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Old 01-05-2020, 03:12 PM   #67191 (permalink)
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Wrong. Most people have a self-preservation instinct that convinces them to demonize any thought process that doesn't conform. Sort of like demonic possession. We should kill the "survivors" to save our fellow man.
No, Elph is actually right. Well, maybe for some people it's different, but I'm fully aware of the desperation of the human situation. Most people just feel like they get enough out of life to sit out the meaningless drag of it, I guess that's an instinctive will to live. Also, I think you idealise suicidal people: I agree that probably a higher percentage of them understands the meaningless of life, but there are also many of them who don't; a bullied teenager who suffers acutely and is suicidal does not necessarily consider human life meaningless. Also, I think many mass shootings are a misguided way of seeking some kind of glory, which means that those people don't understand the meaninglessness of life.

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I'm sure it'd help to escape an environment I hate but I'd rather not be alone in a new environment. I can't leave my bipolar disorder and trauma in Utah, that'll come with me and that's mostly my problem.



I'm just uncomfortable about it today. I guess the response just feels undeserved when I know I'm far from the only person here dealing with these same exact thoughts. Especially putting, what feels like, an unnecessary worry in people's hearts over something they have very little control over. I know I'd personally be devastated over a lot of people here if they died and now I put it out there that "Hey, if I stop showing up there's a high possibility that it was a suicide." Which, in it's self, is a triggering and depressing thought for people already dealing with it. I don't know, I guess I feel selfish.
When you feel like the response is undeserved that's just the irrational negative thoughts out of self-hate that you talked about. And everyone is at least a little bit selfish. At least you're empathic enough to consider others, which makes you less selfish than most people
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:14 PM   #67192 (permalink)
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You could go somewhere where access to meds isnt so hard.

And have I ever read Plath, LOL
For what purpose? Human progress seems to be going toward automation that removes the purpose of human advancement because we'll just end up being permanently on vacation, which sounds nice, but once we've reached that point the entire psychological impetus towards progress will become a paradox and we'll become an empty race that might as well opt out of existence.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:18 PM   #67193 (permalink)
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Purpose is for zealots.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:19 PM   #67194 (permalink)
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No, Elph is actually right. Well, maybe for some people it's different, but I'm fully aware of the desperation of the human situation. Most people just feel like they get enough out of life to sit out the meaningless drag of it, I guess that's an instinctive will to live. Also, I think you idealise suicidal people: I agree that probably a higher percentage of them understands the meaningless of life, but there are also many of them who don't; a bullied teenager who suffers acutely and is suicidal does not necessarily consider human life meaningless. Also, I think many mass shootings are a misguided way of seeking some kind of glory, which means that those people don't understand the meaninglessness of life.
Is the instinctive will to live a reason to live? Is it a reason that will sustain the human race in perpetuity? If not then we need something else because eventually humans will probably instinctually argue themselves out of that instinct. Which is why I think people are shooting up schools. The mass shooters are like canaries in a coal mine realizing that life is meaningless and pointless and simply the first people most likely to opt out of that, but I don't think they'll be the last once human society culturally advances down that same route.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:25 PM   #67195 (permalink)
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Is the instinctive will to live a reason to live? Is it a reason that will sustain the human race in perpetuity? If not then we need something else because eventually humans will probably instinctually argue themselves out of that instinct. Which is why I think people are shooting up schools. The mass shooters are like canaries in a coal mine realizing that life is meaningless and pointless and simply the first people most likely to opt out of that, but I don't think they'll be the last once human society culturally advances down that same route.
Everyone has their own reason to live, for instance love, but getting enough happiness out of love to make living worthwile might be a matter of survival instinct. At least that's what I meant. And again: the fact that those mass shooters don't simply kill themselves but choose to make it a massacre shows they are misguidedly trying to give meaning to their lives
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You sound like Buffy after they dragged her back from Heaven.
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:25 PM   #67196 (permalink)
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If your first instinct when you feel that "life sucks mannn" is to gun down people minding their own business at a school or wherever, that's pretty ****ed up and I have zero sympathy for you. That garbage mentality makes the most sociopathic politicians look like saints in comparison.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:29 PM   #67197 (permalink)
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^^^
And I got unimaginative basic bitches like this making reality around me? FML bout to drink paint thinner.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:35 PM   #67198 (permalink)
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BTW ****ing sick of basically cool people who are only cool cause they make sure to treat everyone with the same level of over the top niceness that they don't mean so you never know whether to take their niceness seriously so you always look at them out of the corner of your eye.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:40 PM   #67199 (permalink)
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BTW ****ing sick of basically cool people who are only cool cause they make sure to treat everyone with the same level of over the top niceness that they don't mean so you never know whether to take their niceness seriously so you always look at them out of them out of the corner of your eye.
Have you ever read Andersen's tale of the Snow Queen? You remind me of the boy who got the piece of the magic mirror in his eye which makes him see things in an ugly way
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You sound like Buffy after they dragged her back from Heaven.
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:41 PM   #67200 (permalink)
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Batty reminds me of the people in my outpatient program who were just in such denial that they aren't special and might be able to get help so they wouldn't hear anything offered to them. They respond to the therapists by describing how the world is just too ****ed up, their situation will never improve, no one understands, etc. etc. They're a dime a dozen and whenever they would start lamenting the therapists would just put their clipboards down and patiently wait for them to finish, while the rest of us rolled our eyes and tuned out because it's just so predictable and after a while pretty pathetic.
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I know what real life is, I've been living in it for well over a decade
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WWWP is pretty but should be cancelled (digital blackface)

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