Stupid things you've done to attract the opposite sex
 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...nter/EGG03.pngAbout 11 years ago (I'd have only been 11) there was a girl who used to live across the street from me, she and her family moved in about a month after we did and their background was similar to ours; they came from the same areas and knew alot of the same people we did, she in fact went to school with alot of people I hung around with but somehow we'd never met. She was 13, and I swear was the sexiest thing my young eyes had ever seen.

I had no game whatsoever. I was still in the mindset that you are when you're young, I just went up to her and asked if she wanted to be friends and that was how we started talking. She introduced me to music as a pastime really, before that I'd always only listened to the radio in the car, or whatever my parents were listening to. She showed me what music was cool at the time, and what she liked, stuff like Craig David and Eminem.

I listened and learned about the music, and more importantly her, for months. This is where it gets really bad though. I started watching the music channels... and taping songs that she liked onto VHS, so I could re watch them and try to learn the words.... to then sing them when she was around to get her attention more. The worst part was that I never knew what song was going to be next, so I'd sit around for hours watching the music channels for these songs, and then press record. I eventually built up an hour or more of her songs (none of which had the start of the song where I didnt react to the opening in time) and learned the words to them.

Then in some awkward Romeo and Juliet type scenario, we'd be watching her tv... her from inside and me outside the house with her shouting to me from where she was sitting, and when a song that she liked came on I was able to sing it for her as well as it being on tv.

I also saved up pocket money for weeks and built up to asking her out to eat somewhere, which wasnt made easy by the fact that SOMEHOW her parents and my parents knew I fancied her, and were teasing me about her non stop. I eventually did ask her out, I was shítting bricks though. I have never been so nervous about a girl in my life, she said yes though, and I took her to McDonalds (:afro:).

I got my first kiss from her shortly after my 12th birthday, that was a disaster as well though. We went to the park around the corner from where we lived and played basketball (I have no idea why). On the walk home she started holding my hand, then stopped me walking when there was no one around and we started kissing. I had no idea what I was doing really, there is the possibility I puckered , and may have got a boner as well :(.

That is seriously one of the sweetest things I've ever read. Aside from some of the pop culture related things you mentioned that could be an episode of The Wonder Years.

What ever happened to her?!

Never ask that question... the answer may just involve the word 'trunk' and/or 'shovel'.

^ :laughing:

That is very sweet though EvilChuck.

I wrote a poem to a guy I liked at my hall/dorms and he pinned it on his wall. Unfortunately he had a girlfriend but he never stopped wanting me back.

She broke it off after i nailed her and took her to burger king.

Stupidest thing i ever did was try to awake the girl at 11pm at night with a lil rock thrown at her window. Window shattered into a million pieces and her dad was out in seconds ready to strangle me. I paid for the window with my paper route for months and i never even got a peck on the cheek. They don't make windows like the used to.

i used to really fancy this girl at my tuition class whom I thought would be impressed by me singing Smiths' songs at the top of my voice

obviously, she later married one of my enemies

You see, at the age of eleven, I was confident, and happy. There was this one dude, who I thought was kind of cute, and I was at a pool party. I tried doing some kind of "sexy" swimming move, but the fact that I never took swimming lessons finally caught up to me.

To sum it all up, unless if the lifeguard is the one you want, don't try to be sexy while swimming.
I nearly died that day.

Say to a girl who worked in a bakery (at a party) that she had great muffins, fall over drunk, pass out. Wake up in the bathroom & chat to her friend while she's sitting on the toilet having a dump, fall asleep again and then almost fall out of a 2nd story window while asleep.

hahaha that's really solid. The bathroom part reminds me of when I was like 18 and went to the beach with some friends for a week of boozing. And we met 4 hott girls and invited them back to our room for drinks. And i drunkenly cornered one of them in the bathroom and insisted I had heard that she was a bad kisser and she had to prove me otherwise. Of course that failed and I am happy I left that week with no sexual assault charges filed. I later passed out in that bathroom with no pants and woke up with my head in the toilet and my hair gelled with vomit.

I've never done anything real stupid to attract or impress girls. The dumbest thing was back in highschool when I knew jack shit about girls and I would spend every night talking to this one girl from another school who I had a huge crush on. Like we would fall asleep with each other on the line. God I was gay. And I remember hanging out with her a lot and stuff, oblivious to what the friend zone was. Eventually I realized and started dating someone else. So I introduced her and hooked her up with my friend and they dated awhile. Then one night I blew up and told her how I wasted like a year being her shoulder to cry on and therapist and i just ranted about how pissed i was for a long time. I shouldn't have burned that bridge completely, she got really hott and slutty in college. But afterwards she said I was jealous of my friend who dated her which really pissed me off since I was the one who got them together. And it turned out, I eventually hated my friend for other reasons. So I made a diss track against both of them lol.

