Maybe lay off the booze for awhile.

Also, **** Lucem and his fishes, finding someone that you legitimately care about is hard as ****, and letting a fun relationship die just because of one goofy (and one day you will look back on it as goofy) mistake is a waste. If you really want to stake it out with her, than let her know that you really are sorry, and that you've bought a bunch of ribbed (for her pleasure) condoms so that it won't happen again. Let her know that you know that you ****ed up.

Btw, this is all karmic retribution for being too much of a pretentious wanker to just go see Bohemian Rhapsody with her. You know that, right?

Don't be such a baby.

Seriously, though

Ribbed. Condoms.

You'll thank me later

We? So you've decided you'll both live together? Does she know about this?

What the **** are you even talking about tbh?

i dont want to go through the many pages ive missed but this seems to have gone from elphenor pining over a coworker without talking to her -> getting her preg pretty damn fast

Nah it's a different girl who doesn't realize she's his second choice.

Screamer > Blue Vesty

So that's why he's not just manning up and offering her a ring.

Man when I get love sick that song goes on REPEAT for HOURS!!!