Sequoioideae |
08-22-2013 12:35 AM |
I ooze embarrassing moments, and I suck at recoveries, I'm a walking awkward automaton, but anyway. I'm just going to go with one moment in my life that was embarrassing, not terribly so, but embarrassing.
So, last new years I tagged along with a group of co-workers to another co-worker's new apartment. It was decided we were to get shitfaced that night, which I was cool with. We all got into the tiny one room apartment with some other chick (whom I barely know) I work with who is fairly quiet, and I suck at breaking the ice, so I stand around barefoot with my hands in my pockets chiming in only when necessary. Everyone except me and quiet girl goes out for a smoke (I'm not a smoker, keep this in mind) so it was just the two of us, so I semi-awkwardly go outside and bum a cig to escape an awkward silence. We go back in, and my friend (who I work with and have known for 6 years) starts making mixed drinks, in plastic cups no less (classy as shit right there). I enjoy my screwdriver, and then comes the wine, it was that kind of wine that didn't have any hint of dryness at all, it was almost like some sort of alcoholic fruit punch. We're sitting around drinking, yucking it up, waiting for the new year (I think I remember a board game too?). I'm starting to get pretty wasted, but I said to myself "Hey man, it's okay to get fucked up tonight, don't worry about shit, just enjoy things". We're drinking the rest of the wine (I had a bottle and a half), and I think I had 3-4 screwdrivers at that time too. At this point, we're all talking about relationships, and I bring up this chick I really had a thing for, but this girl and I never got together (even though we went out a few times), they tried to convince me to drunk dial her. I don't care how messed up I am, I'm never, ever drunk calling some poor girl in the middle of the night. In comes co-worker's boyfriend, he decides to swing by and see what's up, and at that point I'm completely fucked up, so I'm laughing like an idiot chatting up co-worker's boyfriend about how glad we are that he came (I'm a stupidly happy drunk, and I absolutely love everyone and everything). We all decided to go out and smoke, and I decide to bum another cig, so there I am with a lit cigeratte in my hand swaying back in forth having a laughapocalypse, and BAM!, it hits me. I feel like my stomach was just punched by the mighty allah himself. I say calmly whilst swaying back in forth "Hey guys, I'm gonna be sick" and I stumble over to the hill near the patio of the apartment with a still lit cigarette and roll backwards, stand up briefly, collapse to my hands, and puke out my guts. I black out, and come to my co-workers helping me into the apartment, give me a blanket, and ask me to lay down. So there I am, by myself, smelling like puke, on my co-worker's floor. They come back in, and I ask what happened, apparently the boyfriend left because he thought I was underage and I apologized profusely to my co-worker to she replied "Eh whatever, this kind of says to me I don't really want to date him anyway". Quiet girl also left for the night, as she planned on leaving when we all went to bed (not exactly sure how to explain that, but she planned on leaving that night before she even arrived). The rest of them get ready for bed, and the night pretty much ends. I ended up being the last one to fall asleep, mainly due to making a complete ass out of myself.
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