Dear MB Men and Women...
 

Why are guys so disrespectful to women these days? The last two guys I've met who've been interested in me, turn out days later suggesting we have sex. Nothihng else. No getting to know each other first, no giving it a week, and NO regarding me as a person rather than a piece of meat with a vagina. Am I old fashioned? Do you think values are useless to have? Because I was brought up to respect myself. I am no way perfect, but this situation I keep getting into is ridicolous!

Well, sometimes sex is all that guys (and, believe it or not) girls want from another person. You were lucky you weren't asked to have sex the moment you met those guys

You're old fashioned. Hurry up and put out. Scissorman brings up an interesting point in all seriousness though, you go out on the piss by me a lot of the women are worse from the men.

If you talk sexual like you do in here, then I can kind of see where they are coming from. If not, then I dont know. Maybe its not that they are *******s but just balls deep in the 'You only live one life' theory so they gotta get while the gettins good. Just a thought.

Maybe those 2 guys were just out for sex and you werent. Women are often out just for sex too and if they cant get it from someone, they move on to someone else but in my experience theres no question of respect or disrespect when it's this way round.

Alot of times i see women giving off major signals to guys in clubs and bars and then when the guy tries to pursue her for sex, she complains about how they arent paying her any respect.

It doesnt mean that all guys are disrespectful to women. Not all guys are just out for sex.

EDIT: Im not saying any of the above actually apply to you, just my thoughts.

Don't be mistaken, at all times every man on this fair earth is looking for sex. However much shit he's willing to put up with along the way is up to him.

It seems like you just found two with an extraordinarily low tolerance for it.

Whats disrespectful about having sex?

it seems to me that everybody just needs to get laid...

At least they asked. ;)

I know what you mean, my dad talks about it all of the time.
He says when he was younger, he would never imagine treating women the way guys treat them now.

Edit: Some guys, not every one.

So am I to assume you view as the height of respect for women the days when a woman's place was in the kitchen and sexual harassment was just a normal part of the work environment?

Jans throwin' heymakers.

Yeah I don't know if wanting sex is disrespectful. At least they were as forthcoming as society would allow about it.

i agree with big3. i think if men and women were not as forthcoming as they are about it these days we would all be lying to each other a lot more. if everyone just accepted the idea that casual sex is something that many many people do, then we wouldn't find it offensive when someone else is particularly interested in experiencing some naked time with us... cuz really, it's kind of a compliment.

i think getting straight to the point about one's agenda is honest and civilized. mind you, i also believe there are civilized and uncivilized ways of going about expressing those agendas.

SOME GUYZ, SOME GIRLS ARE ONLY abouuttt that thing that thing that thiiiingggg!!!

I find that,what I really don't like is a handful of males think it means I want to **** them if I'm nice to them. I'm too socially retarded to flirt. Thankfully, this is by no means all. Also, I do enjoy chivalry, but not so much as I enjoy MANNERS FROM BOTH SIDES MOTHER****ER

:laughing:

you're adorable...sex?

Well since you asked so politely...of course, sir! ;)

Stay safe, kids!

Why are girls so disrespectful to men these days? The last two girls I've met who've been interested in me, turn out days later suggesting all guys are sexist *******s just because they know a few who are. Nothing else. No getting to know any other guys first, no giving any time to get to know them, and NO regarding me/any other guy as a person rather than a sexist **** with a penis. Am I old fashioned? Do you think values are useless to have? Because I was brought up to respect women. I am no way perfect, but this situation I keep getting into is ridiculous!

i blame the women's lib movement

I blame idiot girls who think all guys are the same.

If i came along and said 'all girls are a ****ing bunch of slags' I'd probably get loads of **** off most girls, yet girls can do it to guys and no-one gives a ****. Pisses me off.

But maybe I'm just tired.

It's called age and reaching a maturity that maybe wasn't there before. Now that you are older it's understandable that you are looking into a relationship that isn't immediately based on making the beast with two backs. Unfortunately men rarely mature until they are over 30 no matter how they present themselves and their only aim is losing their custard when they can.

My advice- seek the older man ;)

You are so very sneaky.

Lol, why would they 'give it a week', would you rather they waited a little longer then tried to bang you?

I absolutely never talk sexual with someone I have just met. I was no way even flirting. I am always dressed appropriately so it's not fair to blame me.

No, I'd rather them actually want to know who the hell I am and consider me more than just a body, but a person too. Not everyone is obssessed with having one night stands!

Hmmm, think that's my new years resolution: date older men! JH, how you doin'? ;)

I don't think wanting sex is disrespectful, but the manner in which a guy trys to obtain it is. Oh and I made a sexual experience thread, I obviously am fond of it. I just don't need to be used for it.

I agree. The problem with my situation is, I was not in the clubs, or pubs, or under influence of alcohol. The two guys I met through random of events during the day who generally seemed interested in me. But to the guys here, you forget some women have emotions and maturity. I'm past the stage where I just had sex freely, now I want to be with one person to do it. I am just shocked about how blunt these guys were, I mean did they really expect me to turn around and go sure?