DISS TRACK
-Ignore the very last part, its me dissing some lame rapper i knew. he later tried to fight me in my apartment and once at the bar lol

lol pretty funny listening back on that. halfway through the song theres a little skip in the lyrics. It's cause she heard the song and called me crying and said she was gonna call the cops so i edited out the word "kill" cause in the song i said i was gonna murder her.

Being a shoulder to cry on is no waste of time mate. I'm sure you'll find that out some time :D.

Chuck, just read your story. Doesn't seem too bad to me.
I always take my time so I never do something stupid. I make sure I know what I'm doing.

It absolutely is in a lot of cases. If you are trying to friendzone yourself and have no chance of hooking up with or dating her, being the constant shoulder to cry on is a great way to go about it. That's probably the dumbest thing I've done to impress or attract a girl. Just being there too much, feeling like I was doing the smart thing by talking to them about whatever problems and just trying too hard to make them happy. Typical high school lessons learned I suppose.

went and sang her bobcaygeon on the front door step. hence she HATED tragically hip and didn't know the song (neither did i really) we've been living together for 2 years now.

lol nice story Evilchuck, I was waiting for the bitter ending but it turned out pretty well :thumb:

Man my whole high school years was me doing stupid stuff to impress girls. I mean like, drink the yoghurt we made in science class/set yourself on fire/climb the block roof sort of stupid. I was loud as a joker, but tbh under it I was pretty damn shy though, so anytime the girl of my affections started giving me attention and was like "that was so funny, why'd you do it " I'd just go "STFU I LIKE YOGHURT"

No game, it's not even funny.

There was one girl who imo was probably the hottest in the year/school (the other years were full of mingers anyways) I actually used to develop a stutter around her, and be unable to form comprehendable sentences. She was freakin hot and cool as well. hot cool lol. She was talking about michael jackson once (this was before the pedo escapades) and I wanted to get up and do the moonwalk or something, I spent like my entire childhood listening to Jacko. Everyone else was ripping on jacko, and a few losers were just saying they liked him cos the girl was hot.

I never had the confidence to ask her out, I always considered myself a sort of like that thing that washes up out of the plughole when the drains are blocked. SHould have gone for it, definitely regret it.


The stupid thing that I did, was not believing in myself. :bringit:

Friend zone ****ing sucks in too many ways man. Before I knew about friend zone, I was chatting to a girl online for months, and then midway I heard about the whole friend zone thing from my mate, I panicked and lost control, went up to her the next day and asked her out. Her loud mouth moose friend started laughing and butting in and before the girl could even say anything, I'd turn it into a ****ing buddy meeting I was like "oh I meant just as friends, just friends, yeah sure you comne too, everyone bring a friend!!!"""

FNJKHFSDJSADFNSAMNNFA<>VNMADVNJADNVHJDAVHFKAVNF MOOSE

moose had nice big tits.


I didnt mean just as friends why the hell I dont even. moose put me on the spot ffs I dont think the girl liked me anyway, I dunno. Because I panicked, I effectively friendzoned myself. But it doesnt bother me too much, its alright cos I'm actually a really crap friend.

lawl.
I hadn't actually noticed who wrote all that until I got to the end. you stills got no game bruh!

Hey Tommy Boy did you ever get to second base with that one girl you were on about. :laughing:

who the hell are you how do you know what game I got

He meant my post. He and I know each other from elsewhere

The real comedy of his statement is tommyboy has less game then a dice game with no dice. :band:

oh right lol, well that's dumb, if you ask me for a 12 year old what you pulled was pretty good game dude, respect, I was 12 in the stuff I posted and on top of that I couldnt open a can of corned beef

****in key why is there a key on it

Unless you're man enough to know how to get a sympathy fuck out of her, yes it is a waste of time.

Aaahh, pity sex. Is there any other kind

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...nter/EGG03.png

Struggle cuddles!

I'm a fan.

You don't wanna know trust me. :jailed:

I just saw this.

I bumped into her yesterday, which is what prompted me to make the thread. She's put on alot of weight and has 2 kids now, and honestly looked terrible for a 23 year old (24 in May). As bad as it sounds, if I saw her now I wouldnt look twice unless it was to point out how much of a mess she looked to my friends :(

Sad.

I don't think I've really done anything to attract the opposite sex. I've had men do some weird things to attract me. But dudes, some of the dorky things you do are really endearing to us, just sayin.

When I'm just looking for a hookup or something, I actually have some game. It amazes me that I really don't even have to try that hard. If it's someone I'm actually into, it gets ridiculous. I don't know what happens to me, but I become the most awkward individual on the planet.

One of the weirder things I've done...I found out from a friend of mine the kind of music a girl I was interested in was into. With that knowledge, I made a mix CD with music I was into which complemented artists she liked, in addition to putting artists she liked on the CD. I then was hanging out with a mutual friend of me and the girl I was into, and gave her friend the CD. (I said something along the lines of, "Dude, I made a CD for you. I've been making everyone CDs lately, and I almost forgot..." and she popped it in, and seemed to dig it...) I knew all along that she was going to picking the girl I was into up later on in the evening from rehearsal. And as such, the girl was going to be in the car, and my friend would definitely be listening to the CD I just "burnt her".

