confession dump.

• Today I called a coworker at their register to emotionally batter them about their pathetic grip on vocabulary because he continually uses the word "convenience" when the word is "courtesy" when paging for a manager. He has no idea it was me.
  
• I keep a sizable collection of letters and cards sent to me since around 2007. I have no reason to hold on to many of those things (there are also tiny mementos of days passed with people I no longer care about) other than the comfort of knowing that I must have been interesting and charming enough to have so many people so smitten for me.
  
• I once felt that my hands were one of my best features but now I'm irrevocably self conscious due to the scars left from eczema.
  
• It amuses me to take long detours while placing product at work when a frightfully large person is in the way of my intended route.
  
• I don't think I'll ever be able to fully relate to another human being because of how displaced my soul is in this world. I don't think there will ever come a day when the time of my existence doesn't bother me. I expect to be filled with intrusive thoughts driving my discomfort of life in the 21st century for the rest of my life, and I'm becoming less bitter about it.
  
• I believe that most people are emotionally void, mentally vacant, and morally bankrupt. Sometimes I feel guilty for how much people irritate and disgust me, but I'm certain that my feelings are practical and realistic.
  
• I could probably live my entire life completely shitfaced, 24/7. I never feel better than I do when I'm drunk, or at least partially buzzed.
  
• I could literally spend days just touching/holding/kissing my significant other. Days. Nothing compares to the supreme privilege of his affection.

Listen. Best. Friend. I like to drink, and when I drink I'm fun.

Me too.

The only time I'm fun or even moderately interesting is when I'm drunk or on funny drugs.

Me too and it depresses me you pointed that out cause it rings too true.

I just issued a direct and sincere apology to an inanimate object, and then took it all back and told the object to **** off and that I'm better than it as a living, breathing person.

I'm not trying to belittle your suffering but honestly that really, really, really sounds like my kinda gig.. Are they hiring? Maryland can't be that bad.

Hearing the words never consoled me any but they may for you- I know exactly how you feel man. I've been trying to force myself to accept the fact that the world is never going to stop everything it's doing and conform to my standards... but goddammit it should! I don't think it's too much to ask, honestly. Substance abuse seems to have a troubling-ly funny way of alleviating the weight of the world's foulness.

Just do what I do---cultivate a near-sociopathic level of apathy.

you sound sheltered as **** to me.

I like most people that I see when I go to special gatherings but the introvert in me will probably never die, so I'm always caught between "please talk to me" and "please shut the hell up before I drive this fork into your goddamn eye" and alcohol just seems to help the situation 99% of the time. :laughing:

You sound like you really don't know me, so maybe you should also sound like shutting the fuck up.

Anyway, I just remembered that yesterday I was overhearing a conversation at the bus stop between some obnoxious smoker woman (who was telling an acquaintance of hers, weeks ago, that she has a cancerous tumor) and some other trashy bitch that she needed a new purse so she could shoplift in a more comfortable fashion. It made me glad she has a tumor because shoplifters deserve to be taken out back and shot in the face. Fucking trash.