Sad to hear he's a pedophile.

I just found my mom sitting in her car in the dead of night for at least the last ten minutes eating a candy bar. I'm trying to think of a reason why this would be other than that she was getting high but I'm coming up with nothing.

She doesn't want to threaten your title as family fat ****.

She's crying alone, wondering where she failed as a mother.

She's skinny as **** though.

Ten minutes to eat a candy bar? How ****ing big was it?

Are you sure it wasn't a cock?

It was, I was there.

I can't be sure how long she was out there, but I'm pretty sure I saw the porch light on when I was either going to, and/or coming back from taking a ****. Then I went to smoke a cig a little later and it was still on. I went to turn it off thinking she'd accidentally left it on, only to see her car lights on, so I went outside and she got out with a Snickers in hand. Was weird as hell.

Are you sure she didn't drive to the store and buy it and then eat it on her way back?

Why is this a f*ckin mystery? The woman just wanted to eat a candy bar in peace.