Dear Savannah,

I have a strip of bacon, 2 onions, half a jar of peanut butter, and some twizzlers. Should I put it all in the blender or just try to make a bong out of it?

silly silly boy,.......take the onion and chop a third of it off, with the larger piece hollow out a bowl,...use the twizlers for a mouth piece

the peanut butter can be thrown to the dogs so they will leave you along while you fry up the bacon, (your gonna be thirsty anyway,...peanut butter is askin for trouble)....with the onions,......just eat it, straight up,.......with your fingers

Uh, my dogs are all high and I cant get the peanut butter lit. Did I do something wrong?

yes

Dear savannah, since our yesterday night rendez-vous, i don't find my left sock. Can you help me?

Lets see, Where should I start...

Dear Savannah, if I genuinely enjoy "Take On Me" by a-Ha and dance to it in the shower does it indicate that I am indeed a homosexual?

Dear Savannah,
Tomorrow I'm boinking my ex, on Saturday I work with a lass I flirt with outrageously. She has a boyfriend but I reckon it's only a matter of time before we get it on. Later on Saturday I'm meeting up for coffee with a girl I did a couple of years ago but I'm pretty sure she still digs me (because, well, who wouldn't). Last Sunday I had a meal with a couple (just two) of friends one of whom I find myself deeply moved for, and soon somebody who I know through University will be coming back to the City who I find myself increasingly infatuated with.

My question is, will I ever be able to cope with the concept of just one woman for more than a month at a time?

when in doubt, look under the bed

i'm already told you exactly what to do to fix everything,....and as smoothly as possible


thats a rather subjective question,......i'd have to see your shoes to fully answer this question


hopefully,.....
i used to have this same problem, mostly due to my abandonment issues
i felt like as long as i was the needed and not the needer everything would be much easier for me, (and lets face it,....it can be quite fun).....i still struggle with those issues,....everyday
but i'm gettin much better with the idea

my point is,....until you understand what makes you that way, you will always be that way,....i feel like self awareness fixes most things
but if your ok with that, just keep doin what it is you do,.......

Dear Savannah,

Freebase Dali has better eyebrows than me. I can't seem to look past the magnificent arch when looking at his photos. It has become an obsession that I'm afraid will only be cured if I off someone ... Help?