Fragments of conversation

Pet_Sounds · 01-28-2015, 02:55 PM

I need something to cheer me up. Post a snippet of a conversation you've head recently that made you chuckle.

I saw a father shopping at the grocery store yesterday. He was pushing his (approximately) five-year-old son around in the cart. As I walked by, he held up a bottle and said to his son, "…hot sauce--the cornerstone of any good taco…"

Chula Vista · 01-28-2015, 03:30 PM

I don't have any talk snippets but Budweiser has released their new annual commercial for the upcoming Super Bowl and it's great.

JennyOndioline · 01-28-2015, 03:31 PM

"...You've never tried it with a pickle? OH MY GOD..."

Psy-Fi · 01-28-2015, 04:33 PM

I didn't hear any interesting bits of conversation today but I did find this news story rather amusing...

Mobster turned motivational speaker: John Gotti's crew leader now hopes to make a living giving talks to children about bullying | Daily Mail Online

Quote:

On his website he offers himself as a speaker, seeking to cash in on an activity that has already proved fruitful for him: talking.

'John offers all ages and groups a forceful message and precise tutorial on simply, how not to be a victim,' the site states.

The website states: 'Over the course of a twenty-five-year career as a gangster he brutalized people, stabbing them, shooting them, beating them with clubs, blackjacks and baseball bats. He's not proud of that, but he doesn't try to hide from it either. It's who he was.

In an interview with The Tampa Bay Times, he says: 'I feel guilty for almost all these things I did,' he said, 'except [drug dealer] John Gebert. I'd like to wake him up and kill him again. Unfortunately, I'm not past it.'

Trollheart · 01-28-2015, 04:52 PM

I would have asked that guy if the kid was on special offer...

GuD · 01-28-2015, 05:00 PM

The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.

Mondo Bungle · 01-28-2015, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhateverDude

The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.

That's bound to cheer up PS

~~John Wilkes Booth~~ · 01-28-2015, 06:11 PM

can't think of any conservation snippets off the top of my head. but i do have a random story to share which might help cheer you up. i know it always brings a smile to my face.

it was in a pet store. the owner was showing off, holding this giant snake. and out of nowhere the snake started spewing what appeared to be diarrhea all over the place. it was flailing around as the guy tried to aim the **** away from himself, spraying liquid **** all over his store. it looked a bit like this:

GuD · 01-28-2015, 06:21 PM

Are they ****ing around or are they seriously trying to pin down a house withouth turning it off first?

Pet_Sounds · 01-28-2015, 07:30 PM

This has turned into the "I didn't hear any conversation, but…" thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psy-Fi

I didn't hear any interesting bits of conversation today but I did find this news story rather amusing...

Mobster turned motivational speaker: John Gotti's crew leader now hopes to make a living giving talks to children about bullying | Daily Mail Online

"I'd like to wake him up and kill him again…"

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhateverDude

The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever

It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys.

It might be for the purpose of practice--I used to have a similar thing with a baseball.

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth

can't think of any conservation snippets off the top of my head. but i do have a random story to share which might help cheer you up. i know it always brings a smile to my face.

it was in a pet store. the owner was showing off, holding this giant snake. and out of nowhere the snake started spewing what appeared to be diarrhea all over the place. it was flailing around as the guy tried to aim the **** away from himself, spraying liquid **** all over his store. it looked a bit like this:

Having worked in a pet store, I can appreciate that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyOndioline

"...You've never tried it with a pickle? OH MY GOD..."

The possibilities are endless.

Heard a couple of old gents in church back around Christmas:

"…yeah, he burned down the ice house in back of Fred's place…"

01-28-2015, 02:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pet_Sounds Remember the underscore Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: The other side Posts: 2,489	Fragments of conversation I need something to cheer me up. Post a snippet of a conversation you've head recently that made you chuckle. I saw a father shopping at the grocery store yesterday. He was pushing his (approximately) five-year-old son around in the cart. As I walked by, he held up a bottle and said to his son, "…hot sauce--the cornerstone of any good taco…" __________________ Everybody's dying just to get the disease

01-28-2015, 03:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	I don't have any talk snippets but Budweiser has released their new annual commercial for the upcoming Super Bowl and it's great. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

01-28-2015, 04:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	I would have asked that guy if the kid was on special offer... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-28-2015, 05:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	The other day I saw some kid playing with quite possibly the saddest invention ever It was this harness with a bungee chord attached to it and on the bungee chord there was a soccer ball. So this kid kicks the ball, the bungee chord brings the ball back, kicks it again... and so on. Honestly, I couldn't think of a lonelier toy than that. Also, don't google-image ball harness toy in a place where you don't want people to see you looking at sex toys. __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

01-28-2015, 06:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	Are they ****ing around or are they seriously trying to pin down a house withouth turning it off first? __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

01-28-2015, 03:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
JennyOndioline Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2015 Posts: 154	"...You've never tried it with a pickle? OH MY GOD..."

01-28-2015, 06:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
~~John Wilkes Booth~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,235	can't think of any conservation snippets off the top of my head. but i do have a random story to share which might help cheer you up. i know it always brings a smile to my face. it was in a pet store. the owner was showing off, holding this giant snake. and out of nowhere the snake started spewing what appeared to be diarrhea all over the place. it was flailing around as the guy tried to aim the ** away from himself, spraying liquid ** all over his store. it looked a bit like this: