The Boy

I am an aspiring performance artist. My issuse is I do not know whether to forgo a college education and dedicate myself to my art or continue my education. I do not really know where to go for advice. I do not really have any friends and my family does not really express in true interest in my personal desires. I know that they want what is best for me, as do I. However, I feel like I cannot truly live my life the way they believe I should. My expreinece in college was highly uncomfortable. I remember feeling anxious, annoyed, listless, and bored. I felt like I could not handle or focus on the material as well as my peers because my mind was/is in a different place. I am sure part of their success in the classes I shared with my peers because they had a passion and goal they were following. I could easily study what I am working towards in college however, for me the environment feels so negative, I do not feel any energy or excitement. I want to create and develop myself on my own terms.

I am tired of feeling very confused and alone. I feel as though I am wasting my time and not going anywhere, which is no way for me to succeed in what I want. I feel like I need to abandon certain burdens in my life in order to move forward and succeed in my desires. I do not feel any boundaries in my way for what I want. I am determined that nothing will stop me in achieving my goal. I may fail and live a life of hardship due to lack of college education. I am not afraid of success or failure. I do not see any in-between, I will either achieve exactly what I want or fail trying.

I feel incredibly lost and confused. I feel I can truly succeed with what knowledge I have. Going back to college just does not seem like a pleasant idea for me. I feel as though I have to go after what I want now. I don't feel that I have any time to waste. I am pretty sure of what I want to do but, if anyone has any advice for me I would be extremely grateful. I need some variety in opinions about my situation. The only opinion I have recieved from anyone I know is: STAY IN SCHOOL! I suppose is the practical option but, I do not feel that there is any assurance in someone's success in a chosen path with or without a college education. I also do not believe a degree really provides any kind of secruity, to me it seems like a false secruity, at least for my chosen path. I just need to feel like I am finally living my own life and making decisions that are best for me in terms of my present, future, and my health.