The Spam Thread: Channel Your Need to Spam Here Only

[kibbeh]

***** is not a swear word lol wtf

[Thelonious Monkey]

I am so stressed and tired, and this bowl is the only good thing that's happened today.

[innerspaceboy]

Angry out-of-touch man rant:

One of the delightful caveats of owning a home built in the early 1920s is the complete lack of overhead lighting. Every room is exquisitely dark... just the way I like it. (Plus it's a lovely excuse to buy a ton of ornate antique brass swing arm floor lamps with marble bases and ornamental fringe shades.)

But it's a ***** to read in the dark, so I need a good bedside table reading lamp. My wife said, "let's pop into Target. Never hurts to look."

Words fail me here. The sight I beheld in Target's lighting aisle was one of indescribable despondence. Where I'd expected to see lamps I was instead stupified by a pile of garishly new, geometric, gaunt, angular, repulsive, plastic grotesque abortions of design aesthetic. (Okay, so perhaps words don't fail me entirely.)

Where was the porcelain? Where were the ornamental brass filigree bases? The hand-crafted silk scallop fringed shades? Am I to understand that these plastic horrors are what light the homes of the everyman?

I made a hasty exit and vowed never to return. Instead, I visited the owners of each of the city's antique dealers and put the word out to contact me should any quality lamps surface in the resale or estate markets in the coming months.

I also mentioned that I was in the market for an antique 1900s cast iron cooking stove and an 1830s style end table like this Jonathan Charles piece from their Buckingham Collection -



A table like this will be perfect for the Tantalus I've commissioned.

Lesson learned: Stay the hell out of Target.

[The Batlord]

Idea: reality show where we send ISB to various icons of Western consumer culture (Walmart, McDonalds, a mall, etc) with a shopping list of completely arbitrary bull**** and see what happens.

[DwnWthVwls]

Originally Posted by innerspaceboy

geometric,

Really? Seriously, really?

You just have a fetish for old crap. I'm sorry you can't appreciate the beauty of modern design. Idk, if your blinded by your economic morality or what, but youre awfully close minded.

[innerspaceboy]

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

Really? Seriously, really?

You just have a fetish for old crap. I'm sorry you can't appreciate the beauty of modern design. Idk, if your blinded by your economic morality or what, but your awfully close minded.

You're absolutely right, DWV. Yes - I am a fetishist for "old crap", particularly Victorian, Elizabethan, and Edwardian crap. The regal aesthetic and expert quality craftsmanship appeal to me.

And as such, it's understandable that I find half-a**ed geometric plastic goods rather frightful. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love minimalism and simplicity when they are employed thoughtfully. There is a tremendous value to minimalist design in art, decor, music, and philosophy. Wonderful stuff. But crap like this -



...(these are all from Target's website), are frankly laughable. And yes - I'm closed-minded in that regard because it is silly for me to expect the general public to subscribe to my design aesthetic. I just find it perplexing that anyone would look at something like the "urchin lamp" above and say to themselves, "Yes! That is what I want in my home. That object reflects and accentuates my taste in art and general aesthetic values!"

Of course, that's where I get it wrong at the outset - the average person just wants a friggin lamp and doesn't pay the slightest attention to what it looks like. I just think that that is a terrible waste of potential beauty and expression.

But you're 100% right - I'm a bit daft.

[Ol’ Qwerty Bastard]

i'm no lamp connoisseur but i certainly agree those are hideous.

[djchameleon]

The 1st and 3rd in the second row are fine but I wouldn't touch any of the others.

[Cuthbert]

"Rather frightful" lamps ffs

[DwnWthVwls]

The old crap comment was tongue in cheek. I also enjoy the aesthetics you find appealing, but some of the adjectives you used to support your ultimate conclusion of grotesque aesthetics is what got to me. Geometric, angular, and new to be exact.

You also have to understand that those designs would, in fact, fit the aesthetics of many modern homes, so it's not unreasonable for low/middle class consumers to feel "Yes! That is what I want in my home. That object reflects and accentuates my taste in art and general aesthetic values!" even if you can't appreciate or understand where they are coming from. I have no argument in regards to the quality of the products, but aesthetically I disagree. I like a couple of those designs.