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Old 04-14-2012, 08:49 AM   #101 (permalink)
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That's what I was thinking. I think the kid lives with it's dad but still, finding this out Is a turn off. Yet not completely, im not gonna lie to myself, I'd probably give it a try if i had the chance. I'm not proud of that. I'm realizing i have some problems when it comes to relationships.

Has anyone ever been suspicious that someone likes you? For example, you think they've given you signs but you're not sure and it drives you crazy just wanting to know if they like you even if you don't know if it's something you'd like to get into? It's happening to me, I just want to know if this person likes me like I was thinking. It's aggravating.
It's dad? Lol.

I know how ya feel when it comes to not knowing if someone 'liking' you. I summed it up to self-doubt in my case, I didn't think she would want to be with someone like me. Turns out she did but was waiting for me to act more confident and take a swing. Whoops. Lesson learned, though. I suppose your case is a little different but it could be the same issue. Do you doubt yourself a lot?

...

I've been stressin on finding a new job, how my current coworker is a self righteous arrogant dickhole with fartbreath, finding a new apartment that's not on the outskirts of the city with a bunch of scary ghetto people that wanna kill/mug/sell bad drugs to me, and meeting some new people/a purdy ladyfolk.
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:29 AM   #102 (permalink)
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Anyone ever been in a relationship with an older woman (like 4 or 5 years older) who has a kid?
Mrd00d is right, generally speaking don't do this. Fact of the matter is, the child and BOTH of their parents will always be a factor (unless one or both are horrible people in which case you should AVOID). Another red flag is the fact that you say the child lives with their father, generally speaking that's a concern, how responsible / mature is this actual mother? That's really the thing here, you're talking about dating a MOM. Unfortunately for you if she's a worthwhile mother then you should always be 2nd fiddle to her baby if push comes to shove. If she's not a worthwhile mother then you're going to be dealing with all sorts of drama and emotional baggage (and likely some form of manipulation / mental abuse).

The age difference can be pretty substantial too, especially if it's between early and late 20s, but the addition of a child is a completely different league. On the other hand, just because she has a child doesn't always mean she wants you as replacement father, but in these cases do recognize that you're little more than a temporary plaything.

Communication (the challenging, honest and direct kind) is vital in any relationship, but even more so when there's a child involved.

You say you'd give it a try if you had the chance. What is it exactly you want to try? The ONLY thing this woman is offering more than the average single girl you'll meet is a child and the massive pile of stresses and issues that go along with being a single parent with a Ex who will always be in the picture unless one of them wants to abandon their child. If that sounds appealing to you, you might need therapy, but if not, then do it up I guess . Otherwise, say thanks, let her know you're flattered, but that you don't feel that you're mature enough to take on the responsibilities of a relationship with a single parent. Who knows, maybe all she really wants is a friend with benefits while the child is away (in which case, wrap it up and knock yourself out! )

Whatever you do, don't lead her (and yourself) on by saying what you think needs to be spoken or whatever misguided 'right' thing rom-coms have drilled into so many heads. Be honest with yourself, then be clear with her. I know it seems selfish to focus on yourself first but ultimately you need to be comfortable with who you are and what you want from a relationship to the point where you can communicate that clearly to your partner before any real intimacy starts happening. Otherwise you'll likely never find yourself in a mutually satisfying successful long term relationship.
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I type whicked fast,
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:24 PM   #103 (permalink)
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I was wrong about not loving my boyfriend anymore, he's fed me all week and picked me up just so I can nap in his bed.

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Old 04-18-2012, 04:24 AM   #104 (permalink)
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flowers!
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Old 04-19-2012, 12:00 AM   #105 (permalink)
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We're preparing tofu. So that's on my mind right now.
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:48 AM   #106 (permalink)
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Pretty much cried at least once a day the past while. I don't even know why really. Consistent sadness.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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