i dun wanna get splooge in my burrito though :(

Then pull out. It's not rocket science.

The moment is lost. I ate it. It could've been magical but I ate it. Alas, there's still the bottles. But. You know. They don't fit. :\.

Go get some ground beef, pack it really hard and push a little hole in there. You're good to go.

EDIT: Kinda forgot you were a vegetarian. But still, you can check necrophelia and bestiality off of the list.

WD almost screwed a burrito last night.

How many more of you have ever been that drunk?

i got that drunk one time at work when i worked at this deli. i wasn't a drinker and i was basically experimenting so i stole a big bottle of wine (1500ml) and put it in the walk-in fridge and hit it from time to time. then i spiralled out of control and got too drunk and started dropping **** and customers could notice. then i went up to the register and this chick i knew asked me for a drink and i stole one for her but i did it too blatantly cause i was drunk and the manager asked me for a receipt and i said i don't have one. then he said go home and come back monday to talk which i took as i was getting fired so i went in the back and finished the wine (had about a half bottle left) to destroy the evidence. then i blacked out and apparently started threatening to kill the manager though i'm pretty sure i was joking (at this point i'm going off what other people told me). then the chick i stole the water for apparently tells me she likes me and i criticize her for telling me that **** while im drunk as **** cause i liked somebody else better. then they called the police/paramedics and apparently i was being a cocky bastard to them too. told them i was allergic to peanuts for some strange reason. then my dad's friend came to the rescue and picked me up and prevented me from getting arrested. then i tried to piss on my dad's recliner cause i thought it was a toilet. then i woke up the next day sick as ****.

That.... that's pretty drunk.

I've peed in my pants a few times, but... damn.

basically what happens when you dive head first into booze with no thought or experience to reference at all.

Did you get fired or was your boss awesome?