The stupid facebook status thread.
 

Copy and paste, then roast....

"For every one of us, today is here. It's a new day from the last. It's a day that can be thought out with good intentions, or negative ones. We all have an amazing gift that needs to be utilized more. The gift of being able to change your perspective and outlook on life. Yesterday may have brought hardships. Today may bring more. Just know that you have the power to gear your emotions towards a brighter light within yourself. Life is a roller coaster for each one of us. You can either ride in fear, or you can decide to let go and ride in joy!"

This is advice from a guy who is like 23. "Pussification of america."

Ronan Keating said the same thing....

Well, there's some idiot I went to high school with who keeps posting NRA shit in his status updates all the time. That's annoying.

What do you have against the National Raccoon Association, huh???

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...S7At2j1INGVOli

"here are some markers, and start drawing on yourself! smh you are ****ing 11!! stupid ass girls now a days." from some paged that i liked

So many misspellings, I'm not even sure what happened. I assume that autamin is ottoman, though.

I discovered both of these gems.

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/l...nickelback.png

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/l...ohtheirony.png

Ok let me give you a quick look at one girls Facebook activity over the last 24 hours.

STATUS: Ooooo all ready a have a vodka in my hand be rude not to lol x x

PHOTO: (Self taken in the mirror) All ready apart from the rollers lol x x

PHOTO: Blurry, self taken, of her and a female friend of hers.

PHOTO: With a different friend.

PHOTO: With both female friends, together.

** Ok there are now FOUR more like this. Posted individualy, all of her and one female friend at a time.**

STATUS: A swear my prayers have been answered walked in the dogs full of men love it x x

STATUS: A have a dick like a needle but a go like a sewin machine seriously mate he was like u have massive tits tell me something a dont no dick

STATUS: Newcastle here I come x x

STATUS: just got home fab nite pissed and sore feet but its all good nite nite all x x

STATUS: Ooooooo :-( x

STATUS: I am dyin lol a need food and headache tablets xx

STATUS: I have lost my voice lol and my feet r a right mess off new shoes and no shoes a need a Sunday dinner someone make is one xxx

*** There are now THREE more photos, again posted individually and again very similar to the others. I had to look twice to be sure she hadnt uploaded the same ones again. ***

STATUS: Gettin sorted then a walk to the shop a think a need fresh air and crisps lol and headache tablets xx

Now, I don't know about you but I think that this girl maybe went out for a drink last night.

Right, I'm going to attempt this: correct punctuation inserted at no extra charge...

So i tricked Tyler, my 2 year old cousin, into following the dot on my tv. (I don't know what that means: sounds like the old "telly's over" dot you used to get when, well, telly was over for the night, but no-one does this anymore. Eveyrwhere is either 24-hour or runs those bloody infomercials through the night, or links to shopping channels. However, we press on...) Little did he know i had the tv on full blast. Then all of a sudden the scary maze graudge (I'm assuming "Grudge", from the movie?) girl pops up out with the scream. Tyler jumped back, making me fall. He gets up runs into my ottoman, falls down, gets up crying and runs to aneela. Hahahahahahahaha. I bet he'll stop putting his mily
(Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montanta?) on my tv now (presumably in the DVD, since I doubt her two-year old brother is on the board of broadcasting decisions for Disney Channel!)

Despite the misspellings, it seems like a cruel and nasty (and very immature) thing to do to what is essentially a baby. Little bitch. :(

...seriously?

Yeah, I know.

Another one.

That one sorta reminded me of a white version of FPK.

The absolute best is "Where can you buy Peeps in August?"

Does that fat ****er ever use a TOILET??? :yikes:

I've been watching this enthralling storyline take place.

http://s8.postimage.org/dahr18pd1/inbred_1.png

http://s12.postimage.org/ibpyu45ot/inbred_2.png

http://s13.postimage.org/nnvnlg16v/inbred_3.png

http://s15.postimage.org/n1j990dxn/inbred_4.png

http://s9.postimage.org/3ww2t98bj/inbred_5.png

Ah, inbreeding. You've really outdone yourself.

I love how he threatens to kill the person responsible, then admits he doesn't know who it is! Mind you, in the fourth panel, at the bottom, my translation skills failed and I have no idea what he was saying! WHy does he think going on Jeremy Kyle (assuming they'd have him) will solve his problem? No-one else there lost or had money stolen? Today's big story... it's hardly a ratings-grabber, is it?

The Scot just do not speak English.

To translate what was said;

Yes, I am thinking about it. It's the only way I will find out who is responsible because the 'scum' cannot admit to this themselves. Nevertheless I shall find out who took my money.

I believe he is under the impression Jeremy Kyle would be able to solve his conundrum for him. As he cannot fathom who the thief was.

I bet it's not even much --- twenty quid? Fifty? Certainly not worth doing someone in over, even if he knew who it was...

