Pride over friendship

[Black Francis]

Have you ever broke off a friendship over pride?

Recently i had a falling out with a friend, we argued over something and in my opinion she was DEAD WRONG!!

but now we're not talking to each other and I KNOW she won't say she's sorry and i don't want to apologise to her because im ALWAYS the one who has to apologise even when im not the one who should

Cause when you're in this type of situation when both ppl think they're right SOMEONE has to budge to keep the friendship going

but sometimes it's just not worth it, cause if ONE person outta the 2 never recognises he/she is wrong the OTHER ONE has to take all the blame to keep the friendship going

And that creates an unbalanced friendship where one always needs to submit to the other
and IMO both ppl should care equally or else it wasn't a good friendship from the start

So i ask you MB community, What are your thoughts on this? have this ever happened to you?

[Goofle]

Not really 100% related to the question, but I thought I'd vent for a second...

I did have some issues with one of my friends this weekend who got upset when we started joking about the fact that she had not seen The Matrix, LOTR and other "classic" films. She retaliated by saying all this stuff about her being "Too busy getting laid" and "Having a life" - implying (or just stating) that we were "sad losers" who never leave our rooms.

She then started having a go at one particular friend of mine because he has never had to fend for himself because he has quite well off parents. She fails to mention that this particular friend refused his parents offer to pay for his University education, worked a job through two years of college (16-18) and then his first year of Uni. She then said he thinks he is better than everyone and looks down on her in particular.

After this I find it hard to call her a friend really. She's just an attention whore. If she doesn't apologise to my other friend I will consider her finished.

[Black Francis]

@Goofie

i do think it IS a matter of pride, even in your example

but it seems the girl overreacted and started making Sh*t personal

[Cuthbert]

Yep. One of my best friends as well.

Gave him some money to get something for me then he started acting like a cock and giving me loads of bullshit excuses as to why he couldn't do it (obviously had spent the money). Told him to keep the money and fuck off.

Not spoken to him in a year.

[Burning Down]

Pride goes before a fall. I've had minor tiffs with friends over stupid things but I have never ended a friendship outright because I didn't want to admit I was wrong about something (or vice versa).

[Black Francis]

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

Yep. One of my best friends as well.

Gave him some money to get something for me then he started acting like a cock and giving me loads of bullshit excuses as to why he couldn't do it (obviously had spent the money). Told him to keep the money and fuck off.

Not spoken to him in a year.

It's f*cked up how something so little can end a friendship, no?

@Burning

lol it's funny, the other day i was venting out this anger in a blog and i wrote precisely that

"Pride comes before the fall"

im also like you, im always willing to work sh*t out but i won't do it if the other person is too damn stubborn

[RoxyRollah]

Black Francis:

Is it something you will never ever speak to this person again over? Seriously? Or is it something that with a six month hiatus of not speaking to the person will blow over...

Because I think that maybe if it is that latter of the two then it would be pride. But if it's the first one then it might not necessarily be pride that you are choosing. I didn't speak to my sister once for five years because she hurt my feelings... and my pride remained intact... (we are currently not speaking after the first 5 year break because she is a rotten cow, and it's going on 3 years...) but that is neither here nor there...
So yeah is it really a matter of your pride, or something else below the surface of that?

[Black Francis]

Originally Posted by RoxyRollah

Black Francis:

Is it something you will never ever speak to this person again over? Seriously? Or is it something that with a six month hiatus of not speaking to the person will blow over...

Because I think that maybe if it is that latter of the two then it would be pride. But if it's the first one then it might not necessarily be pride that you are choosing. I didn't speak to my sister once for five years because she hurt my feelings... and my pride remained intact... (we are currently not speaking after the first 5 year break because she is a rotten cow, and it's going on 3 years...) but that is neither here nor there...
So yeah is it really a matter of your pride, or something else below the surface of that?

So if not pride why don't you forgive your sister and try to contact her again?

Honestly?

my situation is VERY complicated, i honestly don't know what im gonna do..
ideally i want to work things out and if we can, be friends again

[RoxyRollah]

Well then I would say it is gonna take a while till your feathers go back to not being ruffled but at least the want is there...

As for me, I have forgiven her repeatedly since I was 15 and to no avail the same **** keeps happening, lucky for me I know the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Momma didn't raise no fool.. I wish I could say it was that she is the "family screw up" in which case I would probably be more sympathetic and stick with her through thick and thin.. unfortunately the screw up/ black sheep roll is my cross to bare... Loyalty is her problem and she doesn't seem to grasp that no matter what you do, in life your family has your back... ( in the best case scenario.) yeah I could call her and apologize, and I probably will since I have been thinking about her lately, but I will proceed from there with caution

[Black Francis]

@Roxy

i understand you TOO WELL, My friend is like your sister..
She keeps f*ckin me over i always forgive her because i cared for our friendship

but im sick of always being the "Better person" and letting sh*t slide