Is this site more important than the ones you love?
 

Hi everyone,

Less important than my mum, dad and sister. But more important than anyone else. Family wise at least.

Is brushing your teeth more important, if you do that first? Checking your email? Turning on the TV?

No. These are things we do out of habit. They're inconsequential, reflexive, irrelevant things. The day my grandma died, I turned on the television for a week and disappeared in it. Doesn't mean I loved my mother any less.

She sounds like the sort of girl who would read your text messages.

I don't mean to offend, but I can't quite tell what side of the fence you are on based on that.

Personally, many members of my family mean very little to me. This community may be essentially just a group of randoms, but I feel more of a connection to the general membership than those of my family.

I don't have a very strong sense of family either, but I don't necessarily have a comparably strong sense of community on a website.

I'm on the side of the fence that she shouldn't get worked up, because she's interpreting the situation in a way that's absurd, regardless of whether or not he does feel a strong bond with others on the internet or not.

I've been in both situations, having addictive bonds and having little attachment, and it wasn't the case in either place that it meant I didn't care for my family or significant other.

Ahh, that makes more sense. I generally agree as well.

No, people that I love in real life are more important to me than this site. However I've developed friendships with people on this site and other forums, and although they're long distance, they are still significant.

There were 3 deaths in the family over the last 5 years and I didn't shed a tear at their funerals. Nothing affected me and I just went about my daily business like nothing happened. My mom thought that was inappropriate but I didn't care. Still don't.

It was TWO YEARS AGO? I missed that part and thought it was a massive overreaction.

As one who knows how these BS games go the 'correct' response was "I am so sorry I am not worthy please forgive my insensitivity..."


and if she is reading this thread you are only digging yourself in deeper.



...but yeah, she is overreacting.

I hope she is reading the thread, as she can hear how possessive, controlling, and emotional she is being.

the fuck? You are in a relationship with her so if she's still having issues with it then be there for her support wise. You don't have to feel like it's a big deal but it's a big deal to her still and you can't control how she feels about her father that passed away.

I can understand if maybe you didn't remember but if you totally knew that she is still having a hard time with it then just be there for her.

Well I don't know the nature of your relationship but if it is still an issue for her (and the loss of a parent is hardly a trivial issue) it's fairly natural to expect emotional support from a (boy)friend. It's also understandable if you are getting tired of emotional head-fucks after two years. I guess I'm saying you're both right or no-one's right or relationships shouldn't be a contest in the first place. Enjoy :jailed:

I'm not saying she shouldn't be sad or whatever, but I think it's irrational to take it out on you with accusations and guilt trips. Be there if she actually needs you, but don't fall victim to attention seeking and don't let her make you feel like a dick for posting on the internet.

The more you speak, Slappy, the more worried I get that you didn't take from my words what I meant for you to take, haha.

Why are you even in a relationship with her? Are you just with her for the sex? I mean really?

Well it's certainly 'normal' to avoid something challenging in favour of trivial diversions as long as it doesn't cross over into pathology.

I think DJ said it best.

Is it really so much to ask that you contact your girlfriend before 6pm? Good lord, get your priorities straight. She should dump your ass.

Honestly, if it was my boyfriend I would be far more caring than I even need to be. That's just me though. It's so much easier emotionally being single.

Right Vanilla! See! SHE should be more caring to ME. That is what you are saying right?

*hoping!!

Then why not talk to her about your feelings? It's not like you're going to lose your "man card" or anything. Besides, there's nothing wrong with talking about stuff. She probably wanted to talk to you about things she's struggling with today, too. Moping around by yourself doesn't solve anything.

I was attempting to be sympathetic up until this point.

The next time you wonder why women talk shit about men once in a while, just come back to this thread.

I get what he's saying, he doesn't want to alienate her but she's manipulating him into doing what she wants. I've been there. It sucks. I hope it gets better for you slappy.

Dude, do you even care about this girl? Seriously. If you don't care about her feelings and have no intentions of offering your love and support when she's grieving, let her find someone who does.

Glad I could give you the last piece in your puzzle :)

This is the most poignant post in the thread. QFT.

Was that deliberately ironic? Isn't that when she would need you most?



How can you be blamed for deliberately avoiding reading her emails? Is that the question?

I think that's fair enough to ask of someone.

So is this thread an indirect way of getting her to break up with you?

Well, you're pleading avoidance of the facts rather than ignorance. Therein lies the blame I'm afraid.

This is making my head hurt.

It's ****ing unbelievable, it's like he can't afford one ounce of sympathy for his girlfriend. :usehead:

I find the title to this thread disturbing, unless you're a hermit I can't imagine picking a site over a loved one.

I can't logically believe this is real. Didn't this guy tell us he hates this place not so long ago?

This

Yeah, and if going to talk smack about her online to a crowd he can't stand maybe he should start calling her his "ex." "Honey I didn't have time to read your e-mail, but I did start a thread about you on a site I hate, which in turn is more important than you."

I hate this site for a few reasons as well. I don't exactly blame you.
I will be happy to provide any response if you want my opinion. Please reiterate.

This is a music site where you talk about music. You are not asking Dr Phil or Ann Landers for relationship advice, just a bunch of regular people who are into music. You should note you had some on your side - you said so yourself. Listen, you didn't come off sounding too sympathetic towards your "girlfriend" ok, some people might find that hard to understand, don't turn it around on people on this site.

I'm confused why do you keep posting if she'll see it? If you're not trying to get back w/ her I don't see the issue of you posting, I mean the world doesn't stop b/c her dad died.