Obtaining Free Booze
 

As usual, I'm broke. But I've been listening to Tankard all day, and I crave beer. Lots of beer. What must I do that doesn't involve theft?

If they think you're stealing just tell them you're borrowing it.

blowjobs

Need beer, not douchebags.

Free beer = compromise.

Craigslist: Trade beer for comics.

Sorry, that's all I got.

move to the Czech republic. beer is so cheap its basically free

My attempt to barter for booze with a couple friends was unsuccessful. One is on acid and the other is already drunk. Had I called them an hour earlier, I might be swimming in cheap beer as we speak, but alas, I am boned.

My friend on acid claims that he might be free to booze it up later, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. I love him like a brother, but he's a major flake.

Make a bet with someone, like "I bet that I can chug more Kalinka than you". Make the other person pay for the booze. The other person dies of alcohol poisoning, and voila, you've gotten drunk for free.

Grow a pair of boobs and go to a club or bar. Some nice friendly fellow will offer to buy you a drink. Works without fail.