pound from ebay. But I can't do it. Why? Because it says I need to resolve the balance I owe to Paypal. However, when I click on the red link saying 'restore your balance' on my account overview, it takes me to a page that contains the words 'oops... you have an outstanding balance owed to Paypal. To resolve this issue click on the red link saying 'Restore your balance'. So now I'm going backwards and forwards, unable to actually restore my balance because it continuously sends me to the same two ****ing webpages, neither of which are helpful whatsoever. I ****ing hate Paypal. |
10: What Skins Has Done. http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s.../tonyskins.jpg By the sounds of it, I might be the only British teenager on this forum... therefore I might be talking to a brick wall with this whole rant. But seriously. It annoys the **** out of me. For the uninformed, Skins is one of those gritty Channel 4 dramas, one that is based around what I'd like to call a 'Hyper-Real' group of teenage lives. I call it Hyper-Real because the situation these teenagers get involved in are completely exagerrated (see a party going on under a manhole cover, a girl literally RUNNING her way to New York) yet the characters involved still have elements to them that are relatable. Unfortunately, as the shows Hyper-Real (I am going to keep using this word) lifestyle actually seems relatively appealing, since the show aired, many teenagers seemed to have jumped over backwards to make their lives as viciously entertaining as the ones seen on screen. Back when the first series was just airing I was 16, and EVERYONE wanted a Skins party. People would even start calling themselves Skins if something particularly reckless/ridiculous had happened. I saw many a myspace photo with a group of people lazing over one another, glowsticks around their necks, with caption reading something along the lines of 'OMG me n *insert ridiculous nickname here* r SOOOOOOO skins'. Silly fools. Silly, ignorant fools. Unfortunately, I seemed to fit into this trend without even realising it, as I was a particularly keen party goer and my commitment to this cause meant that my friends would label me as 'trying hard to be Skins'. I don't know at what point the lines blurred between wanting to get drunk, and wanting to be part of a television show. Now, though, I am at the age where everyone realises how silly this all was and everyone has given up. Unfortunately for me, I have joined a new college, and as such I am in the year below. Which means everyone is 16 in my classes. And the third series of Skins is now broadcasting. Oh, the ****ing pain. |
Oh man, do I ever hate Skins. One of the most retarded shows and trends ever.
On the racist issue, the problem now is, it's gotten to the point where minorites get what they want because if they don't come out as the "winner" of a situation, they'll just call you a racist and everyone will look at you like you're a piece of ****. There was a situation here about a year ago where an Indian man was pulled over and ticketed because he wasn't wearing a helmet while riding his motorcycle, which is the law here, because he wears a turban. He said that the officers were discriminating against him. I just shook my head in disgust. I mean, discrimination? This idiot was pleading for the country to allow Indian men to wear their turbans while riding their motorcycles and not helmets while all other races had to wear helmets. It just gets that ridiculous. Not sure what ended up happening with that case but what a complete joke. You get caught breaking the law so people are discriminating against you? Get the hell out of here with that BS. If you don't like the law here, leave. It's really that simple. I am in an interracial relationship so I have seen the lame attitudes of white people and how easy it is to throw out racist comments but it gets completely stupid when a minority can easily pull the race card out of their pocket whenever they want to get their way. They want racism to go away yet they can't even let it go. |
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11: Rich Girls 'Mingling' Rich girls are, according to modern definition, everything that is wrong with the world. This is an unavoidably sexist claim but one that does not go without it's fair share of factual evidence. Switch on MTV and chances are you shall find your typical tribe of upper-class, bubble-headed nonces doing typically upper-class, bubble headed noncish things for your viewing entertainment. My Super Sweet 16 is a prime example of this - it clearly takes delight in how hateable these girls are, and by the end of one thirty minute programme it makes me so pent up with anger that I feel like becoming a Robin Hood of sorts, except I wouldn't be stealing their belongings and giving it to the poor, I'd be breaking into their LA mansions, shitting on their obnoxious twattish faces and spunking all over their best cutlery. This obsession with stuffing our television full of people that we absolutely loathe to watch (yet continue to do so) doesn't end there. We have The Hills, Laguna Beach, The OC. A massive collection of wank made by wankers and starring wankers. So then, aside from watching them all pollute what are supposedly my music channels day in and day out, what else do I hate about rich girls? Well, you see, it's all relatively harmless when they appear on my television. At the end of the day, I can always change channels or simply switch the television off. But when these girls invade my otherwise common and penniless life? That's when the shit really hits the fan. A house party I attended last weekend was sadly invaded by two girls who were so far up their own backsides that they had became detached from all reality, and thought themselves to be the life and soul of the aforementioned party. The fact that they hopelessly sat in the kitchen all night, making dreadfully unsubtle sarcastic remarks about anyone that crossed their paths only served to show how remarkably un-self-aware they actually were. My frustration was only enhanced when one of my friends felt it appropriate to kiss one of the gruesome twosome, therefore confirming to both of them that they could get whatever they wanted. And what happened when her friend wanted to go home? She cried because she had spent all of her money on ridiculously overpriced alcohol for herself and it looked as though she was going to have to get the bus home. Get used to public transport, fuckface, there are no chaffeurs in hell. P.S. A hard-hitting and hilarious segment about the pitfalls of 'aspirational tv' was done by Charlie Brooker - if my rant resembles his views on the matter, this is only because what he said literally took the words right out of my mouth and he was 100% accurate. |
12: Self-Assembly I remember the good old days where you bought things and they arrived looking exactly the same as how you saw them in the catalogue/shop. I've recently had to refurnish my bedroom and all the furniture in the Next catalogue that looked at least half decent was self assembly, whilst all the shitty furniture was pre-prepared. Why? Why not have everything pre-prepared? It feels like the manufacturers are laughing at you as you attempt to make sense of the brief assembly manual that comes with every purchase. Whatever way I look at it, I have been conned out of my money. I have been sent what are basically a few pieces of nice looking wood in a box along with a few nails, and now I'm all on my own with what to do with it. And that's not even the best of it. I set up my new computer desk late night, which surprisingly wasn't as hard to figure out as some of the other items I've had to deal with (I'm looking at you, wardrobe). And after I sat back admiring my handiwork, I noticed that there was still one more instruction left - getting the desk fitted to the wall. Included in the box was a couple of straps in a bag and some washers, but no fucking screws. That's right. They had literally gave me a bag full of everything to attach this piece of shit to the wall, bar the screws. So now, until I can get to a DIY shop and get these screws, I have a computer desk sitting in the corner of my room that is literally on the verge of breakdown. It wouldn't bother me that much, I mean, a trip to a DIY store is hardly a massive ballbreaker, but it's the fact I paid so much for something that I had to do all the hard work for and doesn't even come with all the requirements for me to properly use the fucking thing. If there's one thing that people love to do, it's buying stuff. It should require minimal effort to go to a shop and just get new stuff. It's a brief and fleeting pleasure in a consumers otherwise tiresome life. We work hard to spend our money easily. So why the fuck are shops making the experience increasingly difficult? |
Lol i sell a lot of flat-pack furniture and stuff :D most customers seem to have no problem with assembling the furniture themselves but there's always that 10% that kick up a fuss and want the already assembled display models. I always charge them €10 extra for the display model and they have no problem paying up as long as it's assembled. I could put a new display model together in my sleep anyway by this stage.
The main reason for the existance of flat-packed furniture is portability. You can just walk into a shop, pick out the items you want and fit them into your car with no problems and assemble them when you go home, instead of tying a computer desk and a bedside table to the roof of your car and driving home. Most flat-packed furniture are sh!t quality anyway lol :D |
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