The Bald Chick Thread

[Astronomer]

Originally Posted by boo boo

If she knew that you were snapping pictures of her and showing them to a fetishist she'd might get pretty pissed.

Haha exactly, that's what I meant

[boo boo]

Anyway. In persuing a girl, a shaved head would get my attention more than anything but I'd be very scared to persue a bald girl and getting into a relationship with her and her finding out about my thing and thinking I'm only into her because of the fetish, this would be even more awkward if she had alopecia.

On the flip side if I persue a girl with hair and she found out about my thing she is more likely to think it's disgusting.

So the big issue with dealing with girls I have to work with is, when is the appropriate time to tell them about it and how should I tell them?

[VEGANGELICA]

Originally Posted by boo boo

So the big issue with dealing with girls I have to work with is, when is the appropriate time to tell them about it and how should I tell them?

Boo boo, is it okay if I give you a recommendation? I hope it is, because I'm giving it!

If or when you have a chance to pursue a woman with a bald head, hoping the relationship might work out, I recommend you tell her right away during dating that you like the fact that she shaves her head, because of all the things you think this shows about her (her strength, passion, etc.). My guess is that someone who defies a social norm like that appreciates the support.

I agree that when or how to tell her that women's bald heads are a fetish for you is a touchy issue because she might feel any woman with a bald head would do in her place.

Actually, though, the same could be said for almost any heterosexual person's preference in a partner. Like Janszoon joked in the fetish thread, naked women are his fetish! The serious question, though, in that joke is this: if someone is with you because of your gender, and wouldn't be if you had the opposite gender, that kind of means that person doesn't find your brain/mind a romantic turn-on, so his/her interest in you could be called shallow. (This is why the ultimate compliment is to be liked by someone who is bisexual!)

Is liking someone in a sexual way for her shaved head any more shallow than liking someone sexually because she is a woman? I don't think so.

I think telling her early on about your fetish (and emphasizing all the other characteristics about her that you like, too) is best, so that she can decide if that bothers her, and you can discuss it. Maybe she has a fetish for people who have a fetish for women's bald heads, and it will all turn out okay!

[boo boo]

That's very true we all persue the opposite sex with what we are physically attracted to in mind. A lot of guys love big boobs (I guess it's technically a fetish of it's own) and so they persue big boobed girls, well if they tell these girls that they have a thing for big boobs will the girls mind? Probably not because they see that as a normal guy thing and they have been socially conditioned to believe that their boobs are something that many men will desire, it's what they expect.

But what I have is NOT a normal guy thing, people like me are much easier to think of as sexual deviants and perverted, crazy even, people delight in mocking what they don't understand, including people with unusual sexual attractions and even though I don't consider my sexual attraction to bald girls to be weird at all, a lot of people understandably feel differently. And because most paraphiliacs are social outcasts at least when they are open about their fantasies, it's more common for women to reject them because they have been socially conditioned to believe such people are mentally disturbed. Shucks even modern psychologists don't have very kind things to say about fetishists.

Then again I AM mentally unstable but I don't think that is the cause of my fetish, I'm sure there are people with this fetish who are very well adjusted normal people, at least relatively because what is a truly well adjusted normal person anyway?

And you do have a point, would most of us be sexually attracted to our partners if they were another gender? Nope. Maybe it is shallow but that's basic human nature which serves a basic biological need.

[VEGANGELICA]

Originally Posted by boo boo

But what I have is NOT a normal guy thing, people like me are much easier to think of as sexual deviants and perverted, crazy even, people delight in mocking what they don't understand, including people with unusual sexual attractions and even though I don't consider my sexual attraction to bald girls to be weird at all, a lot of people understandably feel differently. And because most paraphiliacs are social outcasts at least when they are open about their fantasies, it's more common for women to reject them because they have been socially conditioned to believe such people are mentally disturbed. Shucks even modern psychologists don't have very kind things to say about fetishists.

I think your bald chick fetish is no weirder than people liking other attributes of people, but I see your reason for your fear. The thing is, if you tell your hypothetical hairless honey about your fetish fast, then if she's horrified you'll get it over more quickly and avoid a potentially longer relationship that ends badly.

I have some experience in this area of when to "reveal" yourself, boo boo, kind of. Like I mentioned elsewhere, when I stopped shaving during a 2-year relationship, my significant other was disgusted by my re-emerging body hair. He essentially said he couldn't be with me if I had my hair. I thought to myself: "Is this the kind of person who is going to stick by me when I'm hot and sweaty, my crotch split open and bleeding, as I give birth to a child? Is he going to expect me to look PRETTY then?!"

