Where did it all go wrong/right for you?

VEGANGELICA · 10-14-2009, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by music_phantom13

My high school was in a great area, I live in Fairfax County which is a bunch of rich people, but there was a huge heroin problem. So, sadly, summer after I graduated, I got into it a bit with my best friend, Jenna, who was coming with me to Maryland to study biology. When we got there, we both went downhill pretty fast.

Then, in January a week before classes were supposed to start, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was pissed off. Jenna called me and told me she really needed me to come see her, but instead I decided to tell her to **** off and make her cry. I should have known why she was calling, but for what ever reason I did nothing. Later that night, I got a call from her roommate to tell me she had found her passed out with a needle and dope, and it was too late.

That said, because of my addiction and stupidity I caused my best friend to get back into something she probably could have escaped from that ended up killing her. And the last time I talked to her I made her cry, and didn't so much as mutter a sorry. Now instead of a best friend to visit, I have a ****ing rock on the ground and a few pictures, nightmares of her crying and hearing that phone call, and the weight of the fact that if I had just put aside my stupid problems for a few minutes she might still be here. I guess the point is, you're human and make mistakes, but don't go doing something as stupid as I did. Heroin's a hell of a drug, don't get mixed up in that ****. And try to remember, you never know when it might be the last time you get to talk to someone, and I hope no one else has to find out what it's like when it ends on a bad note.

Doubt anyone cares, but that's my story.

Thank you for sharing what happened to you and Jenna, music_phantom13. Living with guilt and regret about one's choices is very hard.

You wrote that "I caused my best friend to get back into something she probably could have escaped from that ended up killing her." While I don't know exactly what happened, when I read that you feel you caused Jenna to do something, I find myself wanting to say that unless you forced her to make the choices she made, Jenna was still responsible for her own choices (as much as one can be when one is addicted to a drug). If someone's hold on life or death rests primarily on another person's shoulders, then this is a huge psychological burden to place on another person.

"You never know when it might be the last time you get to talk to someone," is a good reminder not to take others for granted. Your experiences remind me how important it is to encourage others to take paths that don't involve self-harm, and also how important it is to realize that all humans, all of us, make mistakes. Thanks again for sharing what you have learned during your own life so that hopefully others won't have to go through the same thing as you and Jenna.