When someone you love likes music you hate
 

When Someone You Love Likes Music You Hate, What Do You Do? : All Songs Considered : NPR

I hate a good bit of my spouse's music. I dislike 80s rock/metal. He likes it. He has a weird devotion to KISS. I loathe most of it.

I like Vampire Weekend--the same devotion applies here. He hates it. We have found some happy mediums, but no sh*t, for awhile it would turn into intense debates.

Basically, we viewed our music as extensions of ourselves. Say, my hair is VW. He says, "I don't even have to try to not like this. It just comes naturally." Now, I would get greatly offended. In turn, my comments on four clowns parading around in make-up, he took personally.

Anyone else have a problem like in the above mentioned article?

Maybe it doesn't even apply to someone you love. If anyone heavily criticizes your taste in music, do you become offended? People line up to hate on some of my favorites, but it doesn't change my opinion of the hater or the band.

he doesn't like prog. Not even King Crimson! I don't like his nostalgia band Nightmare Of You so it all balances out. most of the time we agree with music though. Most of the time, if I listen to a record, he enjoys it, and has even gotten into music from me, like GY!BE. all in all I think differing tastes are an opportunity to grow. I wouldn't have developed an extreme interest in gaming if it wasn't for him!

he isn't 'the one'. ;)

I try to look for beauty in just about everything, especially if I haven't heard it before - for instance, the love of my life is incredibly partial to acoustic/indie sorts of music, and I find it difficult to listen to because it affects me too much - it isn't that I don't like it, it's just that I'm a little too sensitive so I tease him a little by joking that the artist barely has a pulse, or that I'm bored to death, but it's all good-natured teasing.

Honestly, I'm not able to be with someone whose musical taste clashes too much with mine. If I'm with someone who listens to music that I don't care for at all (for instance, a couple of my exes were into some really obnoxious crap from the 90s - Aqua, for example) it turns me off. It sounds shallow but a person's musical taste can really make or break my bond with them.

I would project my views/feelings onto my musical tastes. When they were attacked, the views/feelings were exacerbated. Psychological bs, I know, but true. Anyway, it wasn't about my or my partner's taste in music, it was about something else entirely and that was a nice(sarcasm) way to deal with it.

This isn't really the direction I think the article was going, but there you have it.

Sorry. Removed my response. It was overly snarky and out of proportion.

Oh, I didn't think so at all-- I like snarky:). I thought you had a valid point, and I didn't feel it was at all directed at me.

You're right. If someone's musical taste is the basis for your relationship, maybe you should re-evaluate.

What's that they say? Opposites attract? At least it provides some fuel for heated debates, with equally heated making-up afterwards!

Mind you, if you're wearing your hair in the style of a VolksWagen Beetle I think that might be grounds for divorce! :laughing:

It's something thats never really bothered me before.

I've been with some women that have some Godawful taste in music, thankfully they made up for in other ways.

This. In fact, I don't think I've ever dated anyone who I had much in common with in terms of music.

I have indeed dated some one with alike tastes... and it lead to some very stimulating conversations and other things... and after him no one ever measured up... too bad he was a completely criminally insane piece of dog ****... to this day, we still exchange notes on music, because even years later we both have never found someone that fills the others musical shoes...

And as far as strangers go, don't talk to them, or take candy from them either...
No... I don't share my musical interests with them first... because I don't want to be musically rejected. But once they open up to me... I reciprocate...

When the GF got a hold of a Jack Johnson CD, I thought it was pretty good... for the first 50 or so times she played it. Every where we went "Wanna hear some Jack Johnson?"... "Jack Johnson?"... "How 'bout some Jack Johnson?"... so after a couple hundred times of hearing it, I personally can't stand it, or his voice. She ruined it for me. God help me, I threw that ****ing CD out the window one day. "Have you seen my Jack Johnson CD?"... nope.

:rofl:

My boyfriend and I can agree on most things in terms of music. There is some stuff though, that I just don't like that he listens to sometimes.

Meh, could be worse: it coulda be a John Jackson CD! :laughing: Now HE really sucks! :)

I've never been in a relationship long enough for this to become an issue and should I ever kidnap someone long enough for them to come down with stockholm syndrome I imagine it will probably be my taste in music that drives them away.

no no.... if they have stockholm syndrome they will sympathize with you and may even eventually like your taste in music...but you might have to gag them at first so they can't complain..and after day in and day out of your musical hypnotism they will come around... GOOD LUCK!!;)

I dated a guy last Fall who was really obsessed with John Mayer and Jason Mraz. He would make me mixtapes and that's all that would be on them -

Track 1: John Mayer
Track 2: Jason Mraz
Track 3: John Mayer
Track 4: Jason Mraz

..and so on. And don't get me wrong, I've never liked John Mayer but I went through a Jason Mraz phase but I moved on from it. I don't mean to act as though I'm above listening to their music, but I could just never be that into them.

The relationship definitely didn't end just because of his taste in music - he didn't like anything I listened to either (aside from a Dodos song I showed him that he liked because the lyrics reminded him of a John Mayer song...), but I think it contributed a bit. Long car rides were a nightmare because I was miserable when listening to his music or he was miserable when listening to mine.

