Today I had a run in with Overly Enthusiastic Long Boring Story Guy at work. He's not a legit ******* who I'd feud with in any real way so our run ins are never serious and I try to make my displeasure felt through creativity rather than aggression. Today he was the drive thru order taker and some Asian Indian customer inspired him to spend the next twenty minutes constantly doing the worst Apu impression I've ever heard. The kind of racial caricature that is in fact offensive but far more enraging due to its comedic incompetence.
So I politely asked him to stop (i.e. told him to shut the **** up), to which he continued to do his impression directly at me, so I squirted ketchup at him and took the broken drive thru headset, turned it on, and hid it. This being a reasonably good prank because when you press the button on one headset to be able to talk to the drive thru speaker it turns on all of them so that everyone wearing a headset can hear the static of the speaker being on and the ambient noise of outside, and if you can hear this then you are always on some sort of paranoid overdrive assuming that a car has just pulled up to the speaker. And once you press the button on the broken headset it can not be turned off without removing the battery, so until its hiding spot is found the drive thru order taker must endure this constant low grade annoyance.
It took thirty minutes to find the broken headset and the racist Indian accent ceased for the rest of my shift. If you do not understand the humor of this then just understand that my 33-year-old childishness crushed the childishness of a high school senior.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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