What Mischief Do You Get Up To At Work?
 

Sorry to bring the 'w' word up, but Im interested to hear what you people get up to at work. I work at a petrol station and have some pretty funny stories involving the misuse of tanoies & general explotation of gullable customers, but I will tell later...Im tired just now.

working in a sheetmetal shop can be lots of fun. let's see...

1) putting ketchup/mustard packs under the dogs of the shear, so that people get squirted.

2) putting metal shavings in someone's hoodie when they walk by.

3) greasing the clamping arm handles on the brake.

4) screwing peoples toolboxes to the bench

5) tying someone's shoes together when they are hungover and try to sleep during 10 o'clock break.

on my crew, the fun never ends, as long as nobody cries to the supervisor.
one time a guy got revenge on me by shrink wrapping my car. he knew i was staying late that day, and i ended up walking out of the building without a knife. i spent 20 minutes hacking through the plastic with a house key.
i bought him lunch the next day for being creative.

Besides bucketing people in the summer time at the lumberyard I worked at I had a tendency to get the forks flat on the ground with my forklift and try to "split" somebodies foot by getting the fork underneath it and lifting their leg up. Always at extremely low speeds of course, it was a good deterrent for the runners to not stand around out of camera range, for me it was different, I had a forklift so I wasn't technically standing around, I was sitting around.

I think collecting taxpayer money while spending most of my day posting and browsing MB is enough.

Haha thats hilarious, I used to work in a warehouse & once we shrink wrapped the saturday boy :D.
Also once I was mucking about throwing a brush back and forward & he threw it perfectley so I tripped on it and cracked my back on a concrete floor. Had to lie across a pallet for about 10 mins to recover lol.

Also wheelspinning the forklift in winter was always a good laugh.

Yeah I did this once, also sometmes someone would stand on the forks and get lifted right up to the top to get something & once I left him up there & went and had my 10 minute break lol.

Haha... that was my mischief too when I was in the military.

Although, I did do some crazy shit.
I used to work in the TCF (tech control facility.. We provided internet access to the entire camp) on my first deployment in 04', and I had access to the Websense server. So, for money, I would put people's IP addresses (we used static IP's at the time) in the exceptions on Websense and they could surf any site they wanted. I usually charged a small 20 dollars a month per person.
Eventually DISA started snooping around in our shit, so I got skurred and took everyone out.
But I made almost 1,500 off it. :D

I used to work at a Denny's because it was the only place in town where you could wait tables as a minor. The cooks and I used to spend time pranking each other... I super glued someone's hat to the toaster, for that I got sprayed with syrup and had flour dumped on me. That led to me airing a private phone conversation between one of them and their gf across the whole dining room. And from then on everytime I passed the kitchen I had sausage links thrown at me. Ahh ... good times.
Now I work at home from the computer and the best stuff I get into is on MB.

I made $60,000 on MB before it was firewalled :D

reminds me of a fight i saw once. one guy put glue on another guys...i don't know what you call them but they look like headphones, and guys wear them at a shooting range. anyhow the dude didn't see the glue on the pad part and stuck them on his head. that part was pretty funny. but then there was a fistfight, and it became waaayyy funnier

Making velveeta stick to the ceiling was fun, and so was making a dry ice bomb in the produce back room.

I move around the sound equipment.
Mess with the EQ before we practice.
ate 30 year old ice cream (not even a stomach ache).
Annoyed Dan a lot.
Write weird messages on the marker boards.
I'll come up with some more...

When my friend david had to babysit one of those shcool-fake babies for Missy, he stuck it in the chest where we put the pillows (it took her half-an-hour to find it, it didn't even cry)

i got a boring job i guess.. sit at a desk and mess around with networks and ip's and code all day.

oh and mostly surf the internetz.

I get on Musicbanter and facebook constantly. But all I really do is sit at home and answer emails and make phone calls.

I've been known to occasionally kick metal stools around when I get in a bad mood.

A guy I work with went one further, fed up of having to listen to this really annoying mouthy cunt we work with talk shit constantly all day, he picked one up & launched it at this guy's head. Sadly he wasn't badly injured.

Do you work in a southern bar or something?

No , it's a sort of office / dispatch area.

They dispatch metal stools into douchebag heads.
I want to apply.

Seconded. I'm counting on you getting me this job, Urban.

You could start your own franchise.
:D

Now theres an idea! America certainly has no shortage of metal stools or douchebag heads.

One of the lads brought in a sample of fish tank water because his fish were dying, to take to the local pet shop for analysis...that got pissed in.

Last summer we used to play football in our dinner break and one of the lads regularly used an atomiser/spray container filled with water to cool himself down afterwards...that got pissed in.

Car owners have been known to drive home with custom made reg plates made by some of the lads off the shop floor in the past...TWAT1/WANKER5 and A.C.A.B. are among some of the favourites.

Flicking chocolate moose all over the works toilet seat (for that authentic bottom explosion effect) along with an added handprint on the inside of the toilet door is a firm favourite when someone new starts.

