.





Just kiddin. But I saw a bit of an opportunity.

time to exorcise a pile of crap

my disdain towards traditional musical methods stems from the fact that my father was a one hit wonder in 1970. he left us 3 weeks after i turned 5 so his 40 year old ass could keep banging his little brother's 20 year old gf and be a 'star'. his mom called my mom and told her if she or anyone in her family helped me or my sister make sense of the reality of the situation or come to honest terms with the hand he dealt us we wouldn't have a father - because they were going to be 'stars' again, it was just a matter of time. then we'd all be taken care of and live happily ever after. :bringit:

lies upon half truths for over two decades later and my plan for turning 30 is suicide in his shed. one week before the big day, my mom makes a random comment about how my living situation with my roommate and his gf might suck but not as bad as the one with my uncle and my dad. a few minutes and a couple of choice questions later i'm livid and FINALLY starting to see things clearly.



and in keeping with the theme. i've got more fingers than times i've ever had sex (not counting thumbs). Boo Boo hasn't lived long enough to cross my line of messed up-ed-ness in regards to intimacy yet.

also - haloween 1998

You appear to have a sock... on your penis.

i prefer the term Frusciante-ing

I actually don't really want the helmetless motorcyclists to die, Duga. My friendly side wins over my malicious side. But I definitely have a malicious, misanthropic side...and I was feeling grumpy last night!

I do, though, wholeheartedly feel frustrated that motorcyclists are risking their lives for vanity...a stupid thing to do, because a bandana like this is going to do squat for them in an accident:

http://www.steinforcongress2010.com/...ley_shrunk.jpg

If I'm ever angry at someone (and am thinking or saying certain groups of people are "idiots"), it is usually because I feel sad first...and then that sadness transitions to anger. Partly I'm frustrated that Iowa doesn't have a helmet law and that people such as Harley riders behave like drones who copy each other without any individualism, supposedly in honor of individualism and freedom.

I'm sorry about what your dad did, Mr. Dave, and I'm glad you didn't kill yourself! And it's too bad you don't have the intimacy you want. I've sometimes had more "intimacy" than I've wanted...so I think it is a tough thing to ever have exactly like one wants. My feeling is that true intimacy has nothing to do with sex.

That's a cute photo of you! You look so happy! Socks are such versatile items of clothing. ;)

I love this so much.

Lmao!

thanks, though i feel he's as much of a victim in a sense as we were but whatever, i don't hate him, i'm just not close to anyone. luckily i've adopted a very zen outlook on life. i'm also sorry you've been forced into more substantial situations than what you expected or wanted. i had a stalker for a few years too. that was fun... and the reason i still don't have a single monthly bill in my name 7 years later - though... the Air concert she took me to kinda almost totally makes it worth it. almost. kinda.

i also agree true intimacy has nothing to do with carnal activities, to me it's about recognizing yourself within another and the desire to live for another lifetime through their eyes.

and yeah, college (which had just started a few weeks prior to that photo) was a freaking blast. ultimately worthless in the direct sense but absolutely invaluable to personal growth. i even had one instructor tell me she didn't recognize me with my pants on hahaha

Well, today's my 21st birthday and I'm already a bit tipsy so I might regret doing this later, but oh well. I know I'm new here and I doubt anyone really cares, but I'm going to go ahead and spill my guts because I have nobody else to talk to.

A survey of my love life: I started dating my first girlfriend when I was 16. I'd known her since I was 10, and she was closest friend in the world. We loved each other and we'd done eve3rything together, and I trusted her more than anybody. So naturally, she cheated on me, multiple times with multiple partners, and then she'd come home and brag to me about it, because apparently being honest made it ok and she saw no reason for me to be upset. After a few months, I finally got the stones to break up with her. You know what my friends told me? They told me it was MY FAULT and that I should've known better than to date a girl like her, so I deserved to be cheated on.

I dated a couple of girls after her, one of whom also cheated on me after only seven weeks into the relationship, but nothing incredibly major. Then I met a girl, Karen. I was 17 and she was 22, just out of college. We started dating and fell madly in love. After we'd been dating for a year, we talked about getting married. She said she never wanted to be with anybody else and that she loved me more than anything, and I felt the same way. Then she left. I have no idea why. She left in January of 2009, and she couldn't give me a reason. I never got any closure - one day I was madly in love with the girl of my dreams, the next day...well, I still was, but she wasn't there anymore. She just told me it was over and split. All I know is that she started seeing somebody else somewhere around July of 2009. When somebody showed me the picture of them together, just a few months ago, I wanted to kill myself. I almost did - I sent her my suicide note in the form of an email. While I managed to survive my suicide attempt, afterwards I discovered her response, which was "You need to leave me alone. I'm in a very serious relationship with the love of my life and can't deal with stuff like this." Well, I'm very f***ing sorry to be such an inconvenience when I contact you for the first time since we broke up, after over a year.

And ever since she left, everything's been downhill for me. My grades have gone down the toilet in classes I should be passing easily. I don't care about doing anything because nobody's around to care. My friends are jerks who I'll never get close to and my reltionships have all just crumbled. I don't blame her for my failings - I blame myself for my pathetic inability to get over a relationship almost two years dead. I have no motivation because who gives a crap what I succeed at or don't succeed at? I have nobody to talk to and I'm so lonely I don't know how much longer I can take it.

I don't mean to whine - to quote...somebody who I can't think of right now, I know my problems are meaningless, but that doesn't make them go away. And so, here I am drinking alone on my 21st birthday.

Sorry for bothering you all.

Fuck mate...I don't even know what to say, but I suppose "Happy Birthday" wouldn't be much of a good idea =/