Thanks for bumping this.

I have another tragic story from my early years, the summer of the same year as the above story just after I'd moved to where I live now (so I was 12 again). I was hanging out with a couple of girls from my road and their friends, and apparently one of the girls from my road fancied me (according to her friends). I didnt believe this at all, I thought it was a way for them to have a joke at my expense by making me ask out this girl and her say no, then I'd have been really embarrassed. So I just ignored them completely.

Then on the weekend of the Queen's golden jubilee celebrations, our road had a street party and I played football with everyone else pretty much all day, til about 10pm. At that point they stopped football and started a disco instead. I was sitting down, having a drink and some food, when this girl who supposedly fancied me came and asked me if I wanted to dance with her.... and I replied 'no, I'm too tired, I've been playing football'.

Apparently she really did fancy me, and I flat out rejected her in front of her friends and family. They never spoke to me again.

I've never attempted to lure the opposite sex, but I did once tackle a boy and kiss him because my best friend in 1st grade said she wouldn't be my friend anymore if I didn't.

Haha.

That reminds me of one of my first days of middle school, a pretty girl offered to give me a blowjob. I stammered "no thank you" and promptly went home to figure out what blowjobs were.

Most guys would've started tying a noose following that.

You guys suck, I never get girls to ask me out, only ones that were annoying and unattractive. I haven't gone fishing for girls in years, but I was horrible at picking up chicks. I'd just talk to chicks while we waited for our buses and they would tell me to leave them alone. I'm so unattractive and awkward it's not even funny.

It seems more likely to me that you depress them than repulse them, just an observtion.

This may not totally fit as I gave up attracting the opposite sex sometime around my sophomore year of college--there's a story there that I promise you aren't interested in, but basically I am happy and me now.

Anyhow, I get on bars/chairs/tables ect and dance. It is my signature drunk move for some ungodly reason (that and going to people I don't know and making them tell me the weakness, fears, strengths, hopes, dreams and partaking in a life-solving session). While this may not sound that bad let me clarify by saying what terrible, awful, horrendous, awkward dancer I am. Like all the 80s bad moves combined into the body of tall blonde girl--the other week I was told this delightful number:

"you know for such an attractive girl you have the movement of a penguin on ice"

and while I do appreciate a good metaphor (as do cows, har har), I got the point--keep dancing.

Also I once stood outside someone's room with a boombox

Also I am John Cusack

Also I am lying about everything in this post


One of those statements is the true--paradox dance.

Well, one thing I suck at is hitting on people. First off, I'm not the most attractive person on the planet. My teeth are a mess, my face always has an unhappy pout on it and I always look terribly bored when nobody's talking to me. I just scream "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME"

but when somebody does decide to talk to me, I always end up saying something stupid. Once, I referenced the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, another time, I told some guy that I like learning to program in my free time (he walked away from me at that point. I sounded so lame). And if I have a crush on a guy, for some reason I do stupid **** to get his attention. Like, to appear smart in front of him. I once was stuck in detention with a guy so I started reading the michio kaku book and made sure he saw that the book was on physics and that I can understand what's going on.

it turns out, that he really didn't care that I was smart :(

EDIT: I also try to appear really weird in front of him. Hoping he would think that it's cute. I wore a threee year old's dinosaur costume to school, and people thought I was awesome but he really didn't give a ****.

^^ I'm not saying this about you, so please don't take it the wrong way. But the general male reaction goes something like:

Plain, intelligent girl: Eh.
Attractive bimbo: Meh.
Cute, intelligent girl: OH MY GOD SHE UNDERSTANDS PARTICLE PHYSICS I WANT HER NEED HER MUST MARRY HER.

It's the reason why Zooey Deschanel will always be more attractive than Kim Kardashian. Always.