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Watching my friends' marriage crumble for literally insane reasons. I feel terrible.

I was there for much the same thing. I was even sleeping on a couch by the door to the patio that my friend took his very loud call from his wife concerning her cheating on him. I was there for the entire sordid affair and it was bad ****. Bad bad ****.

The reason isn't even like that. It's not even a reason. She's just gone crazytown bananapants all of a sudden. It literally looks to me like she has a psychological disorder. It's ****ing killing me too, they're some of my best friends and I don't understand why it's happening and neither does he.

Been in bed for most of the day. Been sick for a good week now.

Yeah, this was all about alcohol that was making everyone crazy and dysfunctional. The entire dynamic around our group was a drunk train wreck and this was the centerpiece of ****. I don't remember if I was there the time she got drunk and hit him but I remember hearing about it at least. I remember hearing about the husband having to have his hand stitched up because he put it through a window. I remember seeing the husband drunk every night, and the wife sneaking drinks and being a stumbling mess while denying the whole thing. And they had a daughter who was there through it all.

Best advice is to stay out of it as much as possible. Nothing you can do will make anything better and can only make your life harder. That's their ****, their dynamic, and if you wanna lend an ear that's fine(ish), but keep your advice and involvement to a minimum. This is one of the most traumatic experiences of these people's lives and there is nothing your irrelevant ass can do about it besides complicate an already maddeningly complex issue.

You're right of course, but I still want to punch her in the mouth and then shake her while shouting "what are you doing you idiot".

can i yell worldstar while you do that?

Of course you can.