Worst book you've ever read

MAStudent · 08-23-2010, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boardsofcanada

anti-climatic

= only a semi?

mr dave · 08-23-2010, 01:10 AM

the worst book i ever tried reading (up to 4 attempts now) is Generation X by Douglas Copeland.

i've never been able to read it for more than about 2-3 chapters. for something that was supposed to represent the generation coming of age in the 90s i think it failed horribly, i didn't relate to any of the characters. if anything i wanted to stab them in their entitled idealistic faces by the end of the first chapter.

maybe it picks up, maybe it twists around, my roommate tells me it doesn't, it's just the story of those d-bags and their (oh so below them) mcjobs. hell these characters reek of the same type of people that lived beyond their means until not too long ago and helped the economy crap all over itself.

generation defining my a$$.

LoathsomePete · 08-23-2010, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr dave

the worst book i ever tried reading (up to 4 attempts now) is Generation X by Douglas Copeland.

i've never been able to read it for more than about 2-3 chapters. for something that was supposed to represent the generation coming of age in the 90s i think it failed horribly, i didn't relate to any of the characters. if anything i wanted to stab them in their entitled idealistic faces by the end of the first chapter.

maybe it picks up, maybe it twists around, my roommate tells me it doesn't, it's just the story of those d-bags and their (oh so below them) mcjobs. hell these characters reek of the same type of people that lived beyond their means until not too long ago and helped the economy crap all over itself.

generation defining my a$$.

Everything by Copeland that I've read I've hated. While I don't have the same connection to Generation X as you, I am a Vancouver native and I really dislike the way he tries to describe Vancouver and its residents.

mr dave · 08-23-2010, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

Everything by Copeland that I've read I've hated. While I don't have the same connection to Generation X as you, I am a Vancouver native and I really dislike the way he tries to describe Vancouver and its residents.

i never got to any part where they left 'heavenly' southern california. speaking of Vancouverites, you read much William Gibson (not a man that deserves to be in this thread). i get a kick out of any Canadian reference he makes in his later books. i think it was in 'Pattern Recognition' where he referred to Quebec as the first virtual country, had me laughing in my chair hehehe.

Davey Moore · 08-30-2010, 11:00 PM

I feel like people here haven't read enough terrible books, if supposed classics are on your list. I mean, there's an entire LEGION of ****ty, terrible literature. Robert Stanek is a great example, a self-published fantasy author who conned his way onto Amazon and literary conventions, with an entire forum populated by him, where he posts under hundreds of aliases. Look at his genius prose:

Quote:

The horse beneath her, confused by the mixture of opposing signs given it, reared upward. To regain a tight grip on the reins, Adrina twisted the leathers in her hands. This again sent misleading signals to the confounded and uneasy animal beneath her. It reared again.

A second pull on the reins caused the mare to shift sideways as it landed. The steed stumbled, and then faltered as it lost its balance on the uneven roadside. Adrina's tumultuous, wanton eyes spun around as horse and rider tumbled.

No longer a participant, Adrina became an observer. The torchlight seemed to dance around in circles before her as she felt herself falling to the ground. Her head was still spinning and her thoughts yet dazed as she landed with a splash into the murky waters and mud of the mire.

In a blur of frenzied thought, she felt herself sinking downward. A split second passed and she relived the fall into the water, eyes wide, cheeks puffed gasping at air, hands flailing, the light of the torch spinning wildly before her and then dying the instant it hit the dark waters with a sizzle.

A scramble to free feet from stirrups ended as she felt the movement of her body come to a sudden stop. Had she hit bottom? Was this it?

She held all the time in the world in the palm of her hands and she released a sigh of thankfulness, cut short by the horse landing on top of her with a horrific crunch. Adrina's pain was sudden, excruciating, and vividly real as her world careened to darkness.

This, my friends, is just a sampling the terrible literature I'VE read. I mean, have you people read Terry Goodkind? Another example of TERRIBLE literature, but this time, published in the mainstream. Eragon is another example, the prose is atrocious. Same with Twilight. Or anything by L. Ron Hubbard.

Essentially, shame on those who put down Scarlet Letter, Catcher in the Rye and others as the WORST and expect not to get laughed at by me. What it means is that you haven't read enough.

