Music Banter

Music Banter (https://www.musicbanter.com/)
-   The Lounge (https://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/)
-   -   Stupidity (https://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/4772-stupidity.html)

Mojo 08-19-2010 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 915329)
I think my mom, bless her heart, is the stupidest person I know. I'm going to hell for saying that, but it's true.

Mom: *sneezing 14 times*
Me: "You should sneeze through your nose or something, maybe whatever's in there will get blown out and stop irritating it?"
Mom: "No way!"
Me: "Why not?"
Mom: "Because you can die like that!"
Me: "What?"
Mom: "The pressure can make your brains explode out your ears and you need to stop trying to get me to sneeze through my nose so I'll die."

Or...

Mom: "I don't believe in doctors. I'm not going to one. If I go they're going to make me get surgery on my back and I'm going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life."
Me: "Mom, it's for a prescription."
Mom: "I don't believe in prescriptions."

Or..

Mom: "The only reason you didn't die in Iraq is because I prayed for you."
Me: "I was never in any real danger."
Mom: "You still would have died."

Or...

Me: "Mom, you should stop smoking. That cough is really getting bad. I don't want you to get cancer"
Mom: "I won't get cancer. I pray about it."
Me: "So there's never been a case of a Christian dying of cancer?"
Mom: "No. And if there is, they weren't Christian enough."


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKK

These are all hilarious. I love them. The last one there is my favourite i think. No Christian has ever died of cancer? :laughing:

"You still would have died" is the kind of irrational thing you would expect a mother to say in that kind of situation i think. Or at least you wouldn't agrue with her.

"I dont believe in prescriptions" is a strange thing to say. But the mother of a girl i was friends with when i was younger used to say things like that all the time. I lost count of the amount of things she didn't believe in.

"Are you coming out for Haloween?"

"No, my mother doesn't believe in Haloween."

Whats not to believe in? It may be a dumb "holiday", this is true, but let the kid out to have some fun for Gods sake!

Freebase Dali 08-19-2010 12:33 PM

Yea, my folks used to be massive Christians when I was coming up and they didn't celebrate holidays. We couldn't celebrate Christmas because my dad said Jesus wasn't born then and it was a pagan holiday, so we had "Toy Day" instead... where we went to the store with X amount of budget and bought what we wanted. That's worse than it sounds.

Halloween, was "the devils holiday" so we couldn't celebrate that either. We had "Candy Day", where we had to spend the night at church where they told all the kids how scared we should be of the devil and all his tricks, then my dad took us to a grocery and gave us a minute to fill some brown paper bags with the candy we wanted. That's worse than it sounds.

Easter, we couldn't celebrate that because the parents said "the world distorted the meaning of Easter, so you can't go easter-egg hunting... because that would be conforming to the will of the world, and not the will of the lord." Word for word.

Thanksgiving was the only one we celebrated like other normal Americans.
That's probably why I don't give much of a shit about holidays in general.


All that is stupidity.

Sansa Stark 08-19-2010 12:49 PM

My mother's husband comes up with some serious gems:

Looking outside the window in the door on Halloween:
"Must be too cold for them colored kids!"

Talking about our female governor:
"That's what happens when you put a woman in office. They're ignorant. See, you can't just put someone in office because of sex or color. That's what's wrong with America today."
then five minutes later on something unrelated
"There's a lot of sexist pigs out there"

On my grandmother:
"Them damn Krauts just can't stay faithful can they!"

My best friend's mom is even worse, we had to make a whole blog of **** she says

Things Jeny's Mom Says

lololol

Mojo 08-19-2010 12:55 PM

Paloma...

Wow. That is unreal. Jeny appears to have some really forward thinking parents!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 920323)
Yea, my folks used to be massive Christians when I was coming up and they didn't celebrate holidays. We couldn't celebrate Christmas because my dad said Jesus wasn't born then and it was a pagan holiday, so we had "Toy Day" instead... where we went to the store with X amount of budget and bought what we wanted. That's worse than it sounds.

Halloween, was "the devils holiday" so we couldn't celebrate that either. We had "Candy Day", where we had to spend the night at church where they told all the kids how scared we should be of the devil and all his tricks, then my dad took us to a grocery and gave us a minute to fill some brown paper bags with the candy we wanted. That's worse than it sounds.

