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Is this even still black metal? It just sounds like weirdo noise of some sort or another. I never know with you.

everyone says something else but this review breaks it down pretty well

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Well into the 21st century it seems like the ability to create an original product in the context of the greater metal universe becomes ever more difficult as subgenres splinter out into every possible direction like newly formed branches on trees. While most bands seem to settle on a few influences and adhere to a set parameter that they won’t expand beyond, some bands like the bizarre experimental act Q’UQ’UMATZ have no problem with scouring the entire musical universe in order to find inspiration. Founded in South Lake Tahoe, CA and named after the Mayan deity who was one of the gods who created the world in the Popol Vih which was the famous K’iche’ creation epic. Like that god, this band has created some of the most distinct and experimental metal music of the modern era incorporating everything from atmospheric black metal, post-rock and progressive rock alongside with traditional Native American music, noise rock and neo-psychedelia.

This is one of those bands that prefers to remain mysterious and enigmatic not releasing their identities or even the instruments played on their albums. Everything is a freakish romp through the sonic parade of their own making. Having only debuted in the year 2016, the band set forth by releasing two albums in the single year of which this debut TEPEU (another K’iche’ Mayan language term that means “sovereign,” “one who conquers” or “one who is victorious”) came first (followed by “I Know It’s The Trees….”) Prepare yourself for an adventurous ride into the unknown with this one as there is nothing i’ve ever heard that can compare to it. Just like a trip from Quetzaltenango, Guatemala to the verdant jungles surrounding the mysterious ancient pyramids of Tikal, Q’UQ’UMATZ delivers a musical journey that flows much like a physical journey across the ever changing landscapes of our planet.

While beginning with indigenous flute music of the Central American region where the Mayan ruled for centuries and still exist in sizable numbers, Q’UQ’UMATZ are the masters of musical flow where they slowly morph into one style of music over the other creating a sort of baton passing effect with more than one style usually existing at any given moment. Whether they incorporate black metal riffs, post-rock atmospheric presence or extremely challenging progressive rock time signatures that run amok, they exhibit a tidal wave of moods and textures ranging from moog organ psychedelia to some of the most unexpected layers of styles that create wild and vivacious counterpoints in atonal yet satisfying rhythmic patterns. This is avant-garde to the max! Some tracks like “Ik Kil Cenote” are just frenetic and complex beyond belief and enough to make some music listener’s heads explode as it delivers several polyrhythms imposed upon each other with each trying to be more jarring and freaky than the other. While the album is almost entirely instrumental, there finally emerge some black metal shrieks that appear after the eight minute mark of the final title track.

TEPEU is evenly split between three shorter tracks and three very long ones that all exceed the twelve minute mark with the title track nearing a whopping 25! This is simply music so bizarre and resistant to any points of reference that is the epitome of the avant-garde that defies every possible attempt at such silly notions of nomenclature. It seems like every single aspect of this music has been designed to be utterly alien to any comparisons. Despite being an utterly alien sounding and a soundtrack for the deranged on lysergic joyrides in the astral planes, there is a continuity in the rhythmic flow which saves this from collapsing into a free fall train wreck that sputters into the truest form of chaos however that doesn’t mean that progressive time signature don’t change at the drop of hat, it only means that somehow Q’UQ’UMATZ create a totally satisfying river of consciousness that allows the listener to float on their little inner tube with their head phones on allowing each segment of the music connect logically to the next despite every segment being completely off-kilter in its mondo bizarro reality. I love this! This is simultaneously sensual and aggressive as hell and creates a distinct soniscape that connects the dots but never tells you where those dots reside. This would CERTAINLY have been included on the Nurse With Wound List had it come about 40 years ago!

that's right, I'm referring to a review of my own music, one most likely posted before

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Despite being an utterly alien sounding and a soundtrack for the deranged on lysergic joyrides in the astral planes, there is a continuity in the rhythmic flow which saves this from collapsing into a free fall train wreck that sputters into the truest form of chaos however that doesn’t mean that progressive time signature don’t change at the drop of hat, it only means that somehow Q’UQ’UMATZ create a totally satisfying river of consciousness that allows the listener to float on their little inner tube with their head phones on allowing each segment of the music connect logically to the next despite every segment being completely off-kilter in its mondo bizarro reality.

You wrote this didn't you?

http://www.xclusivetouch.co.uk/wp-co...lying-meme.jpg

The man, the myth, the legend.

Nardwuar knows what we all had for dinner last night.

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Wtf is a microaggresion?

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It's kind like my penis, small but full of aggression.

Hahaha

I liked when Fat Mike said to Nardwuar:

"You like everything Nardwuar, you don't have what people call, a discerning taste."

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941623)

https://media0.giphy.com/media/5svgI6vxahHri/giphy.gif

You ever see his interview with Eric Andre?

Eric Andre is a dick.

