Bro get out of Texas. This is like me growing a beard to look more like Robert E. Lee, the hero of Virginia.

Lol @ how Virginia is so culturally irrelevant he had to go back to the civil war to make a good reference

Finished my album today, it's been years of sitting on these lyrics and I've finally brought them to life I'm really proud of myself for finally stepping up to the microphone and seeing my songs benefit from it and the structure.

Bolo ties are pretty 1800's as well.

https://media1.giphy.com/media/xUA7b...RNe/source.gif

My phone just made an ungodly noise and I picked it up in panic

Amber alert. FFS. Now every time some brat gets missing I have to hear about it?

'scuse me the Dave Mathews Band is NOT "culturally irrelevant."

Yes they are.

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Sorry it burned when you peed.

.

For a little while when I was a little kid I had very mild insomnia simply because I was always convinced I had to pee when I was trying to sleep at night. I didn't have to pee cause I'd have already went to the bathroom like 1, 2, 3, 4 times that night but it made no difference cause I had Munchhausen's for peeing. Luckily it didn't last and I haven't had that feeling for years.

.

Nah. It was more like that feeling that's entirely mental when you're paranoid that you might have left the stove on. There was no physical feeling to justify it, I was just thinking about it to the point that being aware of the feeling of having a bladder was enough to convince myself that I was being paranoid about being paranoid.

.

A UTI doesn't leave you feeling like a crazy weirdo at least.

Honestly - **** that - waking people up. Last I checked sleep was precious.

Amber alert - there’s homeless people slowly dying in my neighborhood. Oh. No one gives a ****. So why is so wrong not to give a **** about done kid you never met? I don’t. Don’t buzz my phone for any reason. Idgaf nukes flooding alien invasion. Not. ****ing. Interesting.

Makes me miss the days they were just on milk cartons.

Gives you something to stroke it to while you're eating your Cocoa Puffs.

So how was it

He's dead now thanks, guy.

since I posted that my phone has gone off 4 more times for the same reason.

On the way home from work, we passed the local housing projects which were swarming with police. Apparently that's where the kid was from.

Surprise surprise. These crack heads don't watch their kids at all. One day I literally saw a couple of 5-7 year olds pull out into traffic on a dirt bike wearing no shirts and no helmets.

You can turn off Amber alerts. In a perfect world there would a discrimination function so whites folks could watch out for one another.

Where is the option to turn it off on an Android?

Being an employed white male I obviously have an iPhone.

Nvm found it.

A crackhead here sold his car to drug dealers and forgot his baby was in the backseat. Crack must be pretty great.

Maybe Puerto Ricans are just garbage.

Shut your flan hole.

But our crack isn't.

"forgot"

The only reason we keep you around.

Like how elph forgets to use a condom.

I don't think people who forget to wear a condom go "Sneak skeet, sweet cheeks" right before they nut.

You really don't know **** about elph's culture and yet here you are mocking it.

All goths do that.

Great gas mileage and easy parking.

You'll kill yourself drunk driving on a motorcycle and probably deserve it tbh.

ftfy. :D

And they're great in the rain and cold weather!

Better to buy a motorcycle in your 20s than wait till you're 40 imo