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The Batlord 03-09-2013 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla (Post 1295392)
I completely agree with Trollheart, but at the same time I understand why your brother is behaving the way he is. Because he's so hooked to weed his judgement is clouded, he's justifying his actions because he feels it's the only thing that is making him happy. Everything else falls secondary to that.

I don't think weed causes this. Exo said he was put on painkillers for his leg and pills have come up missing. I knew a pillhead. He didn't sound quite that bad, but it sounds familiar.

I agree with what pretty much everyone else is saying, that he needs to be cut loose. I also think that your mother's cancer makes this even more necessary. I don't know how bad her cancer is, but I imagine that you and your family don't have the emotional capital to be using it up for her and your brother. Not to mention, I'm sure all this stress can't be good for your mother's health. For all you know this whole situation could be adversely affecting her physically as well as mentally. At this time your family needs to be a tight unit around your mother, and if one of you is unraveling that then he needs to go. At least until the mess with your mother gets better.

Exo 03-09-2013 10:08 AM

My mothers cancer is in remission and she was recently given a 95% recovery rate. She's got two more weeks of radiation therapy but it's still taking an emotional toll. Nearly every one of you have mentioned her in your posts and I can't tell you how grateful I am that there is an online community of people who are all genuine and kind. I thank all of you.

About my brother...

I agree with all of you. I guess the one thinking I didn't mention was what I think is going on with him. I mentioned the broken leg because this is where I think he started having problems mentally. He stopped seeing his friends and had to basically live in a basement by himself most of the day due to my parents and I working. I also think this is where he was introduced to the world of drugs.

Let me make this statement. The main focal point here is not the weed. My family is a very logical family. We know that the weed is a device to self medicate and that it needs to go away but the problem is the emptyness and complete lack of emotion, guilt, or remorse for lying to the faces of his family. He lies to my face and when I expose his lie he just shrugs his shoulders. He acts like the fights we had don't exist and hour later as he's asking me if he could use my car to go get coffee. He actually doesn't understand why I'm disgusted with him and am not allowing him to use my car. He actually doesn't get it.

I don't know what that is. He isn't stupid. He's sick. Very very very sick. The worst part is that he was FINE two weeks ago. He was my best friend two weeks ago. It's like he's possessed. It's the strangest thing I've ever seen.

Anyway, we're calling doctors and making appointments and I'm preparing myself to let him go emotionally if he continues this. I feel horrible for what I said yesterday even though I know I'm right. That's how much I love him. It just really sucks right now.

Thank you all for your responses.

PoorOldPo 03-09-2013 10:12 AM

Was he like this before he was given all of that medication for his leg?

Exo 03-09-2013 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorOldPo (Post 1295524)
Was he like this before he was given all of that medication for his leg?

Nope.

He was a regular kid. He had good grades and made comedy skits with his friends and put them on youtube. He broke his leg snowboarding. He used to go up and film his friends all day. He doesn't talk to those people anymore. He also used to play every sport. That stopped too although it may have to do with the leg.

The Batlord 03-09-2013 10:19 AM

Wait, so do you not think he is addicted to pills at the moment? Is it just weed?

Janszoon 03-09-2013 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anticipation (Post 1295423)
I think it's more likely that he's abusing weed as a symptom of self-loathing and depression. Seriously depressed people are escapists, and most of the actions your brother is doing sound like that of a young guy wanting to self-destruct because of a negative self image. The reckless behavior, apathy, and mood changes are indicative of hopelessness but i agree that he has far to go to hit rock bottom. He still has a support system and really has no incentive to accept his reality, let alone acknowledge it at all.

I agree with the bolded. It does sound like the constant smoking is more of a symptom of something deeper.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation Exo. I don't know if I have any advice except to just keep on. You're a good person with a good head on your shoulders and I think whatever your gut tells you is the right course of action probably is the right course of action.

FETCHER. 03-09-2013 10:24 AM

He needs a good old fashioned battering if I'm honest, he sounds like a ****ing arse. Maybe you guys are needing to throw him out to give him the shock that he needs and will realise that your dad isn't always going to be there to rescue him.



In all honesty he sounds like a spoiled little bitch with a serious attitude problem. But I obviously don't really know but that's my impression. If tough love doesn't work then I have no idea what you could do.

Exo 03-09-2013 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1295530)
Wait, so do you not think he is addicted to pills at the moment? Is it just weed?

I don't think he's on pills right now. I know for a fact that he was at one point. I think the painkillers that he was on when he broke his leg opened his eyes up to being high. Right now its just weed. All the time. No matter what we ask. In our faces.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon (Post 1295531)
I agree with the bolded. It does sound like the constant smoking is more of a symptom of something deeper.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation Exo. I don't know if I have any advice except to just keep on. You're a good person with a good head on your shoulders and I think whatever your gut tells you is the right course of action probably is the right course of action.

Thanks man. I'm trying to detach myself from him right now and just focus on setting up doctor appointment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FETCHER. (Post 1295534)
He needs a good old fashioned battering if I'm honest, he sounds like a ****ing arse. Maybe you guys are needing to throw him out to give him the shock that he needs and will realise that your dad isn't always going to be there to rescue him.



In all honesty he sounds like a spoiled little bitch with a serious attitude problem. But I obviously don't really know but that's my impression. If tough love doesn't work then I have no idea what you could do.

My brother is two people. One is everything you describe to a 'T'. I told him yesterday that I hope somebody beats the f*cking sh*t out of him and pisses on his face. I lost all self control and restriction. I'm not happy about that.

The other person is a caring loving fun person who I considered my best friend. He's a manic depressed bi-polar with sociopathic tendencies. It's tearing our family apart.

The Batlord 03-09-2013 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exoskeletal (Post 1295538)
I don't think he's on pills right now. I know for a fact that he was at one point. I think the painkillers that he was on when he broke his leg opened his eyes up to being high. Right now its just weed. All the time. No matter what we ask. In our faces.

Are you like sure sure? Cause you said some Xanax came up missing, and if he's a pillhead I'd say it's more likely that he took them than he sold them. Pills would explain mood swings and sociopathic behavior way better than just weed would.

P A N 03-09-2013 11:49 AM

i don't really have much advice as it seems you're pretty aware of what needs to be done. i just wanted to express that i think you and your family are good, strong people, and also my condolences for your having to endure this. i wish you and your family the best.


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