Right its about time I posted in this thread, had been meaning to put these to video for a while. Basically I made some recordings of me noising up customers at work and generally just being a clown. I used to work with a guy who used to participate also but hes since moved on.

I recorded this on my phone to play on the tanoi when people pul into the forecourt/get out their cars etc (after getting sick of saying it all the time):
I like to use random accents when addressing customers (mostly the ones I dont know), I know it sounds nothing like borat but that was all I could think of. :laughing:


Heres the proof, I added some pics to spice it up a bit.


Now someone told me about this Sweding Process thing they had seen people do in a shop in some movie(before you all rip into me with what movie its from), so I thought Id try it out on some poor gullable bloke who only wanted a Double Decker.


Some people are on happy pills:


Neil is the guy who 'works' at the car wash next door, I like to play this on the tanoi when hes on his way down for £50 worth of scratchcards.


I sometimes play this on the tanoi when people are leaving:

Haha some of these are hilarious...

I work at a school so I don't get up to any mischief. The kids do though.

Well it would be a bit ironic if you joined in with them though lol
Ive got some more recordings(including sweeding the guy another 3 times) but cant be arsed putting them to video right now.
Well I got very bored on the nightshift about a week ago so decided to decorate a couple of things...

So your a 'cool' teacher then? :laughing:.

i once worked as a draftsman for a mechanical contractor. apparently someone was annoyed at all the safety regs there. they posted a sign that read:

ATTENTION:
All turds longer than 5.75" and having a circumfrence greater than 3.387"
and or a weight of more than 60 grams must be lowered into the bowl manually to avoid chemical splash-back according to OSHA code 714 article 12, section 2. Anyone dispensing material into this receptacle must make available the appropriate MSDS for each substance.
Remember, safety is everyones business!!!

it's not exact, but that's as close as memory allows after 10 years of not working there

That's hillarious!

I sometimes answer the phones with a british accent.. heh.

Hey! That's a good, but risky idea. Ive never done it on answering the phone. For instance if its the tanker driver, and I act english on the phone , then I therefore have to act english when he arrives & most of them know me so they would know I was taking the piss. Also, some of them are english lol.
Thats the hardest thing is when you decide to be english but then a queue forms and you have to keep it up (without laughing) for the rest of them...
I need to amuse myself at work and having Neil Young or whatever music Im listening to blaring simply isnt enough lol.

EDIT: What do you make of the pictures. I like to clean the toilet i.e. mop the floor and kid on I cleaned it lol. I dont do nightshift all the time so I can get away with it nae bother.

Once when I was out with friends I decided to put on a British accent for the entire night. People were asking me how long I'd been in Australia and stuff. I even scored free drinks as a welcome into Australia!

Before I became a forklift driver at the last lumberyard I worked at I was training a new worker on what the product is and where it is in the yard. However I feeling like a prick and decided to teach him the wrong pronunciations of certain types of wood. For example OSB (a particle board cheap plywood) became pronounced Au-sb and G1S (good 1 side, one side of the plywood has been sanded and finished) became jizz, MDO (a thin smooth surface has been put on one side of the plywood) became Mm-D'oh, and MDF (Compressed particle board, but much nicer quality than OSB, usually used for cabinets and desks) became Mm-Def. It was hilarious when he went on the radio asking if an available forklift could restock the 3/4 jizz plywood. Our boss actually got onto the radio and asked him what he called it and why he was being such an idiot. They never let me teach again :(

Haha evil jokes are the funniest. I used to actually work in a small warehouse which was part of a horse food shop before my current job. There was a certain kind of bird feed where it was stored up high and for quickness, instead of using the 100 year old ladder, one of us would stand on the forks to get the bag and then chuck it down onto the other bags.
Once, it was around break time and I decided to put my colleague right up way past the bird food to the roof of the warehouse and go and have my 15 minute coffee break. It was so difficult not to laugh when they were asking, where the fuck is Craig and I just said "He's just finishing off an order, hell be through in a minute". Eventually the other guy who did the deliveries went out to investigate and he had only been stuck there for five minutes lol. Still, must have been a long five minutes.

Not so much any more.

But I used to work as a pool boy. That means I had keys to a few beach houses, so needless to say, when my girlfriend at the time would meet me for lunch sometimes, there would be some serious ****in' going on... which I was getting paid $8.50 an hour for.

Guess that's better than the daughters and housewives...

And husbands.

:eek: Not exactly what pool boy are known for. But I guess it could happen.

Not what they're known for? Are you kidding? Try googling "pool boys" with the SafeSearch off and see what you come up with.

I'm at work right now browsing the internet for a new job.

We often get bored at work so we raid the wrecks for any undentonated airbags and see what we can launch with them.

Failing that we have demolition derbys in the yard.....many visits from the local constabulary have ensued

ha, i feel so lame... i work at a library... and theres really nothing to get up to...

except putting books on shelves backwards =P

anyone got any good ideas? xD

Your avatar along with this comment is rather unnerving.. in a kind of hilarious way.