So, I played the waiting game. Awesomely enough, the next day, the girl I'm into came up to me and said, "I didn't know you're into Imogen Heap!" and I was like, "Yeah, I love Imogen Heap!" (I'd put "Hide and Seek" on the CD because I knew she loved that song.) She then asked me my favorite album. I had no idea. Finally, I remembered that one of the albums was Speak For Yourself, but I think she was already onto me and knew that I was full of shit.

I still to this day have no idea why I thought that was a good idea, nor do I know why I claimed to have any knowledge of this girl's favorite artist when I knew maybe two songs by Imogen Heap. How I thought I'd be able to pull that one off is beyond me.

i never do stupid things to pull men, and thats why i pull men.

you've already "pulled" me for one

That's the sweetest story ever.

Me probably wasting half my life being a guys shoulder to cry on because I fancied him.

Or driving from Stirling back to South Lanarkshire to see a guy and 'have a smoke with him' which was actually only a smoke :/

Thanks for bumping this.

I have another tragic story from my early years, the summer of the same year as the above story just after I'd moved to where I live now (so I was 12 again). I was hanging out with a couple of girls from my road and their friends, and apparently one of the girls from my road fancied me (according to her friends). I didnt believe this at all, I thought it was a way for them to have a joke at my expense by making me ask out this girl and her say no, then I'd have been really embarrassed. So I just ignored them completely.

Then on the weekend of the Queen's golden jubilee celebrations, our road had a street party and I played football with everyone else pretty much all day, til about 10pm. At that point they stopped football and started a disco instead. I was sitting down, having a drink and some food, when this girl who supposedly fancied me came and asked me if I wanted to dance with her.... and I replied 'no, I'm too tired, I've been playing football'.

Apparently she really did fancy me, and I flat out rejected her in front of her friends and family. They never spoke to me again.

I've never attempted to lure the opposite sex, but I did once tackle a boy and kiss him because my best friend in 1st grade said she wouldn't be my friend anymore if I didn't.

Haha.

That reminds me of one of my first days of middle school, a pretty girl offered to give me a blowjob. I stammered "no thank you" and promptly went home to figure out what blowjobs were.

Most guys would've started tying a noose following that.

You guys suck, I never get girls to ask me out, only ones that were annoying and unattractive. I haven't gone fishing for girls in years, but I was horrible at picking up chicks. I'd just talk to chicks while we waited for our buses and they would tell me to leave them alone. I'm so unattractive and awkward it's not even funny.

It seems more likely to me that you depress them than repulse them, just an observtion.

This may not totally fit as I gave up attracting the opposite sex sometime around my sophomore year of college--there's a story there that I promise you aren't interested in, but basically I am happy and me now.

Anyhow, I get on bars/chairs/tables ect and dance. It is my signature drunk move for some ungodly reason (that and going to people I don't know and making them tell me the weakness, fears, strengths, hopes, dreams and partaking in a life-solving session). While this may not sound that bad let me clarify by saying what terrible, awful, horrendous, awkward dancer I am. Like all the 80s bad moves combined into the body of tall blonde girl--the other week I was told this delightful number:

"you know for such an attractive girl you have the movement of a penguin on ice"

and while I do appreciate a good metaphor (as do cows, har har), I got the point--keep dancing.

Also I once stood outside someone's room with a boombox

Also I am John Cusack

Also I am lying about everything in this post


One of those statements is the true--paradox dance.

Well, one thing I suck at is hitting on people. First off, I'm not the most attractive person on the planet. My teeth are a mess, my face always has an unhappy pout on it and I always look terribly bored when nobody's talking to me. I just scream "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME"

but when somebody does decide to talk to me, I always end up saying something stupid. Once, I referenced the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, another time, I told some guy that I like learning to program in my free time (he walked away from me at that point. I sounded so lame). And if I have a crush on a guy, for some reason I do stupid **** to get his attention. Like, to appear smart in front of him. I once was stuck in detention with a guy so I started reading the michio kaku book and made sure he saw that the book was on physics and that I can understand what's going on.

it turns out, that he really didn't care that I was smart :(

EDIT: I also try to appear really weird in front of him. Hoping he would think that it's cute. I wore a threee year old's dinosaur costume to school, and people thought I was awesome but he really didn't give a ****.

^^ I'm not saying this about you, so please don't take it the wrong way. But the general male reaction goes something like:

Plain, intelligent girl: Eh.
Attractive bimbo: Meh.
Cute, intelligent girl: OH MY GOD SHE UNDERSTANDS PARTICLE PHYSICS I WANT HER NEED HER MUST MARRY HER.

It's the reason why Zooey Deschanel will always be more attractive than Kim Kardashian. Always.