Because I'm a f*cking idiot who doesn't know when to cut his losses and realize when he's been beat.

I don't know man. I love her to death. I always hold on to a shred of faith that things will go back to the way they were before :\

It's like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

I think maybe you love the "idea" of her (and what she used to be), rather than her. I mean, if she is your total love after all the craziness, then you love some pretty f*cked up sh*t. If that's what you wanna attenuate, then by all means, you'll be pretty experienced at figuring out how to end up where you are now.
But if you'd rather not, maybe you should stop idealizing her in the past tense and just move on, unless you love hanging on to the past and being repeatedly hurt, in which case, you're perfectly good to go!

No, you're completely right. It's just really hard. Trying to get over her and re-define myself at the same time. It's easier said than done :\

The key is to masturbate more often.

As long as you realize you're not getting over "her", but the idea of "her" that you have in your mind, then you're better off than you were before.
Because then you know that you actually have control over it.
And then it's just a matter of taking control.
Of yourself.
Easy in theory, harder in practice, but practice can't happen without the theory.

Or just screw her brains out, slap her across the face & tell her to get out.

Or that.
But we're talking about Oojay. So there must be some level of maxi-pads to the situation.

I don't mind red wings if that's what you're getting at?

Pics or it didn't happen.

Don't write checks your ass(or eyes) can't cash now ;)