It may seem a trivial thing in relationships at large but for me, at least where I am in my life right now, it matters. The lifestyle I lead includes going to shows frequently, thinking about, making (he also hated the music my band made) and discussing music, and when I'm in a relationship that's something I would hope to share. If I can't at least be interested in or intrigued by another person's taste in music I won't hang around long.

Going through my music collection I've come to realize I would have a harder time making a love mixtape for a girl than I would making one for a girl who miscarried.

Hahahahahaha :laughing: Love mixtapes are vastly overrated anyway.

:rofl:

I admire your honesty. That was just golden.

Haha! It's okay, lovey-dovey mixtapes are cheesy as hell.

The mixtape in itself is but you feed enough bullshit with it they become instant panty removal tools.

If she's hot enough, she can play gangsta-rap, opera and Elton John all day.
I can always get earplugs.

Can't say I've ever got turned off by bad music. My d*ck has no ears.
Can't say I've ever dated a chick I didn't want to f*ck 24/7 either.

:yikes:

I've dated guys with really shoddy taste. Can't say I've dated even one that even rated.

I'm an awful liar so it shows on my face, the dislike, no matter how hard I try to hide it. Rather than act I don't even have to say anything at all unless asked specifically what is wrong with it. Usually I end up hurting my loved ones feelings about music without trying to, but it is really on them and how they and most ppl fail to understand that music is not a personal possession. Once they grasp that others' opinions about it will never bother them again.

Growing up my mom would play the Beatles almost everyday and I'm sure the over exposure of their music has something to do w/ my dislike for them.

On fb, my gf favorite album is listed as "any thing limp bizkit" that kills me a little.

I had a boyfriend who only listened to dubstep and the black keys once and thought my music was too weird/abrasive. I personally think the black keys make a great alternative to nyquil, so I think a lot of our differences made it a short relationship.

I don't think music contributed much to it, but his attitude towards music certainly reflected his own attitudes. He's not adventurous whatsoever and he doesn't like to look into things deeper or do any intellectual analyses. It was really ****ty how whenever I had an idea he shot it down as too obscure or strange. I felt like he was literally making me dumber and dampening my self growth so I left him. I could never stay with someone who didn't contribute to a conversation like he did

because of that, I think someones taste in music can reflect their personality just a little.

While I won't end a relationship based on music taste alone, it still has an influence. Replace the Jack Johnson CD mentioned above with NOW whateverthe****innumberwas. Every. Day. Now, the deal was I get to listen to an album and she gets to listen to an album. Fair? Not when NOW was the only album she ever wanted to put on. She kept saying I was close-minded and not everyone likes my kind of music. Seriously? While I didn't break up with her because of this, I was definitely relieved I didn't have to put up with that crap anymore.

My fiancee now isn't an audiophile like me, but she definitely knows her hip hop, which I really respect. She's also got an intense love for mid-90's R&B which I used to hate...but now I have a soft spot for it. She also respects my music knowledge and asks me questions about it. While she has her lines (I don't think Melt Banana would go over well) she generally lets me listen to whatever I want. I enjoy this.

Never heard him. Do I even want to?

One of my friends listens to some proper shite but I really like her so I don't really criticise any of the stuff she listens to. We don't argue either. All my other friends I'd feel comfortable telling them what they listen to is crap or that they're being a cunt but I can't with her. Weird.

Here's what's happening in my household:

To broaden our musical horizons we are exchanging albums. The point is to remain open and get rid of all preconceived ideas about an artist/band. Mainly, we just want to 'try' and appreciate each others musical taste.

He's going to listen to the new Vampire Weekend and it looks like I'm going to get Moondance or something from the New York Dolls. I'm just thankful he didn't choose KISS.

Dump her.

So she's 0 for 2 in the taste department then.

:laughing:

Ny dolls ok... not to bad.. they grow on you...ssshhh don't tell

I recently discovered Skrillex and some other club and rave type music like that in my boyfriend's music library. I'm just glad he doesn't play this shit out loud.

I once dated a girl who was into Schpongle, and Belle and Sebastian, too bad that didn't work out. I've also dated a few nasties in high school who were into that whole pop emo scene, panic at the disco, blood on the dance floor, MCR, really uninteresting stuff. Overall, I try and not get too much into what I listen to with chicks, but I'm very much an open minded listener, and I love discussing music in general with people, whether it be Rites of Spring, or Master of Puppets, I love a stimulating chat about music. I can count on just 1 hand how many people I've run into with a similar taste in music, or just anything in common listening wise really. Most of the people around here that are into the stuff I'm into are a bit more outgoing than me, so it never really works out unfortunately.

I know right, I've dumped girls for a lot less, but other than the LB thing this one is good for me.



No, she doesn't swallow so her taste is fine.

who cares? like..... if I only dated dudes that liked punk or post punk that'd be silly as hell because most punx dudes don't shower and are misogynists. I think I'd be more worried about if a dude didn't read. Then he's basically un****able. Maybe that's where I keep ****ing up.