Facebook is a narcissist's playground, I fhucking hate that website and the bell-ends that make it their life.

"only 4 more sleeps until malia 2k12 wiv da girlies lol. xxx"

"omg babe u look gawjuss xxxx" "nooo i don't, u do xxxx" - Laying the groundwork for a rally of false compliments and self deprecating between the comment poster and pic uploader.

People posting "rip granddad xxxx" statuses every year, why? It's crass, they cloak themselves with a veil of tragedy and hurt but underneath it all the goal is gaining attention, so embarrassing.

And people believing any old nonsense and reposting it "they r gna stop us wearin england shirts in the world cup, repost this or my dog will die in 2 hours", and people do it.

Twitter is even worse.

Yeah man, Twitter is for the birds... :laughing:

"Just a sharing, 'cause I didn't know...don't go to Whole Foods on Hanukkah, because it's CRAZY!"

Quoted, lol....

edit * at least I tried to.. haha

today was suprisingly idiot free on my FB.

oy vey!

There's this girl my housemate went to school with and on pretty much a daily basis we sit around and read her Facebook updates cos they're so mundane and boring and I just don't understand how someone has such a vanilla life. I can't even pinpoint why it's so funny it just IS. Especially the conversations that sometimes take place on her updates. She mostly updates stuff like this:

"Stupid nosebleed tonite"

"Go to the bank nd check my balance today nd maybe put my phone on charge aswell"

"Cant believe my dads snorin is annoyin my mam tonite"

"Little baby on the bus is adorable think thats how u spell it"

"Baby on the bus is being loud he must have had loads of sugar"

"Dont no wether to get a shower tonite with the blister on my foot"

"Dont no wether to go to sleep but i feel tired"

"Go nd meet my friend for lunch nd apply for some jobs aswell"

"Want to try red wine coz it looks good"

"Go nd help my mam with the shopping today"

Then she'll upload a picture of herself and she has pretty big boobs and EVERY time this guy will comment and the conversation will go like this:

Guy: "ur gawjus hun n nice tits"
Girl: "thanks lol"
Guy: "wen u gonna let me hold u like a woman should"
Girl: "dont no lol"
Guy: "ur so pretty u need a man in ur life
Girl: "kk"

I LOVE HER.

Blaroobarg, do you have a Facebook btw. Just want to know.

:laughing:

Put that as your signature since you think it is funny. kiekiekiekierkierkie

Don't tell me what to put in my signature.

:D:laughing:


That **** kills me.

There are annoying guys on facebook too though. The vain ones who change their profile picture every day.



Do you know this guy? You should probably blot out his name lad, I mean, no matter how much you dislike him, you shouldn't really be posting his identity along with what he is saying in his status'.

There's a joke in there somewhere about someone so stupid using a smart phone, but I'm damned if I can find one.

Sorry Franco, I don't share my personal information on anonymous forums. By the way, that wasn't an insult to you, but an observation that he stalks women, and you do too. You both like the booties, obviously.

How about this one?

"I know none of you want to see this and I wish I didn't have to share it, if you have any nasty comments I would prefer them to be said away from my eyes and ears. "

This was attached to a pic of an animal that had been subjected to animal testing. I have absolutely no issue with this person wanting to make people aware of this and campaign for it to stop. I fully agree with them in principle.

What I do have issue with is:

1) - Just because you don't feel you could have not posted something, does not mean you did not in fact have the option to not post it. Please don't imply that you're forced to do things you aren't, especially if you use that as a rationale to post stuff that other people may find disturbing, which is to say, pictures of mutilated animals.

2) - If you're going to post something like that, you clearly feel strongly about it. That's fine. But please don't act as if you can (or should be able to) dictate who contributes to your discussion of this based on whether they agree with you or not. Discourse does not work that way. No matter how correct you may be, no matter how righteous your cause, you cannot post inflammatory material that you KNOW is inflammatory, point out that it is inflammatory, then try and deny not only the voicing of, but the existence of, an alternative viewpoint. (Even if that viewpoint is wrong)

Personally, I think if someone is going to be so righteous and believe so strongly in something, they should be prepared to defend their views to those who may think otherwise. Anything less simply feels like copping out and neglecting to take responsibility for ones own actions, whether they be right or wrong in their assertions.

This sentence wins the prize for most frequent use of the word "not"! :laughing:

I maintain that it is grammatically correct in spite of the high not quotient.

"I.T. DORKS MAY TAKE OUR ITUNES AWAY BUT THEY COULDNT TAKE PANDORA BAHAHAHAHAH
ONE SMALL VICTORY FOR NURSING BUBBLE"
^Important update from guy I went to high school with

That's some riveting stuff.

You should see the status update he posted about his Comcast bill. You may want to track him down and friend him so that you too can be a part of all this exciting news.