So, I left that relationship. Being with someone who couldn't like me as I am was too demoralizing. After that, before I got involved with the next person, I told him right out: "Look. I've got my body hair. If that is a problem for you, tell me now, so we don't go any further." That worked out much better.

It is very nice, boo boo, to be accepted as you are...and I feel this benefit may be worth the risk of revealing your fetish to those you care about and who care about you. If she wouldn't accept you right away, she probably never would. But you are the one running the risk. I don't want you to be hurt, and obviously you don't want to be hurt, either! Whenever you choose to reveal your fetish to others is probably the right time for you.

Then again I AM mentally unstable but I don't think that is the cause of my fetish, I'm sure there are people with this fetish who are very well adjusted normal people, at least relatively because what is a truly well adjusted normal person anyway?

I didn't realize you feel you are mentally unstable. I agree your fetish has nothing to do with overall mental stability. What is a truly well adjusted normal person? I don't know for sure, but probably someone who can get up, go to work, find some pleasure in life, and not kill herself/himself or others. I'm usually considered to be *very* well adjusted (perhaps by people who don't know me well! ), and I've had my private moments of sobbing on the bathroom floor, when I probably look anything but well-adjusted.

And you do have a point, would most of us be sexually attracted to our partners if they were another gender? Nope. Maybe it is shallow but that's basic human nature which serves a basic biological need.

I guess it is hard for me to say if it is human nature, since I would classify myself as bisexual since I feel certain people of both sexes are sexually attractive.

[boo boo]

Well if you're bisexual it wouldn't really matter then but if you're a hetero then it's something you're thankful for, as in, you thank god that this person was born into the opposite sex.

[baldy1138]

Hi there. I just googled "acomophilia" and ended up here. And after reading this thread from beginning to end, it seems boo boo and I are in agreement on a good many things.

Anyway, thought I would pass on some insight from an acomophile who is a little older (Persis Khambatta got me started) and married.

If you really care about someone, it's always better to tell her about something like this. I told my wife-to-be when our relationship started to get serious. Turned out she already suspected, based on something I'd said or done. And it didn't bother her at all, because she cared about me, and knew I cared about her. It was a great exercise in trust.

At that time, she was the only person outside of an online forum who knew I liked bald women, and it felt great to be able to share that. We actually explored some of it together, so she'd better understand, and incorporated the fantasy somewhat into... you know. She even let me shave her head once, to my great delight, and this is the surprising thing. She was actually uncomfortable with just how much I liked it.

Seems odd to me, and probably to most guys, but it's apparently not that uncommon a reaction for a woman. It's that question you've already raised of how much of the attention was for her and how much was for the head. It's one thing to know you're fulfilling a lifelong fantasy, but quite another to experience the reaction, and wonder why it doesn't happen all the time. I absolutely agree that if you ever get the opportunity to fulfill your fantasy, this is where you need to tread carefully.

But as far as sharing your unusual taste in women's hairstyles, by all means, do it. It was a huge load off for me, and it's fun if you have a sense of humor. If my wife walks in and I'm watching, for example, Star Trek: The Motion Picture (innocently, I might add), she'll give me this slightly amused look like she's caught me watching something naughty. She did the same thing for Megaforce, in spite of my protests that Persis wasn't even bald in that movie. It's funny.

So, yes. Your acomophilia (I use the term more to denote an enthusiast, like an audiophile, than a sexual deviant) can be part of a healthy relationship. It's been my long-held opinion that everybody has some kind of a kink, but we don't hear about it because it's embarrassing to them, or at least deeply personal. There's a guy on a board I frequent who fantasizes about being swallowed by giant women, but it's harmless and he's otherwise perfectly normal. If you're willing to look at it with an open mind, and maybe use your imagination, his fetish is not that difficult to understand. Turns out it's not that uncommon.

A thing for bald women is tamer than a lot of fetishes enjoyed harmlessly by perfectly sane and healthy people. Best of all, you actually stand a chance of meeting a bald woman, or having one go temporarily bald for you, unlike the guy who wants a giant supermodel to swallow him and return him unharmed.

[boo boo]

Thank you very much for your advice fellow bald chick liking person.

