Do you take any ADD/ADHD meds??

Nope, & I was clean for at least 9 months before the test as well.

Weird

That sucks, but counseling is better than jail.

9 months clean & the coke still should up, holy ****, no ****ing way your test was compromised

I didn't actually have to go to counseling. I was held in a cell and the counselor had to interview me and she didn't think it was necessary, said I looked healthy so she said no need.

I actually sat for a long while last week and pondered suicide. It wasn't a plea for anything or a cry for help. I just didn't want to worry about anything or be culpable for anything anymore and just wanted to go away and not be anywhere anymore.

I am responsible for things though and had to drag myself out of that state of mind but I do have 2 teenage sons who should really be giving me something back emotionally or maybe I am just hoping for too much.

I hope you feel better, Lee :(

I'm glad to hear you pulled yourself out of it, man. You are responsible and you're a great person to know and the world is richer with you in it. Please remember that.

I am OK honestly but there was a few bad days last week when I didn't want to wake up ever.

To MB members who don't know me - I am not some doom monger on here bemoaning my life and painting a depressing pic on life. I am still here posting and enjoying music despite some bad days so I guess what I am saying to you is that we have to get through personal tragedy all the time no matter how trivial and still stay strong.

I contemplate suicide at least once every two weeks.