Catcher in the Rye? Please. Try reading the Sword of Truth series and not stabbing yourself, wishing you hadn't read some bland, straightforward fantasy written by an author who jacks off to Ayn Rand, and has characters do giant speeches about the evils of a socialist system and then kick little girls(but they're evil) in the jaw, shattering their face.

Also, people who can't dig The Great Gatsby are people whose literary opinions I simply can't respect. Unless you aren't American, then I might be able to understand, but the characters are so human, so real. The prose is lyrical and gets to the heart of the lie behind the classic 'American Dream', it's a book about people past their prime, desperately trying to clutch at the one fleeting moment in their past when they were hot sh*t, and failing. It's a book about the shallow pleasures of a materialistic society which parties, goes to mansions and drinks but never seem to be happy or content. To me, The Great Gatsby is America in a nutshell.

Basically, I won't respect your literary opinion unless you like or respect these things which should be universally loved: The Great Gatsby, Slaughter-House Five and Vonnegut in general, The Wasteland/The Hollow Men/Rhapsody on a Windy Night by TS Eliot, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin, The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, Prose of the Trans-Siberian by Blaise Cendrars, part one of Howl by Allen Ginsberg, Neuromancer by Gibson, and assorted things by Robert Heinlein(The Moon is a Harsh Mistress for me) and Philip K. D*ck(screw you word filter, this guy is a legend, read A Scanner Darkly :P)

Those aren't my top favorites, but I feel they are great and shouldn't have a divided opinion, though Gatsby can cause haters for some reason, and T.S. Eliot has detractors, but at his best is one of the most amazing poets. I adore The Wasteland. Anyway. Keep on loving great literature and hating bad literature.

Flyingpig437 · 08-31-2010, 08:48 AM

Portrait of the artist as a young man by James joyce...that's if you can call reading the first sentence reading it. It said something about a moo cow coming down the road. A ****in' moo cow!!! Jeez!

Davey Moore · 08-31-2010, 02:55 PM

James Joyce is cryptic, and his prose is nearly impenetrable to normal readers, but he's a literary genius nonetheless.

The only things I COULD finish by him were Dubliners and The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

I'll never be able to understand Finnegan's Wake, and Ulysses I'm starting to grasp, but slowly.

Nine Black Poppies · 08-31-2010, 03:16 PM

Ulysseys takes a while. It's one of those books that definitely requires several readings. Still just a warm up for Proust, though--I have yet to tackle that monster.

Anyway, that excerpt you posted up there hurt my brain cells. Ow.

RVCA · 09-01-2010, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davey Moore

blah blah blah

Bro, I can go out and find a million books written by a million sh*tty authors. There are obviously bad books, and then there are supposed "classics" or "good" books that you may have personally hated. Usually, bringing up such titles generates far more discussion than saying "The Breach by Patrick Lee was absolutely terrible!" and having no one know what the f*ck you're talking about.

mr dave · 09-01-2010, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RVCA

Bro, I can go out and find a million books written by a million sh*tty authors. There are obviously bad books, and then there are supposed "classics" or "good" books that you may have personally hated. Usually, bringing up such titles generates far more discussion than saying "The Breach by Patrick Lee was absolutely terrible!" and having no one know what the f*ck you're talking about.

but... we're all supposed to like the classics... just like everyone is supposed to like The Beatles or Bob Dylan or Led Zeppelin

08-31-2010, 02:55 PM	#107 (permalink)
Davey Moore The Great Disappearer Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: URI Campus and Coventry, both in RI Posts: 462	James Joyce is cryptic, and his prose is nearly impenetrable to normal readers, but he's a literary genius nonetheless. The only things I COULD finish by him were Dubliners and The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I'll never be able to understand Finnegan's Wake, and Ulysses I'm starting to grasp, but slowly. __________________ The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

08-31-2010, 03:16 PM	#108 (permalink)
Nine Black Poppies Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: A State of Denial Posts: 357	Ulysseys takes a while. It's one of those books that definitely requires several readings. Still just a warm up for Proust, though--I have yet to tackle that monster. Anyway, that excerpt you posted up there hurt my brain cells. Ow. __________________ Like carnivores to carnal pleasures, so were we to desperate measures...

08-31-2010, 08:48 AM	#106 (permalink)
Flyingpig437 Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 534	Portrait of the artist as a young man by James joyce...that's if you can call reading the first sentence reading it. It said something about a moo cow coming down the road. A ****in' moo cow!!! Jeez!