That's not my point. They want casual sex, you're looking for something more. No reason to get indignant.
How would you know? Because it looks that way in the movies? Men should be expected to 'earn it'? What does that even mean?

I'm wondering if there are guys that actually have other intentions other than just rooting women?

I scrapped it because I read another post that made a lot of sense. But there were elements of which society told men to date women first, not just ask them for sex. Not that it wasn't going on, it was just more acceptable to get to know someone.

age is definitely a factor but this is an issue that cuts both ways.

why do women pull so many head games on guys? as everyone else here has said at least they were upfront and honest from the get go. there's nothing more awesome than to find out you've been getting to know a complete and total lie for 6 months.

or even better, and i'm POSITIVE i'm not the only guy who's had this line of crap thrown at him. 'why don't you open up more? / it's like talking to a wall' which is normally closely followed by 'geez stop whining / grow some balls / i don't want to hear your problems'.

on topic to this discussion the headgames normally follow this route, guy tries to kiss girl 'hey! i'm not just a sex object', ok, guys backs off a bit. then 'what's wrong? don't you like me? don't you think i'm attractive? why aren't you trying to get close to me?'

lucky for me my hand is a better lay than the women from the preceding examples.

Well when my dad was talking about it, it wasn't me going out or partying either. It was at school, where you're supposed to be in an academic environment. My sister is always getting sexual or racist comments at school.

I didn't get a lot of those, but I'm bigger, so I was made fun of a lot, mostly by guys. My dad said that didn't really happen often, guys made fun of other guys, they didn't go around making fun of girls, because that's disrespectful.
Of course I'm sure you got the occasional asshole, but most of the guys were taught more respect than that.

Again you are treating all men the exact same way. I understand how it could be frustrating to be meeting men who all turn out to be this way, who all happen to be looking for one thing but we're not all like this. Really there is no more to this than you happen to be meeting the kind of guys, or happen to be attracted to the kind of guys who are this way.

Theres alot of them around but there are alot of women around who behave the same way too.

I basically agree with you, Vanilla. Kinda. I'd like to meet a girl and go on a couple dates and she plays hard to get. But girls are too skanky now. And that's no fault of anyone's, and not even a case where fault should be assigned. Girls should be able to bang what/who they want. But then don't think that females are going to be kept up on a pedestal and worshipped and treated like royalty when you all act kind of slutty now. P is no longer hard to get, so what incentive do men have to act crazy chivalrous? Men have always been easy, and we've delt with it. Now its your turn.
Just one explination, though.

What bar are you hanging out at?

Haha. Totally.

i posted this in some other thread, but it seems relevant here.

anyway, here is my two cents. how well do you want to know a guy before you have sex with him? if you clicked on some level before he wanted sex, maybe he felt like that was enough. i know for me, if i met a girl with a comparable interest in music to myself i would be ready to bed her inside of an hour...and yes, i would even try to pursue more of a relationship if we continued to have things in common. i don't see anything wrong with sex that happens quickly...and i think with a little foresight it is easy for a girl to spot the type of guy that is only interested in a one night stand. trust me, guy personalities are different enough to be able to distinguish at least that much.

It's natural for males to be more sex-orientated than women. As the female of the species (generally) tends to be less concerned with sex, it is necessary for males to actively seek it. After all, the only logical reason to have sex is to reproduce. If both sexes retained a natural modesty then the human race would be in competition with Pandas in terms of laziness.

However, some of us men HAVE evolved away from our Primal instincts and take more solace in finding a partner that we are compatible with rather than something warm to empty our glowing ballbags into.

But it must be said that for every male prowling the clubs for a quick shag, there is a short skirted female sitting at the bar waiting for desperate **** to buy her a drink. It's all a game. You've just got to find the right players.

Because they are evil character assassins who spew bitter vile hatred towards every woman that is more successful and attractive than them creating a never ending cycle of which no man should ever be unfortunate enough to get caught up in?

FYI - when you use those words together you need to use the "vitriol" also. You just have to.

i think the fact that most young people are now being raised by mass media more than their working parents plays another big part in the typical social roles people play. the modern obsession with celebrity also plays a big factor into that as well and helps perpetuate the conflicting roles people see for themselves and expect from others.

Well I don't believe that they are all like that, as my ex boyfriend dated me first before screwing my brains out which was the best way to get me. I just like to know a guy wants me not just sex.

this is not a personal attack against vanilla at all, but I feel like threads like this is why girls get such bad raps on forums and the internets in general.

This seems to be a topic best not left for generalization. Not only does it depend from person to person, but also what kind of mood that person is in. Take me for example: I never made a very good slut. Sure, I got some interesting stories out of my experiences, but I'm more of a person that likes an intellectual connection to begin with. And that usually takes time. Don't get me wrong, though. I like sex. I like sex a lot. And sometimes I just feel like having sex with somebody. However, I've been having a problem lately with distinguishing which girls are suitable for my intentions. I've wasted a lot of time on ignorant whores, lately, I guess is what I'm getting at. I was mistaken. I thought they were worth a shit.

So can a be a cocky asshole? Sometimes. Not very often. Only when dealing with somebody that I don't think respects themselves enough to seek something more than a drunken hook-up.