So sorry to hear about Anthony. I hope his family can find peace.

Depression is about finding the joy in a life you can't truly ever make sense of or feel in control of. At least to me.

For me it's an endless struggle to remain "here". I never particularly ever wanted to kill myself. I just kind of want to be dead sometimes. I love life and try to make the best out of my short time here but sometimes the darkness comes back and I just don't want to exist anymore.

I think a thread for this is needed after the last one was locked and hasn't been unlocked.

Homeboy was around sixty, so around two or three times our age. Two for me. Just imagine how much misery you could accumulate in that time. Just imagine how many of your true friends might drift away in that time. Not because you weren't true friends, but **** just happens. Imagine what your conception of what life even is, what friendship is in that time. Jesus Christ.

I don't even know how people live that long. What even is 40? If someone like that seemed happy and fulfilled and important to the world at large for that long and then hung themself then what does that say about all of us? What the **** even is this?

I'm sorry, I'm not even thinking about what you're thinking about, I'm just thinking about life in general. I have less than 10 years till I'm 40 and it sounds like the absolute most alien age you could ever live to. Before 40 it's bizarre, when you're creeping up on it it's absolute no less bizarre cause you still think you're a child, and then when you reach it what the **** even is your brain? And then the next 20, 30, 40 years? Jesus.

I applaud this dude for going through all that misery and making it to 60 and making his life worth living. That's some horrifying and claustrophobic ****. **** pretending that any of us are on a level of an adult. "Adult" is nonsense, we're all just hoping that our lives aren't miserable for decades if we even know what decades are.

30 is still the first one that says hi loser this is all you’re going to be

By 40 you’ve had ten years to come to terms with your mediocrity

What 40 tells you is that the life you made peace with at 30 sucks rich or poor healthy or sick

50 is like ****ing Christ am I gonna get cancer or heart disease or do I even have to do that on my own

I don't post in here often, but god damn.. Bourdain is a heavy loss :(

I've been feeling it all day.

I imagine going to some of the countries he's been to and seeing some of the conditions people lived in could be fairly depressing.

Doesn't really mean anything if he's been struggling with depression. It's not always an environmental. It's not always black and white. My whole family has history of depression. Sometimes I'll wake up in a great mood and suddenly I could honestly want to kill myself. That's the reality.