TFW you come home after a hard day, lie down in bed, relax and suddenly there's a loud buzzing sound and it turns out some big ass bug is chilling in your bed.
**** that ****. I have mesh on all the windows especially so none of those get in. ****ing hate insects and spiders and stuff.

Worse if he has his bitches in there too!

Bitches in my bed? That'd be something new.

I don't allow my dogs on the furniture either.

Meant the bug. Bugs have bitches too. Bitch bugs.

The absolute worst is when you're just chilling in your room and all of a sudden there's a ****ing wasp flying around and you're forced to flee like a bitch, trapping it in your room and now you have no idea what to do. So you wrap yourself in a ridiculous amount of clothes like a god damn beekeeper and occasionally build up the courage to sneak into your room with some sort of makeshift flail, desperately searching for any sign of the wasp that is now nowhere to be seen, until you see it, strike, miss, and run with your tail between your legs.

Abso-****ing-lutely! I once walked into my room, saw a ****ing HUGE wasp hovering near my light (about the centre of the room), ducked out. Waited for like ten minutes before I plucked up the courage to sidle in, broom in hand, to push open the window enough so he could fly out, ****ed off again for a half hour, came back and he was gone. ****ed if I'm tackling a wasp as big as a small helicopter! Those things are EVIL!

Yeah, **** wasps. Gimmie a bee any-day. But wasps can go **** themselves.

What a bunch of girls. I'm not afraid of wasps. They're annoying when they try to fly up my nose or eyes, but they are as easily killed as a common fly.

I once walked right through a humongous swarm of 100.000 bees and that's not something I'd like to repeat. If that had been wasps, I would have walked another way since they're admittedly more aggressive than bees.

Bees are grand. Leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. But ****in wasps just hate everything. Bastards. They scare the living **** out of me. ****s.

While we're on the subject, sort of, who hates those ****ing crane flies/daddy longlegs? Urgh! Also ****s.

Out here, daddylonglegs are the spiders, or were you just grouping them in with crane flies?

My least favourite living creature, even more than mosquitoes or people, is the tarantula hawk.

Pretty ****ed. Yes, I have a soft spot for tarantulas, **** off.

Dunno. On the island we call them both. Spiders are just spiders. One friend of Karen's calls the craneflies "ballet dancers", but she can just **** right off.

You don't differentiate between different types of spiders?

Not really. We don't get really big ones. There are water spiders, who have tiny bodies but huge legs (probably about the size of your palm I guess), money spiders which are simply tiny, and everything else. We're just not as bothered with them here; they come, they go, they get squished, some people escort them out of their houses, some let them live there. No biggie. I don't like spiders though: not afraid of them per se but I wouldn't go to sleep if I knew one was in the room.

Daddy long legs are a common house spider for us, which is why we make the differentiation. Most people won't specify a wolf spider or orb weaver or anything like that.

http://wafflesatnoon.com/wp-content/...-long-legs.jpg

Daddy Longlegs and spiders are different things for me. One flies, the others don't.

Spiders are OK, I let them chill. If it's a really big one, I put a glass over it and paper underneath and let him outside.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKq_2avUMAAK5JW.jpg

me after finding a spider in my room

https://m.popkey.co/ca97b2/a1WxV.gif

:D

One time I set my cat on one. He didn't do anything.

reminds me of my last cat :( she would chase around flies and eat them all day but if you were to swat one she wouldn't touch it. needed to catch it herself.

I don't want them crawling on me, but I don't really mind them either since they just kind of sit there in a corner.

My cats eat spiders. It's quite cruel really. They take them up in their mouth, spit them out, allow them to run a little, pick them up again, spit them out etc. They love this. I once had to bring the fun to an end when I noticed one spider who had been spat out had lost two legs and I felt sorry for it, so I stepped on it. Better a quick death, a soldier's death, than the lingering pain and misery my cat had planned for its victim.

I don't like it when insect are suffering either. Either kill it in one blow, or let it be. I'm enough of a hippie that I feel a little bit bad when killing any size of bug.
Except if it's a mosquito trying to prick me. That's a declaration of war.

It kind of depends on how much it's annoying me. I mean, I hate crane flies but if I saw one out in the garden I wouldn't actively go out of my way to kill it as long as it didn't get into the house. A spider in the house I can live with if it's small and stays the **** away from me. Bluebottles are targets every time, but to be honest I don't care if I kill them or just flick them out the window, just once they're gone. Ants are dead - I have spray for that, and you can't let them overrun your house anyway - and as I said, I run from wasps in the house, as well as bees. In essence, I'm such a big man and so brave that if it can't hurt me I'll kill it if I have to, if it can, I run the hell out of the way.

I had to look up what a bluebottle was. I'm pretty sure common house flies around here look exactly the same, but without the blue tint.

For some reason, I like regular flies as long as there's only one. Just like bumblebees, they're sort of cute.

Sometimes, I'll let one of those regular flies walk around on my hand and play with it, making it walk from finger to finger. Their buzzing reminds me of good old times at my grandparents farm when they were still alive.

Are you ****ing crazy? Those things walk in ****, carry disease, regurgitate .... urgh! And bluebottles are larger, louder and ****ing twice as annoying as flies, most of which are relatively small. I'm shuddering thinking of you letting one walk along your .... urrrrgggghhhh! Gonna be sick.

They are going to walk all over everything anyway. I'm not too concerned about what they've stepped in. How many nanograms of dirt could there be on the foot of a fly?
Some people keep their shoes on when going inside. That's thousands of times worse. I would like to swat people like that.

Ah ok, I know what a bluebottle is now. I don't like them. For some reason, I think of their smaller cousins as an entirely different thing.

Not if they're dead they're not.

No, then they're going to have walked over everything, then bleed their juices over whatever you flattened them on.

tfw you ride an old school rigid frame chopper for the first time.

https://i.imgur.com/duSOJtQ.png

My father has been building choppers since his early 20s. He built the bike in the foreground when I was about 10 years old and he has been waiting patiently for me to get my license and ride it ever since. I don't think I've ever seen him as happy as he was that day.

Nothing can prepare somebody for the intensity of a rigid frame chopper. The engines are mounted directly to the frame with bolts and washers, not a single rubber shock absorber, so you feel every twist of the throttle ripple outward through every bone in your body. It literally feels like blasting down the highway at 100 mph on a washing machine. The handlebars vibrate so much that if you don't hold them loosely your hands will be numb within minutes. Pure adrenaline.

You know your Pap's BA when he high fives you for passing him uphill at 180 km/h.

Sweet!

How do you even do that? I can't even kill a fly without swatter assistance, let alone get them to be friends.

You just have to move very slowly so it doesn't get startled.
Alternatively, you could just not bathe for a month. Then you will be lord of the flies.

Done.

That's what antibacterial wipes and spray are for. Also, I don't always kill them. Like I said, if I can flick em out the window or out a door I'll do that, then they become SEP.
Sorted.
:D

I’m definitely an aracnophobe when it comes to spiders as big as your hand - the spiders in Adelaide are small but when I lived up North I saw some spectacular ones. Adelaide has lots of brown snakes, although I recently read that they’re only the second most venomous snake in the world, so I guess it could be worse.

Yeah those Golden Orbs they get up there are pretty humongous.

So even Australians think their wildlife is ludicrous. I feel better.

Tarantulas are the real homies.

TFW your 5:30am start becomes 4:30am with daylight savings.

TFW you're sitting in a bus in the countryside late in the evening, watching the rare light source and scattered buildings go by as you listen to music on your headphones. Sometimes the most banal things can seem magical.