I think the key for any fetishist who would want his partner to participate in stuff he likes is to find a girl that's pretty openminded and doesn't worry much about what other people think of her. Easier said then done though, a lot of girls unfortunately care a lot about what complete strangers think. Something I can't really understand, I don't care about what strangers think about me, only what the people close to me think about me, and I'd hope to find a girl who shares that point of view.

If she's the jealous type though I'm sure she would let me do it or otherwise she'd be giving every bald chick she says really dirty looks.

I'd want her to genuinely enjoy doing it though, I don't want to make her feel like a freak and just reluctantly be doing things to make me find her more attractive, because then I would feel like a douche.

But women do things to make themselves more attractive all the time, the way they do their hair, the way they dress, their makeup, their push up bras, their high heel shoes, shaving their legs. Both sexes put a great emphasis on how they look to attract the other sex, it's just hard for people to accept that people can be attracted to different things. Women do what they can to be presentable to their man but usually only when it's within the boundries of what is considered normal.

American culture and most cultures around the world are still pretty damn conservative about sex even if sex is everywhere these days. One thing that can't be controlled though is that paraphiliacs make up a huge majority of western society, people tend to look down on paraphiliacs because of how fetishes are associated with sexual offenders and sociopaths and what not, but fetishes are normal and common variations of human sexuality that should only be a concern if they involve inflicting harm on ones self or others.

Any non harmful fetish is fine no matter how bizarre or gross it may seem. And I'd imagine if you have a partner who is willing to take the extra step regarded to increase your sexual drive than I'd say everyone benefits in the end.

Oh and I have heard about getting eaten by giant women thing.

I also see you're into the virtual bald stuff which never did anything to me, it has to be organic and real, and the internet is not lacking real bald women at all you just have to know where to look. =D

[baldy1138]

The interesting thing is that what we would commonly call a paraphilia or fetish does not necessarily fit the clinical definition. I'm assuming bald women turn you on, but they are not essential to your sexual function. You can get aroused by a woman with hair. And you're obviously not obsessed with female baldness to the exclusion of other things - such as the women herself and what she feels. That is where the psychiatric profession appears to draw the line, when a turn-on becomes a necessity or an overriding obsession. You and I are perfectly normal, at least in that regard.

Actually, I'm not into the virtual bald stuff. My preference is pretty much exactly the same as yours. It has to be smooth and it has to be real. Bald caps and doctored photos don't count. The virtualheadshave.com domain is more of a marketing gimmick for a wide-ranging baldness-related eCommerce and blog site. It was originally based on a joke hat, with shaving cream and a razor embroidered on it - The Virtual Headshave. I designed a novelty video game to fit the theme, but never could overcome some of the technical limitations - both mine and the game engine's. Ended up giving that away as a viral marketing tool. It's just weird enough to wind up on people's blogs and lists of unusual online products. There's a torrent of it around if you're curious.

And if you want to check out the blog, the link is in my Sig.

[VEGANGELICA]

Originally Posted by baldy1138

Seems odd to me, and probably to most guys, but it's apparently not that uncommon a reaction for a woman. It's that question you've already raised of how much of the attention was for her and how much was for the head.

I understand someone feeling concern if a partner just seems to like her/him for certain physical attributes, whether it is a bald head or shaven legs, fancy outfit, make-up, muscles, etc. If a partner liked these superficial things about me so very much, then I might start to feel that who I am as a person didn't really matter to him. I'd start to think he should just get a blow-up doll, while I go on my own merry way being my own haired self.

I think expressing a fetish probably only works well in a relationship if the people involved know they love each other even if these physical characteristics weren't there.

Originally Posted by baldy1138

A thing for bald women is tamer than a lot of fetishes enjoyed harmlessly by perfectly sane and healthy people. Best of all, you actually stand a chance of meeting a bald woman, or having one go temporarily bald for you, unlike the guy who wants a giant supermodel to swallow him and return him unharmed.

This was new to me. It probably takes a lot of trust for someone to admit to a partner that this fantasy is a turn-on!

Originally Posted by Cressidagater

yes cressidagater likes. I hope you don't mind me saying but that reads to me like an erotic short story.

Really?? Hmmm. I sweat all the time out in the field. I never thought of it as having erotic potential! We aren't talking some feminine glow here. The sweat I'm talking about is like I'm-running-a-marathon-and-sweat-is-streaming-off-me underwear-soaked-through sweat. REALLY sweaty.