Easter, we couldn't celebrate that because the parents said "the world distorted the meaning of Easter, so you can't go easter-egg hunting... because that would be conforming to the will of the world, and not the will of the lord." Word for word.

Thanksgiving was the only one we celebrated like other normal Americans.
That's probably why I don't give much of a shit about holidays in general.


All that is stupidity.

Thats a shame, i think.

Do you ever wish you had celebrated these holidays? Or do you just really not care?

Freebase Dali 08-19-2010 01:04 PM

I wish I had... I mean, I used to be jealous of all the other kids who got excited for holidays. I never got to do that, so I never experienced it. I guess over the years, when you don't get to cultivate any kind of emotional connection with stuff like that, you naturally don't find yourself caring much about it.

It's like the difference between the death of a stranger and the death of a close friend. Holidays are strangers to me. They come and go, and I don't notice much.

Mojo 08-19-2010 01:22 PM

Yeah, that makes sense.

I don't think i ever necessarily treasured days like that when i was a kid. Christmas maybe but then again, it was probably just because i got loads of presents. I know i would treasure days like that a lot more if and when I have kids. I know that if you never have it, you can't miss it and so i imagine it just doesnt seem a big deal but I do look forward to choosing to be terribly traditional and sentimental.

VEGANGELICA 08-19-2010 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 918466)
It's real. She's the kind of person who, when she was a child, took to heart all the old wives tales and never gave them any rational thought throughout her life to realize that they aren't real. I think she dropped out in the 8th grade too, and has been a housewife her whole life. No one has ever challenged her beliefs, nor has she ever needed a reason to challenge them herself.
That's why she seems so stupid. I personally think she's just really ignorant with a capacity to learn, but far too hard-headed to try.
She won't believe me when I try to explain to her that lungs aren't "bags of air", and you can't "break the bag if you breathe too deeply".

Oh, and she doesn't believe in science. Her take is "Science is always changing their minds about stuff, so I don't believe anything they say".
She's the kind of person that takes EVERYTHING in the bible literally, and believes all of it happened.

I read the other posts about your mom and your family's holiday traditions when you were growing up, Freebase! I'm glad you grew up to think for yourself and question things. I agree that people can be very intelligent but ignorant and overlook obvious information that challenges their beliefs. I'm glad you challenge her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore (Post 920230)
Poking fun at stupid creationists, this vid is of course a classic. These guys are reading and acting to the camera posts made on christian fundamentalist forums. Hehe ..


Ha ha! That was funny and sad, hearing people overlooking the obvious, such as that no evolutionary biologist claims a monkey can live millions of years, or that humans evolved from a modern lifeform!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paloma (Post 920329)
My mother's husband comes up with some serious gems:

Talking about our female governor:
"That's what happens when you put a woman in office. They're ignorant. See, you can't just put someone in office because of sex or color. That's what's wrong with America today."
then five minutes later on something unrelated
"There's a lot of sexist pigs out there"

Yikes, Paloma! Yet another reason to be wary of your mother's husband. It doesn't sound like he recognizes what he is, does he?

Well, one of the stupidest things I remember *I* did was when I was a passenger in a car and saw one of those expandable campers hitched to the car in front of us. The camper was around 3 feet tall, and for a moment I thought, "Huh. Is that a camper for little people?"

I actually said it out loud, too! :o:

FETCHER. 08-19-2010 03:31 PM

Quote:

text

——-original message——-
from: Dad
to: Jeny
subject: Re: Bike
date: Wed, 30 jun 2010

ur mom is a ****ing crack whore!
lmao!!!

Janszoon 08-19-2010 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojopinuk (Post 920235)
No Christian has ever died of cancer? :laughing:

Yeah, that one's pretty crazy. If only my grandmother had known, she'd still be alive today!

Zaqarbal 08-20-2010 05:15 AM

And no scientologist has ever had a psychological problem...... ...according to Tom Cruise:



This man has exceeded the records of stupidity of the last ten years. Now I understand this song.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:41 AM.


© 2003-2022 Advameg, Inc.