The Science

djchameleon · 03-01-2011, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonlitSunshine

dj, I couldn't help but notice when reading through this thread that you often seem to favour a very... openly aggressive stance when it comes to confrontations. Like, in the whiskey situation, your hindsight response was to rip into the guy (in his own store, where he probably had the upper ground in any confrontation) and basically make a battle of it. The was another situation in thre thread where you talked about a similar situation where you would have eaten the guy's face off had you thought about it at the time (I can't remember the exact details, but the response was the same). I'm just wondering, are you of the opinion that this is the best thing to do, if you want to impress a girl watching the whole thing?

I don't mean to undermine you or anything, but where I'm from, blowing up because of a nasty comment is a sign of insecurity, which would be picked up on instantly by any girl. The fact that you would react so aggressively to the comment just shows that the other guy managed to hit you where it hurts. In my society, it's better to either roll with it and make a joke out of it (and make the girl laugh), or make a calm, slightly stabbing rebuttal implying that they have no clue what they're on about (Implying that you are totally unfazed by their meagre attempt to put you down). The instant you react aggressively is the instant you lose.

For example, I would ascribe much more to boozin's approach to the situation: basically ignoring his attempts to clear you out like he's not there, maybe keep asking him and the girl questions while you wander around the shop to frustrate him. Obviously, he wants to chat up the girl, and there's no way you're gonna manage it while he's there (indefinitely :P) so you may as well screw his chances even more, and hell, if you're funny enough in the process, you might get the girl on your side against him (especially if he reacts aggressively to your calm conversation). However, if you started going on about how he needed to take his cialis... it allows him to protray you as the bad guy, the stuck up young one trash talking him in his own store. If he's in any way experienced (which he probably is, owning a liquor store), he'd shut down that sort of approach in no time, just making you look like an idiot.

In other words: as soon as you accept his challenge, you put him on equal footing with you. You don't know how good he's gonna be at putting you down, and he's on his home turf with a much greater "piss off and leave" advantage than you have. The only way you can end the confrontation is by acceding to his demands that you leave, so as soon as you start it, all he has to do is stand his ground and eventually he'll come out looking better. But if you ignore his attempts to set up the fight, you can shoot him down without offering him a chance to level the playing field.

However, this could just be a difference between our societies. How would that go down where you're from? I guess it's all too possible that our cultures are just that different.

That was very well said and I should try that approach as opposed to the way I was thinking about putting him down but the girl in the store would have admired my tact regardless because she seemed like the type that liked aggressive guys that are confident and stand their ground even if they are losing the battle.

The "cialis" comment would have been made as a joke in an attempt to get the girl to laugh. It would all boil down to how I deliver my insults. There are different ways I could have handled the situation like you said and of course it depends on the girl that I'm trying to impress would make me change up my strategy on how to handle it. There is a lot of room for error but it's best to play it by ear and wing it.

I wasn't even there to really hit on the girl though or try to get a date with her or anything. I just took the opportunity that she came into the store to playfully flirt with her.