Astronomer

^ This is true, and the way I see it is that we work to live, not live to work. I see so many young people disillusioned and thinking that they can make their passions and their hobbies into their career. In today's world this is rarely possible unless you are incredibly lucky. I would have loved a career in art or music but after finishing my Arts degree I realised that there were no jobs in the field that would pay my bills. mr dave is pretty right in saying you pretty much just take what you can get...

BUT despite following a totally different career path to the dreams I had when I was younger, I've still managed to keep my passions (such as art and music) alive. They are still a huge part of my life and my biggest pastimes. So don't get too down about it. You can always hold onto the aspirations you had when you were young, in some way.

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+81

Well you guys have bummed me out. It's my first year of university (was a college a week ago) in the BA program with no idea what I want to do with my life. So far I've told myself I'll major in anthropology and that's as far as I've thought ahead.

I really should be studying or at least sleeping.

Astronomer

Don't worry, I had no idea what I wanted to do in my first year. I don't think many people know how they're going to be spending their life at that time! Just go with the flow and choose majors that appeal to you and you'll figure it out along the way.

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+81

Thanks, Lateralus. Hopefully it will all work out. What did you major/minor in and what are you doing now, if I may ask?

VEGANGELICA

Hello WolfAtTheDoor,

Maybe my story will be useful in some way. I was a very motivated high school student who got perfect marks, never dated, and knew I wanted a career in the sciences or in art, both of which I loved. After graduating from high school I felt very confident. I had an opportunity to take a year off and live in Berlin before going to the college of my choice, which had accepted me and granted a deferment.

So, at age 17 I moved from a state with 3 million people to a city with 3 million people, where my life for the first time focused on relationships, since I didn't need to go to school. Living in Germany gave me a wealth of new life experiences, some very good, and some very bad. I fell in love with someone for the first time, someone who said he loved me, too. The day after our first kiss he raped me. That was a fundamental turning point in my life.

My self-worth plummeted. I felt I was worthless ("damaged goods"), and I reacted by no longer protecting my sexual boundaries with people, since I felt I had nothing left to protect anymore. Although I wanted to change my life direction completely by going to art school in Berlin, I ended up following the "safe" path of going to college back in the States as planned. However, I wrestled with the feeling that my self worth depended on people and things external to me (that is, I felt my self-worth depended on whether someone loved me or not, or whether or not I did well in school).

It took me around 8 years to finally realize on an emotional level that how others felt about me did not define me. Part of this realization manifested itself while I was in graduate school. I realized 3 years into graduate school, which involved me doing a lot of work with radioisotopes, that I didn't want to continue on that path. Rather than continuing to do something I didn't want to do and that felt harmful to me, I decided to stop with a master's and not continue with the Ph.D. This disappointed my major professors. That was a hard change for me...because I was no longer going on the route I felt I should follow. I changed career paths and started working at a domestic violence/rape crisis center, which was a job I loved. I still remember the feeling of freedom I had that I was stopping doing something I didn't want to do. It was such a relief. I eventually started working as a lab researcher during the days (which I continue to do) because I missed science.

I would never have thought of working at the domestic violence center if it hadn't been for my experience of being raped. Overcoming the aftermath of that experience resulted in me becoming a much more compassionate, brave, and forgiving person (toward myself and others). First volunteering and then working at the DV shelter helped me learn a lot about myself and others, and gain a perspective that I wouldn't have had if I had continued on the career path I started on.

I don't feel there has been or will be one "direction" in my life, but I do feel that over time my resistance to doing things I dislike has increased, and my awareness of what I love...what makes me feel more alive...has increased. I didn't take the exact career path I initially envisioned for myself back in high school, but I think it was wise that I listened to my "heart." While it is probably true that no job can fulfill everything you want out of life, hopefully you can find a career path that fulfills some of what you enjoy most. Part of "finding myself" has been due to getting to know myself better (my passions and insecurities) and learning to make life path choices that are meaningful to me, whether or not they are to other people.

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WolfAtTheDoor

^^

That really is an incredible story.

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press your space face close to mine, love

savannah

veg,...thank you for sharing that

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i changed my mind; i changed my mind;now i'm feeling different

all that time, wasted
i wish i was a little more delicate
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my
i wish my name was clementine - sarah jaffe

sidewinder

"Where did it all go wrong?"

I've been wondering that lately.

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last.fm | my collection on RYM | vinyl instagram @allthatyouseeandhear
I'd love to see your signature/links too, but the huge and obnoxious ones have caused me to block all signatures.

cavanherk

I think we have the answer in these lines. If you don't enjoy what you're learning, and if they are not meaningful to you, ditch them.

I studied business in college because I thought it would be responsible of me since I earned scholarships to go. Otherwise I would have simply joined a branch of the armed forces and gone from there. But really, all I wanted to do was travel. I broke free after college, moved to Ft lauderdale with $400 of bartending tip money in my pocket, found a job and saved enough beans to buy a sailboat for $5,000 and sail the Caribbean.

I know I can't make a living by sailing. Sure I can be a charter captain but I don't see the fun in that. Piracy is not an option, either...unfortunately.

So I am once again riding with the current, caught in the maelstrom, just making a wage, and saving for another adventure. I find joy in saving for my travels. It's not a joy of the job, it's a joy in the progress toward fulfillment of my next ambition. Maybe some day that ambition will make me money. Maybe not.

Doesn't matter--I've got a goal I'm working toward, and that's what's important to me.

WolfAtTheDoor

If these is one thing that I have learnt from the posts in this thread, it's that us English are a lot more conservative and indecisive. The closest most of us get to travelling the world is a trip down to Bournemouth with our nan and a caravan.

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press your space face close to mine, love