Not nearly as much of a dick as Pusha T was though. He just ****ing drops all those records.

They both threw each other out of character in that interview.

It's Bat Appreciation Day according to Twitter.
To celebrate I'm going to do a shit in a plastic box.

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Originally Posted by Man like Monkey (Post 1941864)

It's Bat Appreciation Day according to Twitter.
To celebrate I'm going to do a shit in a plastic box.

It was a bucket. Get it right. And don't forget to cover your mess with cat litter.

Knew it was one of them :D

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And don't forget to cover your mess with cat litter.

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Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1941897)

7-hour ad by US Cellular where you get to watch grass grow while some guy plays croquet and flies a kite.

420 mins. :pimp:

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Originally Posted by grindy (Post 1941901)

420 mins. :pimp:

Don't think I didn't notice that.

^lol

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Originally Posted by Man like Monkey (Post 1941864)

It's Bat Appreciation Day according to Twitter.
To celebrate I'm going to do a shit in a plastic box.

Doing it all wrong... Youre supposed to chug disgusting forties and **** yourself when you fart.

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Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 1941946)

**** yourself when you fart.

Trying to figure out the logistics of this. Do you fuck yourself after you fart or do you do both simultaneously?

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Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 1941946)

^lol

Doing it all wrong... Youre supposed to chug disgusting forties and **** yourself when you fart.

I don't drink 40s. I drink six packs of 16oz Steel Reserve cans. 40s are for wimps. But the second half is a constant terror.

Edit: My apologies Lord of Bats.. *drink disgusting 6 packs of Steel Reserves.

I'd imagine it's a lot like this:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bc/13...b29dcf62df.gif

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Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 1941950)

Edit: My apologies Lord of Bats.. *drink disgusting 6 packs of Steel Reserves.

I'd imagine it's a lot like this:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bc/13...b29dcf62df.gif

Basically but then you get used to the vileness and learn to love the drunkenness. It's booze. You're not drinking it for the taste, otherwise you'd drink non-alcoholic ****. You're drinking it to get drunk.

I remember feeling that way when I was 15. Now I get drunk and don't have a taste to get used to. Win win. Plus I usually drink stronger stuff than Steel Reserve anyways. Why aren't you just drinking Everclear?

I just buy the **** on my way home from work and don't make a federal case out of it. I just wanna get drunk.

I only drink for taste.. I don't even like getting drunk. 1 to 2 beers max nowadays. I'm probably the minority.

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Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1941962)

I just buy the **** on my way home from work and don't make a federal case out of it. I just wanna get drunk.

Then why so defensive, TH?

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Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1941958)

Also over here representing gentlemanly, refined alcoholicism.

Im with Batty on this one. For around 5 bucks or so i can get blackout drunk and that's good enough for me.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941965)

Also over here representing gentlemanly, refined alcoholicism.

Basically what I'm talking about. You're trying to make a hobby out of alcoholism so you can brag about something that's not worth bragging about. You're a drunk. Own it. Save money by buying cheap booze. Quit being pretentious about having a serious problem.

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Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1941969)

I enjoy being drunk and drinking stuff that tastes great. I'm not sure why that's so difficult to understand.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941970)

I enjoy being drunk and drinking stuff that tastes great. I'm not sure why that's so difficult to understand.

I'm not sure why it's difficult to understand being a drunk who doesn't hold illusions and just wants the escape from reality. I mean that's what we're both going for, I just don't require spending extra dollars for no real reason. The wince from a swig of malt liquor isn't really that bad. It's just not good.

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Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1941971)

I have zero confusion with your approach. The fact that you think I'm holding illusions with my preferences shows that you're the one who's confused here.

Although I guess I do find it confusing that you drink beer instead of hard liquor. Does it just come down to convenience? Not many gas stations sell whiskey.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941974)

I have zero confusion with your approach. The fact that you think I'm holding illusions with my preferences shows that you're the one who's confused here.

According to that poll a while back you drink even more than I do. No way you do that for recreation. You gotta be going for some kind of oblivion.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941976)

Although I guess I do find it confusing that you drink beer instead of hard liquor. Does it just come down to convenience? Not many gas stations sell whiskey.

Absolutely convenience. There's a gas station on my way home from work.

I can be an alcoholic who still approaches it recreatuonally, bitch. That's how we're created. My alcoholicism doesn't really contradict what I've been saying though. I drink more than you but you probably drink more beer than me.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941981)

I guess I'm just more avant garde than you. You gotta put up a screen between you and your need. I'm willing to experience it pure.

If you were willing to experience it pure, you'd drink vanilla extract like a real man.

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Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1941983)

If you were willing to experience it pure, you'd drink vanilla extract like a real man.

If I wanted it pure I'd punch my mother in the face and drink Mad Dog with my last Burger King check before they fired me for not being able to shower or wash my uniform.