When in an argument, what comebacks are you most proud of?
 

Personal favourites:

Woman: "You hate women."
Me: "How can I hate women? My mum's one."
Woman: :confused:

Woman: "You're drunk."
Me: "You're ugly, the difference is - I'll be sober in the morning."

Me: *Joke insinuating they were fat."
Friend of mine: "Was that a fat joke?"
Me: "No, you're a fat joke"

In college...
Me: "I will shag your nan."
Friend: "My nan's dead."
Me: "I will dig her up."
Friend: "She was cremated."
Me: "I'll make a love-paste."
Friend: :(
Me: :cool:

Regale me with tales of your best arguments where you quite clearly pwned them in the face.

If you are remembering comebacks in petty arguments, then your life priorities are probably a little off.

Also, none of the above are very funny.

I am a comeback .

Your face isn't very funny.

I guess my vote in the nominations thread for you was well worth it, Dirty.

:rofl:

Captain Caveman is the troll we wish Dirty was. :(

You want my comeback? Good luck.

Better hope your mother is bulimic.

Yeah, well he trolled himself to death. It's the curse of all trolls, basically.

Come on, man. I JUST voted for you for Best Thread Starter.

Another from college days.

Me: "You're such a wanker."
Friend: "No, you're the wanker."
Me: "If I wanted my own cum back, I'd have wiped it off your mother's chin."
Friend: :bowdown:

A vote you're not gonna regret.

.....

If someone used this on me I would just laugh.

Dirty might be the biggest troll, but my God he's the worst.

I'm sure he doesn't even get a reaction out of Dayna anymore. :laughing:

How did Caveman get banned again? What was the final straw?

You can't take credit for this, Winston Churchill said it,thief

Didn't know.
That said, Winst is the man. :cool:

Here's a little one I remember.

Friend: "The makers of Lost just make it up as they go along."
Me: "It's an old filmmakers trick. They call it writing."

Conan. :cool:

:rofl:

Dad: Have some roasted red red peppers. They're good for the prostrate.

Me: I don't have to shove them up my ass, do I?

I don't get into a lot of arguments, so I don't really keep track.

I've used a variation of this one before though...

Me: Is it going to be fancy dress again for tonight's match?
City fan: Fancy dress?????
Me: Yeah. When half the City fans go dressed as empty blue seats!

Friend: Man you're stupid.
Me: Your mom is stupid.

Haha, those are brilliant.

^ They are, but they don't sound like arguments haha...

I knew this whacked out girl in highschool. She lived an hour + away and was the only hippy I've ever met who was a super athlete. We got into this "who's faster" brawl once and she comes up, at one point with, "I was born with running shoes on my feet."

"those were hooves."

Victory to TheBig3.

When I was a little kid my brother used to always tease me about how often I'd start sentences with "you know what's weird". The last time he did it went like this...

Me: You know what's weird—
Him: People with four heads?
Me: What's so weird about people with foreheads?

I don't recall the exact situation, but a buddy of mine was rambling on about some mess for quite some time. He was trying to convince us that he was right about something but he was obviously wrong. After he laid his spiel, I replied with a simple "Dude, you have autism..."

I know it doesn't seem like much, and maybe it's an inside thing, but the look on his face was priceless and that moment still holds legend between my friends.

I think the best comeback is to simply fart silently, then stare vacantly at your opponent for however long it takes.

I got into an argument one time that i got really heated in and finally to end it i told this person i wouldn't piss in their mouth if there teeth were on fire....zoops!

I got told one time with this (possibly homophobic) one...

Me (to friend who is drinking pepsi): Pepsi is a poor man's coke.
Him: Butthole is a poor man's vagina.

It would've been better if it went like this

Me: Pepsi is a poor man's coke
Him: Vagina is a poor man's butthole.

i was arguing with a friend and another good friend was totally brown nosing and sticking up for her all the way through our arguement i eventually got sick of it and said "mate, shut the **** up. And while you're there, wipe the shyte off the end of your nose." not my proudest moment, but it comes to mind when its 1am and i cant think :)